


Above The Ground

by FluffyPieCake



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Amnesia, Assassins & Hitmen, M/M, Secret Organizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-15 12:49:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 48,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8057056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyPieCake/pseuds/FluffyPieCake
Summary: Turning your head away from the dark, searching for an escape, following the light at the end of the tunnel. But if the darkness are the one keeping you sane, will you still cross to the other side?





	1. Ｐｒｏｌｏｇｕｅ

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been inspired by anime lately. I didn't even re-watch the show but the idea popped up in my head anyway. This time it's mainly inspired by the series 'Black Cat'  
> It's yet another Zarry fic. Feedbacks are always welcomed. Thank you <3

"We're all adopted here. Nothing to remember from our past lives, just living for the moment and doing whatever we're told. It's not that we don't have a choice, we did accept their terms, but we did it in order to escape … in order to live"

▶⚫◀

 _Drowning in chaos_. That's mostly what the city feels right now, for the past years it's been the same, just no one is capable of doing much to change it. No one is brave enough for that matter. But people are still walking down the streets normally.

Afraid? No. It's more like they've already adapted to the events that occurs around the city that they don't care anymore. Stories are told, but the young ones choose to ignore it … Until they _see it_.


	2. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｏｎｅ

_Uh-oh, running out of breath, but I Oh, I, I got stamina_

▶⚫◀

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he mumbles as he loads his gun, hiding behind a flipped car. "I should've said no!" he says more loudly as he glances at the shattered pieces of glass around him. Spotting the target he spins quickly and shoots them down. But the man laying on the floor isn't exactly the only person he's up against as more shots come his way.

He takes a deep breath, back behind the car once more to avoid the shots. "Right" he stands up shooting two more down but a shot gets through his arm. He hisses but still holds the gun and takes the other two down. "Mission accomplished" he looks down at his wounded arm and sighs.

"This wasn't your mission" A voice comes from behind him and he freezes.

"Shit" he whispers as he slowly turns around trying for a calm face. He shrugs, still holding his arm. "You could at least lend me a hand" he counters instead.

"Do I have to remind you about the rules?" he rolls his eyes at the statement muttering a 'no' but then a gun is pointed at his head. He gulps.

"You just needed it done. Don't act like you care how it's done or by who" he pulls his head high. It's not a new threat, he's been used to those stuff by now.

"True … But he's been lazing around while other do the job … What are you up to?" she narrows her eyes at him but still calm as ever.

"Funny how you don't know, yet they put you in charge" he smirks but soon regret it as he's being pushed to the ground, the wounded arm is being bent behind his back, his gun is on the floor but he can't reach it.

"Talk" he tries to pull off her grasp but fails. He does know why they put her in charge, and she might be a girl, but damn she's tough.

"You should be asking _him_ , not me" And he wonders himself, but he does it for a bonus. It'd be written in his file which will guarantee him a higher rank. He doesn't give a shit about _him_ or whatever he's up to.

The weight on his back fades and he lets a breath out then sits up. "You better watch your back" she glances behind him, "Literally" her gaze falls on him then she's gone.

His insides twist. He hates when she does something like that. He carefully looks behind him to find one of the men he shot down was still alive trying to reach for his gun again. He beats him to it and shoots him multiple times to ensure his death this time. "Damn her. Damn him. Damn you. Damn this city" he sighs pulling his hoodie on his head, "Damn my life"

▶⚫◀

"But … Don't you suspect something? I mean … Even Agent V does"

He sighs. His own thoughts are never spoken out loud. It's not because he's shy or anything. But keeping your personal concepts to yourself is for the best. It's not safe when every word could turn against you.

Agent V was the one who recruited him here. Helped him train and gave him a shelter. Last thing he remembers he was at some alley with a knife in his hand and a dead body in front of him. The memory is blurry and he can barely remember it but he knows it happened and from there he joined _Paige_.

He can still see some blurry visions in his sleep about his past life, his family and other people he'd come in contact with, but nothing more than it is. A _blurry vision_. Certain stuff can trigger his memory and he can remember some people, or at occasions, he can remember the whole scene, the whole conversation, but it's not something he can feel or relate to. It's like watching a movie. A life that he _isn't_ interested in.

It should hurt, maybe, that he is living a life that he doesn't belong to. He should feel like he belongs somewhere else, be happy that he actually have a family. _Had_. They probably don't exist anymore. But he tries not to think about it. If there is someone living on this planet that still care about him, wouldn't they reach for him? Wouldn't they at least _try?_

But he doesn't get his hopes up because he tried to search for information about _himself_ and found _nothing_. Absolutely _nothing_. And from there, he knew that other agents within the organizations got their data erased as well. But he's certain that the same people who erased the data have them. Those who are still _hidden_ in the shadows.

He doesn't know much about Paige other than it's a secret organization among many others that live inside this country. He knows that it recruits people like _him_. People who don’t have an attachment within the city anymore. People who they can use freely without caring that someone might come looking for them. People who don't care about their _own_ lives anymore.

He also knows that within the organization is a certain ranking system. It's not about the money nor it's about personal contacts, there is no such things. But ranks exists because only selected agents can handle certain jobs. So the higher you rank up means you're more professional that those who are below you.

Jobs vary within Paige. There are killing, tracking, stealing and whatever they're asked to do. They never object. They _can't_ object.

He throws his thoughts aside as he finishes bandaging his arm. "I bet you can get something out of him" he looks up to meet a pair of brown eyes, "I mean … People are talking. You go a lot to his room, and … there are noises"

He sighs standing up. Of course people would talk. That's the exact same reason he keeps his mouth shut for the third time today. He doesn't reply, doesn't confirm or deny anything. He's used to rumors, and he doesn’t get fazed by any of them.

▶⚫◀

"Good job!" he's standing with his arms crossed as the other guy sits on his chair. "This would definitely get you to a higher rank quickly-"

"This would get me to a faster death. I'm out" he turns to leave but a hand slams on the door and he's met with blue eyes.

"You should know that I'm a higher rank than yourself" he stays silent because he is well aware of this fact. "And besides, you're getting famous" a smirk appears on the guy's face as he moves away grabbing a picture and showing it to him, "This is our next target"

"Our?" he raises an eyebrow. He never partners with anyone. Not even _him_. And it's like he'd been told, there is _indeed_ something fishy about the whole cooperation thing.

"Be ready by tomorrow's night" blue eyes glance at his arm even though he got it covered, he is pretty sure he hadn't shown that he's in pain either. He goes for the door handle and opens it.

"I don't think you got my point. I said I'm _out_ " he slams the door behind him and he would expect someone to follow him, probably going to _murder_ him, but nothing comes his way. He turns to have a last glance at a certain window and he isn't surprised when he sees a figure standing there. The face is emotionless but even from this distance, he can tell how those blue eyes turn _darker_. And it's not that he won't help him. It's more because he rejected the offer that a higher rank agent feels _humiliated_. He is sure revenge is coming his way soon.

▶⚫◀

It's past midnight, but he's still awake staring at the ceiling. He's in his bed but sleep doesn’t fall on his eyes. Probably because his brain is still working, alarming him that someone is out there coming for him. A knock on the door disturbs his thoughts and he pushes the covers away.

"A mission" For the first time this day, he actually smiles as he holds the letter.

"Hey, Ni" One of the people he likes inside Paige is Niall. He is like himself, doesn't put in mind what other people are saying nor he has any bad blood with anyone. If he was in another life, he'd ruffle Niall's hair and pinch his cheeks just because he looks cute smiling back.

"Hey, Zee. Agent V is probably upset about your last encounter and I was around, so …" Niall nods at the letter in Zayn's hand whose eyes fall to it as well. "Are you okay?" Niall glances at his arm and Zayn nods.

"Just the usual" he steps inside, "Come in" but Niall shakes his head.

"Have other business to take care of" but he doesn't budge from his spot. Zayn raises his eyebrows. "Louis is having a target in a near building"

"How do you know this type of information?" If Zayn is speaking his mind to anyone then it's Niall. He considers him as a friend. It's good to have someone to watch your back at Paige.

"I just do. Be careful" with that he's out of Zayn's sight. He sighs closing the door after him and opens the letter. Agent V must be very mad at him to send him to a place near Louis' or she's playing a dangerous game with his own life on stake. He's not sure if sending Niall too was planned. She must have known. She _always_ knows.

▶⚫◀

Zayn is cursing at everything from his place on the ground. His mission wasn't the type that would be given to his rank. Of course Agent V would do that to him, considering that he already took on missions from a higher rank. It's probably a punishment.

He barely managed to get inside the building with only three people noticing him, which led to them dead, and him with a scar on his neck. This was not supposed to be happening. He'd be laying on his bed right now if it wasn't for Louis.

Speaking of the devil. He should be around somewhere. He wasn't given a specific location of where Louis would be at but he'll search the area once he's done. _If_ he's done. His curiosity might be the thing leading him to think about Louis as he maneuvers carefully inside the building. It's the exact same mission that he was supposed to be in.

The building consists of 45 floors. In order to not get caught, he has to take the stairs. He takes a deep breath to stop him from shooting all over the place. _This was not supposed to be happening_.

Luckily, he finds his target at the 21st floor, and he's quickly to take it and leave. The target was a folder that contained information about the company, probably for a client that paid them, or for the organization itself. He doesn't care either way.

He throws the folder in his backpack before climbing out the window and continuing his way down. Unfortunately he hears the gun shots from above him and one scratches his wounded arm. He loses balance but manages to break through another window. Glass is better than bullets in his body. But of course that's not it. His gaze picks up when he hears footsteps and he quickly gets on his feet. He can handle a pistol with one arm, he can walk with glass shreds in his leg, but he can't face a squad that consists of more than thirty armed men.

"Great" he still shoots though, because getting back without finishing his mission is not something tolerable inside Paige. Dying on the spot is what he can handle. Niall would probably be sad for a couple of days, not that he expects more.

Luckily for him, a scream is heard from the building across from this one followed by an explosion. He takes his chance to escape while the men are startled.

He manages to lose the squad as he hides in a near building. He might've killed some people on his way, but that's not something new. He slowly peeks at the building that got exploded and spots a familiar face. He's from Louis' men. He doesn't think twice about following the guy.

The guy leads him to a hospital and he blinks a few times before entering. It's familiar. He'd never been inside before, but he gets a blurry vision meaning that before _that_ _incident_ he'd been here. He shakes his head and follows the guy inside.

He's careful as he pulls the hoodie over his head to cover his face as he takes a different route upstairs, careful for the receptionist working there not to notice him.

Once the guy is at the next floor, Zayn pushes himself off the wall. He notices Louis and he quickly takes a different turn. He stays there for a while then he peeks out. His heart stops for a moment when he finds Louis' gaze on him. He already knows about his presence so he steps out fully. Louis enters a room then breaks the eye contact.

The men standing outside the room won't allow him to go inside so he waits as well. It doesn't take more than five minutes and Louis emerges out of the room, the other two following behind. The hospital is getting crowded and not many are paying full attention to them as injured people from the building not very far from here get inside.

He follows Louis outside with two options running through his head. Either he dies or Louis does. There is no other thing he can process with how things took turn.

"Three against one. Who do you think will kill the other first?" Louis turns to him with a smirk, pointing the gun towards Zayn along with the two others. "Oh, I forgot to tell you that there are other people working for me that are also pointing their guns at you at this moment"

"One is better than nothing" He'd kill one, probably two. Maybe even Louis if he picked the right timing, which seems to be perfectly _now_. But he's distracted. Louis is wearing a ring on his left hand. He shouldn't care about a ring or even Louis' personal life at all. But he remembers that ring very well.

That ring used to belong to _himself_.

▶⚫◀

_And the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold_


	3. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｔｗｏ

_I know I have my flaws, I pay the price but I'm grateful_

▶⚫◀

_"It's a promise" a soft voice whispers to him as a ring is being slipped into his finger. The memory is blurry, he doesn't recognize the voice, he can't see the person's face nor the place they're at, but he can see the ring. Very clearly._

Zayn tries not to stare at the ring. Louis didn't make a move yet, and it only means one thing. This whole situation was merely a _set up_. Louis _wanted_ him to be here, to see.

"How about we all go home tonight? Forget about this whole … thing" Louis offers with a knowing smile. Zayn doesn't drop the gun down, doesn't let his emotions show on his face, he stares back with a cold face then glances at Louis' men as he takes careful back-steps. Louis would have won anyway. Once he's far enough, he drops the gun and walks away.

But why would Louis want him in any of this? Does he know about his past? Or worse … Is he someone _from_ his past?

Louis is very skillful, he's good at what he does, and Zayn would've admired him, but maybe in another life. His doubts are growing because since day one he had hated Louis' guts. He _is_ someone from his past.

Zayn takes a deep breath as he walks past the same hospital. He doesn’t get a clear vision of whatever happened here so he calls the first person that comes to his mind. The _only_ person actually, because he trusts no one else. Niall.

▶⚫◀

"The records doesn't show much. Your name isn't included in anything" Niall informs him.

Zayn sighs, "They've erased everything. Of course you wouldn't find any information"

Niall hums, "We could break in" Zayn opens his eyes and sits up to look at Niall, "Maybe we can find some papers that they couldn't burn. There are usually folders that contains too many names, yours could be included"

Zayn thinks for a moment then nods slowly, "You don't have to do this, you know?"

"I don't but-" he closes his laptop and shrugs, "I have nothing better to do" Zayn smiles. Niall wouldn't actually admit it, but it's not just a favor that he'd ask for another back. He wonders why someone as good as him is at Paige.

"Also" Niall starts again, "There are some rumors" Zayn rolls his eyes, "Louis has a new member in his team. Guess who?"

"So Louis is gathering a team now? And it's just rumors, Ni"

"You know whatever spreads here is true" Niall gives him a knowing look and Zayn has to roll his eyes again. "Anyway … It's Liam"

Zayn thinks for a moment. "Do you think Louis is playing on his own?"

"That's why you need to find out"

Zayn raises his eyebrows, "Why _me_?"

"You're already in this mess, bro" Zayn keeps his mouth shut after that. Louis doesn't like him, he's definitely planning on something, and he is _involved_. "He likes twinks" Zayn sends him a glare.

"I'm not-"

"You have to" Niall stands up and grabs his jacket, "Now come on. We have another thing to attend to"

▶⚫◀

"So apparently, you got into a car accident"

They managed to get to the hospital files after threatening the staff working there.

"I don't remember that" Zayn mumbles. He was diagnosed with amnesia, his name and date of his entering was written down along with his doctor. "We should pay this guy a little visit"

Niall nods and writes down the doctor's address along with his number if needed.

They arrive at the desired place and wait. Niall recognizes the doctor once he arrives and holds his gun asking the doctor to go in quietly. The doctor complies.

"This guy over here was one of your patients two years ago" Niall points to Zayn who takes his hoodie off his face. He is not scared if he was recognized, he didn't have any data out there, and he can easily kill the man if he even attempted to call the cops.

"We're not here to hurt you if you cooperate" Niall smiles sweetly at him but Zayn knows better than to expect anything nice from them both.

The doctor sighs, "Yes, I can remember you. You came in a very bad shape. Weren't much better when you left either" he pauses and he looks like he's in deep thought.

"Is there anyone who came to see me? Any belongings that I had when I arrived?"

"There was your friend, I guess. He was very sad about your condition. You must have been really close" _He had a friend?_ Was that supposed to make him feel better that someone actually was there for him? Or make him feel worse because that said friend obviously _abandoned_ him?

"What's his name? What does he look like?" The doctor's eyes avoid his for a second and he can see he's nervous about answering. _He knows something_. But Zayn isn’t patient. He doesn’t have much time, and his past is already bothering him although he doesn't quite remember anything from it. He pulls his gun out pointing it towards the doctor. "I don't like repeating myself" he spits out.

Niall is quick to grab his wrist pushing it down. Zayn shoots him a glare but Niall shakes his head, "Killing him won’t do any of us any good" Zayn sighs sitting back in his chair. Niall turns to the doctor.

"If someone is threatening you it's fine, because we _can_ as well" The doctor opens his mouth but Niall quickly cuts him off, "Don't think we can't reach your family or your friends. We can make your life hell. Your choice"

The doctor gulps, "He was about your height, maybe the same body as you" he nods at Zayn, "Brown short hair, and blue eyes. I can't remember the name" Zayn knits his brows in confusion.

"Louis?" he whispers.

The doctor's head snaps up, "Yes!"

Niall squints his eyes at the doctor, he doesn't believe a single word he is saying. Louis must've been the one threatening him. But why would he want to cover Zayn's past life? What did Zayn do? And most importantly, if Louis wants to erase such data, why wouldn't he simply kill Zayn? He turns to look at a confused Zayn. What if Louis _can’t_ kill Zayn?

▶⚫◀

"Liam is our only option so far" Zayn groans. He won't play _this role_ again.

"Why don't you do it?" Zayn counters. "You're definitely his type" he smiles innocently at Niall who sends him a playful glare.

"I can guarantee to you that it won’t be a waste" Niall smirks and Zayn narrows his eyes. He still doesn't want to do it. "Besides, I know you're not some oblivious shy teenager. Louis is taking four steps forward while you stay stuck at your place. If you want to stay in the game, you better take a step forward"

Zayn takes a deep breath, Niall doesn't have to remind him that he's already just a pawn in Louis' game. "What if I want to step out of the game?" he asks quietly and closes his eyes. Why didn’t he just die in that accident?

"Too late, bro. It's either live or die at that point"

"My life isn't that perfect, Ni" he rolls his eyes, "My death won't even make a difference"

"It would"

Zayn opens his eyes slowly, "Would you be sad?" he pauses, "If I died?"

"Someone else will" Niall answers instead.

"You're building too many theories"

"Which will be true. You just have to wait and see. Meaning that you should be _alive_ to actually witness it" Zayn closes his eyes again. "Do I have to remind you about what you're supposed to do like a five year-old?" Zayn sighs and gets up. "You're not leaving in _those_ " Niall points at his clothes making Zayn frown.

▶⚫◀

"Oh! I thought you're dead!"

Zayn doesn't turn his head, not even when a body leans into the wall across from him that he even adverts his gaze.

"I heard about the whole you and Louis thing"

"Me and Louis are a thing now? Cool" he says flatly.

"Not- It's not what I meant. But I also heard some confirmation coming from the original source himself" This time Zayn looks up to see a stupid smirk on Liam's face.

"Am I supposed to laugh or grieve?" he says in the same flat tone and Liam sighs.

"So you dropped out?" Liam changes the subject and the word triggers something in his memory.

 _"You dropped out?"_ The voice isn't as clear in his head but he takes a deep breath reminding himself that he isn't here for a chit chat. He pushes himself off the wall and starts walking in the hallway. He takes another deep breath when he hears footsteps from behind him.

"Did I get on your bad side again? Oops!" Liam jokes and Zayn wants to punch him in the face. He spins to face Liam who's having an amused smile on his face. Zayn smiles a bitter one.

"You think you're so tough, huh?" he says and takes a step forward. Liam doesn't move. If Zayn is thinking about killing him Liam would be dead by now. Even if he's a rank higher than himself. But that never stopped Zayn.

Liam smirks and takes a step forward himself pushing Zayn against the wall, "I _am_. Count it as an advantage or disadvantage, however you want to spend your night"

"Do I get mistaken as the slut of the house nowadays?" Zayn's smile falls and he grits his teeth, "Make a move and I promise you'll regret it"

But Liam doesn't budge, keeping his smirk, "If you fear that your reputation would be ruined, don't be. There is no one in the house anyway to tell the deed"

Zayn narrows his eyes, "Louis cleared the house?" then it's his turn to smirk, "Got left alone? Aww"

Liam pushes further until there's no space between their bodies, their faces are a breath apart. "You're the one to talk"

"Actually, I walked out with my own dignity-"

"You want me to remind you how you got in?" Liam's hands fall to his hips leaving his own resting at Liam's arms as Liam sucks at his neck. He'd be lying if he said Liam isn't his type. A strong muscled body and a deep voice, and Liam is actually very skillful himself, he earned a higher rank in an impressive period of time, but Zayn wouldn't say he's actually the smartest one around. And he wouldn't go for an _empty-head_.

And he isn't wasting his time like Niall told him. "I'm not getting fucked in a hallway" but he wouldn't exactly say no to a good shag. Liam pulls away and drags him to a room.

"When's Louis coming back?" Zayn asks once Liam hovers over him, eyes already roaming his body. Zayn won't lie, his eyes roam as well and his hands are already itching to touch. Liam finally locks eyes with him and sighs.

"Not the sexiest thing to say at this moment" And he knows Liam won’t tell him anything this way so he sits up, takes his hair tie off and messes his hair a bit then slides it to one side making his eyelids drop and he gives Liam a look behind his lashes as he slowly sits on Liam's lap.

"I like to enjoy my time, babe. I don't appreciate interruptions" Liam licks his lips and Zayn knows he already got him where he wants him. "But I doubt you'd last to how many times I want" he puts a finger under Liam's chin and his touch is barely there as he smirks down on him.

"Don't put a challenge that you're not up to" Liam smirks back. And damn it. Zayn has to keep his composure in order not to explode. Liam turns out to be too much in the moment to register anything else. He still allows Liam to push him back on the bed as he takes his clothes off. Zayn wouldn't object, he likes what he's seeing very much. Liam's gaze fall on him again and he raises his eyebrows, "What? Backing off now?" Zayn blinks slowly but not making an effort in moving an inch.

"Thought I'd give you the first round" Liam moves closer and leans in for a deep kiss, his hands grabbing at Zayn's shirt and he pulls back to pull it off Zayn. His mouth comes in contact with Zayn's neck then down his chest, his nipples, his stomach and his hands are fumbling with Zayn's pants until they slide off. He blinks a few times and Zayn actually blushes. This was a stupid idea. _Niall's_ stupid idea.

"I didn't think you're _that_ type" but it obviously works as he mouths at his dick from over his lace thong. "Fuck!" Liam swears a little out of breath as he sits up to take off his pants as well. "You're too pretty" Zayn doesn't have time to register as Liam spins him around so he's laying on his stomach, and … okay.

Liam quickly grabs the bottle of lube and a condom placing them on the bed as he gets between Zayn's legs again, sliding the thong down slowly, then biting at his ass cheeks.

But Zayn isn't moaning. He suddenly feels dizzy and he tries to blink the vision away but doesn’t succeed. Liam must've noticed because he's stopped and his voice sounds nearer, but Liam's voice isn't the only voice he can hear.

_"You wouldn't even wear them for me!"_

_Zayn can see the room clearly this time. There is a figure that's probably having an argument with, but he can't see the figure. It's not that the vision is blurry, it's because he isn’t looking at the figure's direction at that moment._

"Zayn?!" Liam's voice rings in his ears as he blinks one more time. It appears that Liam flipped him so he's laying on his back. He's having a concerned face. Ha, funny. Liam is probably concerned about why he isn't fucking him right now, not that he cares for his mental state.

Zayn blinks again, "Just blacked out for a sec" he glances at the clock hanging on the wall behind Liam, "I don't think it passed more than five seconds" he gives Liam a tired expression, and it is tiring.

"You don't seem like you're in a state for sex" Zayn pushes his hair back with both hands, he won't say he is, and he's probably already ruined the moment.

"I'll be going then" Zayn breathes out and sits up carefully not to give himself another headache.

"Louis won't be back today, not even tomorrow. You can stay. We could fuck when you're recovered. I don't think the guys would mind either" he shrugs.

Zayn knits his brows in confusion. Louis went out … _Alone_. And he isn't on a mission for Paige either. Well, he did manage to get a piece of information out of Liam anyway.

▶⚫◀

"Niall, we're not going on a picnic!" Zayn glances at the bags of chips then at Niall.

"What you don't know is it would be very interesting to watch" Niall smiles knowingly making Zayn squint his eyes at him.

"And what exactly that I _don't_ know?"

Niall sighs packing the chips, "Just follow me"

"You knew something before I even meet Liam! Niall!" Niall turns to shrug at him and he pouts making Niall laugh.

"No, I didn't. Now come on" Zayn still pouts at him but he follows behind him anyways.

Their destination is a university and they sit on top of a building to try and spot Louis.

"There!" Niall spots him and Zayn follows his gaze. Niall opens a bag of chips and Zayn blinks at the sight. Louis is indeed alone, and he has no idea how Niall managed to know where he'd be at, nor that he knows why Louis is here, in casual clothes, his face is not hidden, with a _rose_ behind his back. But he does catch that Louis isn’t wearing the ring anymore. _His ring_. He probably sold it. Or not. Louis definitely still has it.

He watches as Louis' face stretch into a wide smile. Zayn gapes. It's the first time he sees Louis smiling so genuinely. Someone approaches Louis but Zayn can't see his face. Just that he's taller than Louis, a fair built body, and curly brown hair that falls to his shoulder. He grabs the bag of chips from Niall earning a chuckle from the latter. It is indeed a sight to watch.

They kiss, and Louis hands him the rose, still smiling that stupid _'love sick'_ smile. Oh, he'd ruin Louis' life. Zayn is so going to use his secret lover against him. He doesn't have any plans yet, but to have something to hold against Louis is big. He is taking a step forward while Louis stays at his place for once.

"Why didn't you plant a device or something there if you knew he'd be here? I wanted to listen to their conversation" Zayn whines. He is curious.

"Trust me you don't" Zayn turns to Niall who's having a serious expression on his face.

"Spit it out"

Niall sighs, "He is a law student. Apparently Louis' love interest"

"And?"

"There have been rumors flying around Paige" Niall doesn't turn to him, he keeps watching the couple as they sit on a bench. "About a new member" Niall then turns to him for a second then nods at the couple. "Louis' recommendation"

"Louis would bring him into Paige? But why?"

"Exactly. Louis is playing everyone. But … He is a different person with this guy. Like he's actually in love with him" Niall turns to him again, "Why would Louis bring someone to an organization that your chances of dying is higher than your chances of living?"

"Because he's sure he'd live" Niall turns to look at the couple and Zayn does as well. _What on earth is Louis planning to do with Paige?_

▶⚫◀

Not so many days pass and a new member is introduced to Paige. Zayn can notice how Agent V isn't satisfied, how her death glares towards Louis is sending shivers to his spine. But Louis is calm, so calm it's _terrifying_. Louis is the devil if he has to describe him. Different from the sweet one they saw at the campus.

Liam nudges him when he gets to his side, "His name is Harry. Heard that he's an expert. He passed my own rank test" _Great_. Another high-rank member to join Louis' crew.

Louis walks away from the so called 'Harry' and Zayn pushes off the wall he's been leaning on to have a proper 'greeting'

"You must be Louis' new slut!" he smiles widely and Harry turns to look at him. Zayn's smile drops slowly. His face is familiar, _past-life-familiar_. But he can't help the feeling he gets that he's now seeing him. The same he felt towards Louis. _Utter hatred_.

Harry smiles at him softly, "I'd be grateful if you wouldn't call me that. My name's Harry" he extends his hands but Zayn crosses his.

"As I was saying. From past experience he's not even that good" Harry's face falls. _Good_. "I doubt it's because of his 'charming' persona either. So you must be a gold digger?" Harry blinks once and opens his mouth to speak but Zayn shushes him. "Enjoy your staying at Paige while you can" he pats Harry's cheek, "God knows it won't be long" He smiles and walks backwards leaving a stunned Harry. _Good_.

▶⚫◀

_We play so dirty in the dark, Cause we are living worlds apart_


	4. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｔｈｒｅｅ

_Oh and I know, and you know that we've been here before_

▶⚫◀

Beings summoned into Agent V's room means you've done something _horrible_. People don't fear the physical punishment from her, it's her hard stares that gives everybody chills. One can say she's very tough for a girl, no one knows about her past or what lead her to Paige, but they do know that she is one of the few who has connections with the higher-ups. The people normal agents know absolutely nothing about. They're the ones handling all the missions' acceptance, or usually the approval of new members.

Zayn didn't expect the tired eyes and the messy hair when he opened the door. Her usual straightened pose is now bent over a table with her arms leaning lazily on it. Her hair that was usually pulled up in a tight bun with not a single hair out of place is now down, he can tell it's a bit wavy. Her eyes aren't putting on her hard stare anymore, she's just … a _normal girl_.

"Have a seat" Her voice is still cold as ever and she doesn't have to repeat herself as Zayn takes a seat across from her on the table.

She takes a deep breath and leans back. "Getting old for the job?" Zayn tries for a joke but receives an annoyed look in return. His smirk falls and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"You must know by now that Louis isn't following Paige anymore despite being a member still"

"Fire him" She raises her brows at him, "If he's annoying you then why not fire him? Get rid of him. I'm sure he can't face you on his own. I believe that's why he's gathering a team around him" He knows She's _very_ skillful, damn she's _good_.

"I'm not the one making decisions around here-"

"Look" Zayn cuts her off, "I don't care about whatever conflict you have with Louis. You can deal with your business away from me"

"Sad. You're already involved" They stare at each other and she sighs, "This is not about Paige. Louis is planning for something big and I'm not letting him do it"

"Not about Paige?" He repeats raising his eyebrows.

"Louis is recruiting the members already. Plus, the higher-ups refuse to listen to me, which led me to guess that Louis already got his hands on them too"

"And you're telling me this because?"

"You used to work with Louis, but not _for_ him. And I can see that you despise each other" Zayn nods, it's true, but that still doesn't answer his question. "Louis is not a good person to gain control over a wide area"

"Get to the point" Zayn furrows his brows.

"I'm having a theory but I need to confirm it. I don't trust anyone inside Paige anymore aside from you and Niall" Before Zayn got to ask more questions she carries on, "Louis is throwing a party at some illegal club that's hidden in an underground tunnel-"

"And you want us to go there?" Zayn stands up with a shake of his head, "Nope. I'm out! I'm not going to drag my feet to my own funeral, thank you"

"You're already dragging your feet to your funeral. You think Louis would let you live in any scenario?"

"I'll manage" he stares at her for a second then turns to leave.

"Zayn" she says in a calmer tone and he stops, "I'm not asking this as Agent V of Paige" Zayn slowly turns to find her standing up, "I'm asking this as a _big sister_ "

▶⚫◀

"So it's me, you and V now?" Niall laughs but it's a nervous one, "You know, since I joined Paige, I was expecting my death at any moment but this" his face falls, "This is fucked up, man"

Zayn sighs, it is.

They're not in disguise, he and Niall are wearing casual clothes following Agents V's instructions. They used a car to get to their meeting point and to their surprise, Agent V was there too in casual clothes. They'd admit, her being normal is _weird as fuck_ they don't even know how to approach her.

"The club's lights are dim, they won't notice you if you keep your head low. We're here to grab the useful type of information and we leave without a scene. Don't get drunk. If you do, you'll be left behind" They keep quiet for a moment and she frowns, "What?"

"No, nothing! Nothing at all!"

"I'm in my thirties, not my fifties! I can handle both of you single handed if I want" Hell, she could handle the whole club. Zayn quickly corrects himself.

"Didn't mean that!" he laughs nervously, "You look" he pauses, "Good! Great! Perfect!" he clears his throat and avoids her gaze to look at Niall for support who is just looking away awkwardly as himself.

"I want to feel like I'm working with grown men not moody teenagers. Now move"

"Yes mam!" they both reply at the same time and follow her inside.

They spot Louis and his gang along with others, apparently doing business. They can also spot some of Louis' followers are roaming around the club but acting casually about it. V disappears into the crowd of people dancing and Niall wanders around the corners. Fuck. They let him be in the open. Well, not like entirely, because it's crowded, but still.

He'd done this before, he just needs to calm down. He got two others to watch his back even if V didn't really say it, but she still cares about them. A drink is shoved his way from a waitress and she nods towards a table that's near Louis'. _Bonus!_

He takes the drink and he's about to take a sip when someone passes by him and drops his glass to the floor. Zayn is glad nothing is spilled on his clothes, just his shoes. "Don't drink anything from here. Not even water" a deep voice whispers in his ear and he whips his head towards the source but the guy is already walking away. But the figure isn't unfamiliar, even if he's looking at his back. He takes a glance towards Louis' table and _fuck_. Some are looking back at him.

He quickly turns and he finds Niall, he motions towards the bathroom and Niall follows.

"You're giving them more reasons to be suspicious of us!" Niall hisses in his ears as he guides him near the dance floor. The music is loud and no one can hear anything they say.

"Harry bumped into me earlier and warned me not to drink anything, not even water"

"So either that Harry is a good lad and he's helping us, meaning that the drinks are poisoned. Or he is indeed one of Louis' gang and the air here is poisoning, and the cure is in the drinks. Which do you think is more believable?"

Zayn rolls his eyes dragging Niall out of the dance floor. "Probably the second" he spots V and they make their way towards her. She nods towards a room and they follow. Once they're all in she locks the door and turns to them.

"Did any of you drink anything? Anything at all?" They shakes their heads, "Not even water?" Another shake but Zayn narrows his eyes. "Tell me you didn’t" her eyes widen.

"I didn't but why?"

"They smell weird, and people are already fainting. The club is even closing the doors"

Zayn and Niall share a look. "Harry warned me about the drinks" he says quietly and V knits her brows in confusion.

"Why would Harry …" she trails off once the music stops playing. She slowly brings a finger to her mouth ushering them to keep quiet as she peeks out of the key hole to see that there're no one standing. Bodies are piled on the floor. All but Louis' table. She pulls her phone out and connects the ear plugs in, tapping a few buttons so it's also transferrable to Niall and Zayn's phones.

"Search the whole club. Make sure no one is still breathing" Louis' voice travel to their ears and they panic. The room has no way out, there's barely a closet there that fits two people and they're not sure if Louis' men won't search it but it's their only option as Louis' crew start moving.

V backs away and nods towards the closet, "I'll shoot whoever comes in, I can buy you some time for you to escape" she lifts her gaze to look at each one of them, "Don't look back"

Zayn peeks one more time and sees someone approaching. "No" he backs away, "You two hide in the closet, I'll take care of this one. We'll all wake out this place alive" he turns to them with determined eyes and Niall's eyes widen.

"What are you planning to?" Agent V asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Trust me on this one"

"What are your chances?"

"Probably not higher than 10%" he gulps.

"Zayn-" Niall tries with pleading eyes but he shakes his head.

"It's a shot worth taking. It'd help us regardless" they both nod quickly and he stands by the closet, his heart is already beating so loudly in his chest, and if he dies he dies. It's not that he values his life anyway.

The door opens quietly and he brings his gun in front of him ready to shoot. The same person he saw heading towards them steps in closing the door slightly behind him. They stare at each other for a long moment before another voice calls from outside.

"You found anyone there, Harry?"

"All clear!" Harry shouts back and he motions for Zayn's pocket before he spins and gets out of the room closing the door behind him. Zayn releases a breath that he didn't even know he held for so long and sinks to the floor closing his eyes for a moment.

After a while his phone vibrates notifying him that he received a new message from an unknown number.

_'You're free to get out now'_

He opens the closet and Agent V eyes him for a while. Niall is startled as well.

"You had no place to hide" V starts, "And you obviously didn't shoot each other" Zayn sighs. "Am I missing something here?"

"I have no idea why he would do that!" And he's honest. He doesn't know why Harry is helping him. Out of everyone, him. "Let's just get out of here" he steps out of the room.

▶⚫◀

_Zayn sighs and puts his face between his hands on the steering wheel. He looks up again and yells out of frustration. "Fuck him! Fuck both of them!" he turns the engine on and hits hard on the gas pedal. He doesn't care if he's exceeding the speed limit or that he took a turn into the wrong direction._

_A loud horn makes his head snap up and he hits the breaks fast but it isn't that fast. All he can see is a huge truck coming from his side. He manages to have a last glance at his ring before closing his eyes, accepting his fate._

Zayn snaps his eyes open and he can feel himself breathing hard. What calms him down is soft hands playing with his hair.

"Another vision?" Niall asks quietly. Zayn closes his eyes again and sighs focusing on returning his breath to normal.

"I think it's the accident. The one I got in hospital for"

"But it's clear?" His visions are becoming clearer but the effect they have on his body is getting worse.

"I feel so tired, Ni" he takes a deep breath, "Like I've woken up right after this accident … How many hours did I sleep?"

"Ten. V wanted to have a talk. Think you can make it in about half an hour?" Niall's fingers disappear from his hair and he feels the bed getting lighter as Niall gets up.

"Will try. No promises" he buries himself into the pillows more, pulling the covers over his shoulders. His head hurts. Badly.

▶⚫◀

It's not half an hour, V would give him the speech for it along with her no-ending questions that he doesn't have a proper answer to, and will make his head hurt more that already is. But he makes his way to her room regardless.

"You look like a mess" Zayn doesn't have enough patience to deal with Liam. Not today. "A _hot_ mess" he approaches him and Zayn does look up at him giving his best _'I don't give a fuck about what comes out of your mouth next'_ look.

"Sup grumpy head?" Liam messes his hair and Zayn swats it away.

"I'm not in the mood for you" Zayn mumbles and walks away. The next thing he knows he's being pushed into the wall. He glares at Liam picking his gun and positioning it under Liam's chin. "I think my words were clear" he says through gritted teeth. He doesn't want to deal with Liam's shit today.

"Even hotter when you're angry" Liam smirks and Zayn doesn't give a shit as he pulls the trigger. Unfortunately, Liam is quick to bend his wrist and the shot is wasted on the ceiling. "Stop resisting, babe" he chuckles, "I'm just here for a good time"

Zayn goes for a kick and pushes Liam away, pointing his gun one more time at Liam. Liam quickly hooks a leg under Zayn's own and Zayn gets startled as Liam swats his gun away. Zayn falls to the ground and Liam quickly flips him so his back is facing him and holds both of his arms with one hand. Physically, Liam got the upper hand, and Zayn is _stuck_.

"You're acting like you don't want it" Liam grinds hard against his ass, "I can't get your image from last time off my head to be honest" Liam whispers in his ears, "Already got me dreaming about-"

"Louis is asking for you" A voice interrupts him and Zayn looks up to see Harry with a blank expression on his face. Liam grunts and gets off Zayn.

"Next time, baby" Liam winks at Zayn before leaving. Zayn gets up to his feet dusting his clothes. Harry looks over his body once then locks his eyes with him.

"You okay?" Zayn doesn't reply and grabs his gun from its place on the floor. Should he thank him for helping before and now? Should he ask why he's doing it? Or should he just keep his mouth shut like he always do? Because at the end of the day, what people think or say about him doesn't matter.

"Zayn?"

"You want me on my knees? You want to ask for a favor back?" Zayn turns to face him. "Fuck off! I didn't ask for your help so don't expect something in return!" Zayn grits his teeth, "You're nothing but _Louis' slut_ , and I don't give a fuck about your motives. I don't plan to play in your little dirty game"

Harry stays quiet and lowers his gaze for a moment before bringing up again. "I would never"

Zayn takes a deep breath and turns to leave. He has too many problems to think about, and Harry is only making it worse. His head is already hurting enough and he has to actually hold it.

"Watch out!" is the last thing he hears before his head comes in contact with something sharp and he blacks out.

▶⚫◀

_"Mr. Malik came with major cuts spread all over his body, we managed to cover them all, and I'm proud to say that he's in a great condition … but …"_

_"But?"_

_"His brain was the most damaged part. And I'm not saying that we were not able to cover that as well, we did. But … He lost most of his memory"_

_Zayn can hear a pause, he can't see. Everything is black._

_"Why didn't you call me when he laid foot on this building?!" A voice shouts and something breaks._

_"Dr. Styles please calm down!"_

_"Calm down?! He is in a-"_

_"He's waking up!" Another voice interrupts and Zayn's vision becomes better and better by time. There are many faces that he sees, all seem like doctors._

_"Zayn!" One of them comes close to him and holds his hands. Zayn turns his gaze to look into green eyes. He has a hopeful smile and his face is a bit relieved. It's the same voice that was shouting a minute earlier, but it's so smooth right now._

_"Who are you?" Zayn croaks out. And that's it. Those bright green eyes are no longer bright, and the face that they belong to falls._

Zayn opens his eyes and for the first time, his head doesn’t hurt. He still feels exhausted though. The room isn't familiar. He notices once he glances around him, still not moving from his position. There are fingers that are playing with his hair but they don't belong to Niall. He slowly turns around to find Harry smiling down at him.

Great. Now he owes Harry _yet another favor_.

"How are you feeling?" Zayn blinks a few times at him.

"You're a doctor" It's Harry's turn to blink and even though his smile falters, his eyes are still hopeful.

"I am" Zayn frowns.

"But you were studying law"

"As a side study" Zayn's frown deepens.

"You …" Zayn bites his tongue. He was rambling about information that he shouldn't. And maybe Harry was ordered to gain some from him. He sits up carefully and Harry sighs.

"You're sure you're in a state that allows you to walk around?"

"You tell me. You're the doctor around" Zayn mumbles.

Harry quickly grabs a bottle from a drawer and hands it to him, "If you feel your head hurt, these will help" Like he'd take something offered by the enemy. He takes it anyway, giving Harry the wrong impression that he actually trusts him.

Zayn sighs going for the door. What stays in his mind as he makes his way towards V's room is the look he saw on Harry's face just before he closes the door. _Hurt and sad_. This adds more questions to his mind that he feels it's about to flood.

▶⚫◀

A long pause.

Zayn had told Niall and V about everything and while he's tired. The other two are in deep thought.

"In your vision" Niall starts, "Harry was a doctor" Zayn nods, "From my point of view, I think he genuinely cares about you"

Zayn bites his lip, "Why would he? He was probably just assigned to my case"

"His name wasn't in the files we saw, remember?

"Or" Agent V cuts in, "You have something that he wants" Both men turn to her, "As if having you alive is an extra point to him. To _them_ "

Zayn gulps, "And what would I exactly have to be that important? There's no weird device in my body, is there?" he shivers.

"We can do some examinations just to make sure" Niall offers. Zayn was about to bang his head to the wall but remembers that he has a bandage there – _thanks to Harry_ – and stops. He instead sits down and brings his knees up so he can rest his head there between his arms. He sighs and closes his eyes. He needs to sleep for maybe a full day. That would be so good.

_There's someone talking, explaining something about the human's body that Zayn isn't into it at all. An arm nudges him to wake him up followed by a sigh._

_"Zayn, I can't write any notes with you clutching to my arm that way"_

_"My goal all along" He hears a chuckle and he smiles himself._

_"Zayn, I'm serious"_

_"and I'm comfy" he smiles even wider when he peeks out one of his eyes and sees the notebook closed, the pen is thrown away. He counts it as a win._

_"Mr. Malik!" that jolts him awake and he straightens up. He can see the professor's angry expression and he offers a smile as he slowly stands up. "Would you kindly answer my question?"_

_He hasn't even heard it. He glances next to him and he hears the professor sighing loudly, "No, you won't have Mr. Styles answering for you this time! I expect you to be in my office after this lecture! As for the time being. Since you sound not so interested in what I have to say. Out!" he motions towards the door and Zayn shrugs._

_He picks his backpack mumbling, "My pleasure" then turns to the person next to him. "Guess I'd see you at our flat" giving him a quick kiss on the lips then jogging off towards the door. The lecture hall is crowded and people have mixed emotions on their faces._

_"Not even one thing you learned from him" he hears the professor mumbling and he rolls his eyes. "I can't even believe how someone like you could end up with someone like him"_

_Zayn stops and walks backwards turning towards the students then to the professor, "Oh please. He can't live a day without me. He loves me" he turns to blow a kiss to a certain someone at the back –because he insisted to sit there, and they arrived late … for reasons– And earns a kiss back making the students' talk go ever louder._

_"Out of my lecture Malik!" The professor shouts at him and he shrugs again._

_"Don't blame us just because you can't be us!" he calls behind him and runs away._

Zayn opens his eyes again. This time he could see the entire vision. Clear as the sun.

Why on earth did he kiss Harry? Did he just say he _loves_ him?

▶⚫◀

_Everyone comes with scars but you can love them away_


	5. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｆｏｕｒ

_My guessing game is strong. Way too real to be wrong_

▶⚫◀

At 2 am. Harry definitely wasn't expecting Zayn at his door.

Zayn stands with both hands behind his back offering a sweet smile. Harry isn't sure if he should slap himself to make sure this is a reality.

"Um-" Harry starts but gets cut off by Zayn.

"I remember" he still has that smile plastered on his face.

"You remember?" Harry repeats slowly. What exactly does he remember? Zayn's eyes fall to his lips then back again at his eyes and he takes a step forward.

"You're not going to at least invite me in?"

"Louis is sleeping inside" Harry answers quickly but carefully. Zayn just nods and Harry narrows his eyes. _What did Zayn remember?_ "We can go to yours if you want?" harry offers but Zayn shakes his head.

"Can I try one thing?" Zayn's gaze return to his and Harry nods slowly.

"Sure" He is aware of how close Zayn is, and staring into Zayn's eyes isn't the best solution either. But something is _off_.

"Close your eyes" Zayn whispers against his slightly parted lips. And he does.

And of course something is off, because the next thing he feels is a punch being thrown at his face, and another, and then he's on the ground.

Zayn grabs the collar of his shirt and Harry opens his eyes to see Zayn glaring at him. "I'm going to say this. Just. One. Time" he spits through gritted teeth, "I have no idea what kind of drug you injected into me, but I don't give two fucks about you, your pathetic life, or your pathetic slut inside that room. But let me tell you something" he pulls a pocket knife out and brings it to Harry's throat. Not pressing too much to cut but just to know it's there, and any type of movement from Harry would lead to difficult consequences.

"I still hate you. _All of you_. And if you think you can play me with fake visions, think twice. Whatever you've done to me doesn't change those facts. My trust in you is _below_ zero. Don't expect any nice treatment from me. I would have made that knife slit your throat right now, but luckily for you. You're still in your territory"

"Get off him" A calm voice interrupts and Zayn smirks turning his head to the side to see Louis standing in the doorway with a gun raised towards him.

"Oh! I almost forgot that he's your little bitch" Zayn leans back slightly. "Throw your gun away, babe" he presses the knife more into Harry's throat and Louis glares at him throwing it to Zayn's side. "Good boy. Now walk backwards until I see it's a fair distance"

"You think I can't get you back for this, Malik?" but he walks backwards as he's told.

"Why so formal?" Zayn tilts his head to the side, "I thought you'd be in a good mood when you're fucked" Zayn's smirk widens earning a number of incoherent curses from Louis. Zayn quickly gets off Harry picking the gun and pointing it at Harry while walking away. "This is not over, baby" he shouts and it's meant for Louis and he knows he can hear him.

▶⚫◀

"This is not listed" Niall informs him.

"Of course it's not listed" Zayn scoffs. "He was basically poisoning me"

Niall shakes his head, "I would've known if it's an illegal drug. But it's not listed. Not even the formula"

"So Louis is making new drugs? Why am I not surprised?" Zayn rolls his eyes.

Niall sighs, "We should see its effect. I know some people. Will tell you if I knew anything" Zayn nods at him. Niall waves him goodbye and then he's left to his thoughts one more time. He doesn't realize he's been staring into the distance for too long that he actually dozed off.

_"Would you put that book down for a minute?!" Zayn whines._

_"In case you've forgotten, we have exams. Which reminds me you haven't read a single page yet" Harry turns to him for a second then his back is facing him again._

_"I would be … But I'm hungry" he nudges Harry with his feet, "Go make us something"_

_Harry turns to him again and raises his brows, "When did I start being your slave?"_

_"When you confessed your feelings to me. Now move"_

_"You're the one who's hungry … Stop lazing around and do something" Zayn groans loudly when Harry returns to his books again._

_"Annoying bookworm" he mumbles. "We could be doing all types of things, but you chose to fucking study!"_

_"And when will you?"_

_Zayn pauses for a minute, "Tomorrow" he says slowly earning a sigh from Harry and a shake from his head. "I could walk to you and convince you" he smirks, "But I'm too lazy to get up" he picks the pillows on the bed throwing them at Harry, "Now. Get. Up" he says between each._

_Harry stands closing his book and grabbing the pillows throwing them back at Zayn, "You're not going to leave me be, are you?"_

_"Nope" Zayn smiles widely batting his eyelashes at Harry when he crawls between his legs._

_"Fine. But you have to promise me you'd start studying after we're done" Harry says in a serious tone._

_"Way to ruin the moment, Styles" Zayn crosses his arms over his chest, "We both know that won't happen" Harry smiles reaching to unlatch his arms and plants a soft lingering kiss to his neck._

_"And you're the one to blame" and with that he brings his lips to Zayn's._

It's just a memory. A fake memory. Zayn convinces himself.

▶⚫◀

"What are you thinking about?" Louis whispers in his ears.

"Nothing" Harry answers from his place leaning on the window frame.

"You're still thinking about him" Louis doesn't ask, he knows. "You have seen it for yourself. He isn't the person you think he is" he kisses Harry's bare shoulder, his hands tracing Harry's biceps. "He doesn't deserve you"

Harry takes a deep breath and turns his head towards Louis who smiles at him once he does. Harry forces a smile out himself. "He isn't the one invading my thoughts anymore"

"Good" Louis moves until he's straddling Harry, "Are you ready to let go?"

"Yes"

Louis smiles wider, "Then get ready. We leave at midnight" Louis kisses him deeply then gets up. "I have to look over some stuff with the rest. Will be back late tonight. 10 pm Maximum" Harry nods and waits for Louis to walk out of the door. Louis is moving too fast for his own liking. He sighs grabbing his phone, putting the music on shuffle and flopping on the bed. A specific song starts and he closes his eyes.

 _Friday, I'm dreaming a mile a minute 'bout somebody_  
_This feeling, I wanna go with it, cause there's no way_  
_We're hiding away from this tonight, oh, this tonight_

_"I'm home!" Harry says as he walks through the door. He doesn't get a response though but he can hear music playing a bit loud from the kitchen._

_He peeks carefully to see Zayn in the kitchen, his phone is on the island playing the song. There is a good smell indicating that Zayn is cooking. Or was. Because all that Harry sees is him dancing._

_Can tell you want me. By the way I see you starin' 'cross the room, babe_  
_No shame in the game, Just cut the shit, be honest_  
_Yeah, you know what you gotta do tonight, do tonight_

_Harry leans over the door frame watching him with an amused smile. Zayn didn't notice him yet which is good. He rarely gets to see Zayn dancing. It's not because he can't dance, because apparently he is a very good dancer, but Zayn dismisses the subject whenever Harry tries to bring it up. Zayn isn't a shy person, but he doesn't allow people to see certain parts of him. Not even Harry._

_I just want you to make me move_  
_Like it ain't a choice for you, like you got a job to do_  
_Just want you to raise my roof, something sensational_

_Zayn unties his hair and throws the tie somewhere, Harry's smile fall and he bites his lip._

_And make me oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh  
And make me oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh_

_Zayn seems to be enjoying himself as he closes his eyes, moving his hips to each side up and down with every 'oooh' and his hands mess his hair then go up as he sinks to the floor and back up. He opens his eyes and notices Harry and immediately stumbles backwards and falls to the floor, knocking a pan on the floor with him as well. Luckily, there wasn't anything in the pan just yet._

_"Ow! Fucking hell Harry! You almost gave me a heart attack!"_

_Harry quickly reaches him and helps him to his feet, a smile is present to his face. "Sorry. You were too caught up in the moment, I hated to ruin it" Zayn glares at him, "I did shout that I'm home, but you're putting the volume too loud to hear anyone else"_

_Harry pushes Zayn's hair to the side, "Didn't know you could do such sexy moves"_

_"Go fuck yourself" Zayn pushes away in annoyance._

_"Oh come on! The song is still playing!"_

_"Get out of the kitchen!" Zayn stops the song and locks his phone._

_Harry pouts sitting on a stool, "Why won't you dance for me?"_

_"Because I'm not a fucking stripper!"_

_"Those moves-"_

_"Shut up" Zayn throws a tomato at him but he catches it chuckling._

_"You were very good though"_

_"One more word and you'll be sleeping on the streets tonight" Harry still smiles and grabs Zayn to sit on his lap once he's near._

_"You would kick me out?" Zayn huffs but Harry still kisses him. "I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway, which I didn't, and you're moody … Why are you moody?"_

_"I'm not moody"_

_"You're shy?" Harry asks with an amused expression on his face and Zayn slaps him playfully on the face. Harry doesn't miss the faint blush and the tiniest of smile on Zayn's face. "Aww"_

_"Stop it" Zayn warns but he's not as serious as he intended to be._

_"You're so cute when you're shy" Harry coos._

_"I'm not shy!" Zayn protests._

_"Sure, whatever you say, Babyboy" Harry brings him closer and Zayn smiles, his protests melts into Harry's mouth as his arms links behind Harry's neck._

_"Harry" Zayn pants when Harry sucks at his neck as he grinds up against him, "The food …" he tries to push Harry but Harry just tightens his grip, "Let go of me or you won't have your dinner tonight" he chuckles._

_"Fine. But I still get my dessert" he squeezes Zayn's ass when he gets up._

_"All yours, babe"_

Baby, cause you're the spark that won't go out  
My heart's on fire when you're around  
Make me oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh

The song ends and Harry smiles.

▶⚫◀

"You'd love to hear this"

Agent V looks up as Niall sits down. "I'm all ears"

"So, Apparently, Zayn hit his head and Harry was there and took care of him. He gave him some sort of medicine that we doubted it was a poison. It isn't. It's actually a very good cure"

Agent V raises her brows, "So he's still helping Zayn …"

"That's not all. I had some dirty calls and guess what?"

"Niall"

"Okay, okay. Harry was a student at a medical collage … Along with Zayn. And he was enlisted in some project along with very big names in medical field. Apparently he was what you can call a genius"

"So the memories that Zayn sees are true"

"There's more to it. After a week from the date that Zayn had an accident, the project was paused. And after a month it was shut down completely. After another month, Harry literally disappeared. His data was erased, just like he was joining another secret organization or something"

Agent V frowns as Niall carries on, "Remember that one time that one of Zayn's targets slipped and you got him two days after?" She nods, "Well, he might have told someone about Zayn, because a week after … Harry's name appeared in a law school … Near us"

"Harry didn't join Paige for Louis" She leans closer to her disk, "He joined for Zayn" they share a look, "This will remain between you and me"

Niall furrows his brows, "But Zayn-"

"He isn't in a stable mental state to know this information. He wouldn't believe it anyway. He still needs time" Niall sighs and nods. "Go check on Zayn. Make sure he doesn't do something stupid" Niall nods again and leaves.

She stares at the clock hanging on the wall until it reaches 6 pm and she straightens herself. A text is received on her phone and she opens it.

_'You have till midnight'_

▶⚫◀

_Zayn opens the door to his flat and stops in his tracks when he sees Harry. Normally he'd be happy to see him, but not now. Not when he has an angry expression on his face with crossed arms._

_"Hi-"_

_"Where have you been?" Harry cuts him off._

_Zayn shrugs walking past him to the bedroom, "At work. You know that. Why are you early anyway?"_

_"You must've been very busy then" Harry throws a pile of cash on the bed where Zayn was about to sit, "What? A celebrity passed by and forgot his wallet?"_

_"Okay, let me explain" he says slowly raising both of his hands, "I needed the money, and don't get me wrong. I liked my previous job, but it wasn't going to provide me enough cash"_

_"To do what exactly?"_

_Zayn clears his throat, "I dropped out of collage"_

_None of them talk and Zayn could swear Harry is using all his strength not to break something right now. Because Harry is usually calm and patient, but when his patience runs out … He just doesn't like this side of him. It's amazing that Harry kept it in for three weeks, he's sure he'd known earlier and was hoping that Zayn would be the one to speak. But he didn't, and here they are._

_"You dropped out?"_

_"It was never my passion, okay?" Zayn brings himself to look up at Harry, "You wanted to do this … I just …" he drops his gaze again, "I didn't want to" he says more quietly._

_"You had a scholarship for that"_

_Zayn sighs, "Like my parents would allow me to go to another" he mumbles._

_Harry frowns, "Your family loves you, and they'd appreciate your decision-"_

_"No they won't" he cuts Harry off, "I love them, they're great. But I never wanted to apply for a medical school. Whenever I'd bring the subject, they'd avoid it. And having you go there was a bonus for them! And I just followed!"_

_Harry sighs, "So why do you need the money?"_

_"I applied for an art school and got accepted" Zayn smiles._

_"And how did you get the money?"_

_"I … work as a model now"_

_Harry raises his brows and pulls out an envelope from his pocket throwing it on the bed next to Zayn as well. Zayn knits his brows together as he opens the envelope. There are pictures, of himself. "You're going to tell me the truth now?"_

_"If you already know, why do you ask?" he groans._

_"Because I'm imagining the worst. I wanted to give you a chance to clear this up before assuming anything"_

_Zayn sighs, "Remember brad from high school?"_

_"The horny bastard that was obsessed with you? Pretty much"_

_"Yeah" Zayn drags the word out awkwardly, "Well, he just offered me the job, and was paying very well-"_

_"And then he asked you to wear revealing customs and lingerie and pose sexually and you agreed." Harry is speaking in a calm tone but Zayn knows he's pissed. "You wouldn't even wear them for me!" Harry loses his calm temper, "What's next? You'll fuck for money too?"_

_"No!" Zayn shouts. "Harry you know I'd never! It was just there on the table when I was frustrated!" he then sighs and reaches for Harry. "Besides" he smiles, "Let him have the pictures … You have the real thing"_

_"How much do you need?"_

_"What?" Zayn's brows come together._

_"How much money do you need? I'll help you pay for it"_

_Zayn blinks at him a few times, "I'm not making you pay for my-"_

_"And I'm not letting some horny bastard take advantage of you!"_

_"He is not taking advantage of me!" Zayn sighs, "I promise I'll try to find another job, but until then, I'm a grown man and I can take care of myself"_

_"Give me two months"_

_"What?"_

_"If the project I'm working on is finished, I'll gain a lot of money. I just need some time, and then I can pay your collage fees"_

_Zayn frowns, "You're not spending that money on me"_

_"It'd be more than enough" Harry smiles, "And I don't really mind spending money on you. I like spending my money on someone I care about. And you're all that I care about" Zayn bits his lip as Harry pushes him down on the bed, "You better be ready cause I'll be really spoiling you, Babyboy"_

_Zayn laughs, "You'll be like … My sugar daddy?"_

_Harry pauses, "Say that again"_

_Zayn raises his eyebrows, "I'm not into this kink"_

_"Please?"_

_"Na-ah" Zayn smiles widely. Harry sighs sitting up, "Are you going to do something or you'll stare at me all day?" Harry takes off his shirt and Zayn lifts his own off, "How do you manage to find time for working out between all your studies?" Zayn traces his biceps._

_"Mostly during the hours you spend laying around doing nothing" Zayn rolls his eyes._

_"Works for me" he shrugs, "You look hot" Harry leans in for a kiss, "Daddy" he whispers and the kiss turns into something hot and desperate. And oh well, Zayn didn't know Harry's kinks can lead him to be so wild, he can't even imagine how Harry would handle him later on. "Fuck! Harry- Slow down!"_

_His phone buzzes and Harry stops completely. Zayn whines, "Slow down, not stop!"_

_"You're not the only one with problems down there" Harry sits up grabbing the phone, "It's your mom"_

_Zayn sighs answering the phone. "Sunshine!" he smiles._

_"Hey mom"_

_"We miss you so much! You'd hear the girls but they're all sleep along with your dad. They left me alone, so I decided to call you!" she chuckles._

_"I miss you all too" he glances at Harry to see him waving, "Harry sends his greetings"_

_"Oh! I miss him too! How are you boys managing? I heard about Harry's project, I'm so happy for him!"_

_"Yeah, me too" he says truthfully._

_"I was expecting your name too" here it goes. Zayn rolls his eyes. He wasn't going to tell her he dropped and moved to an art collage. He'd never hear the end of it._

_"Well, you know. There are different fields, and it wasn't my specialty. You'd hear about me soon" he lies._

_"I'm sure I would, sweetie!" He still smiles though, because it's his mother, and he still loves her. She'd hear about him though, maybe if his art is good enough to be accepted in an art gallery. He still hopes they won't be disappointed._

_"Ugh, your sister is crying again. Which reminds me, you're coming over for her first birthday with Harry, no excuses!" He laughs._

_"Of course mom, wouldn't miss it for the world"_

_"Tell Harry we love him! You too sweetheart!"_

_"We love you too"_

Zayn blinks his eyes open when someone nudges him.

"Another memory?"

"How am I supposed to know? It might be fake" he sits up rubbing his eyes.

"Why are you always this pessimistic?"

"Why are you always this optimistic?" Zayn counters.

"There" Niall hands him a pill and a glass of water, "They should help your headache"

Zayn nods and swallows them. Niall didn't tell him those were Harry's but what Zayn doesn't know won't harm him. "Thanks" he smiles at Niall.

"Any time. Now get up, we're heading somewhere"

▶⚫◀

"There's a traitor between us" Louis paces the room back and forth. "Somehow these three managed to escape!" he spits out.

Louis' men planted explosions around every building that Paige owned. They successfully wiped every agent and even the higher-ups.

Harry sighed, "We can find them later. Now stop pacing and come to bed already" Louis stopped, his hands on his hips looking at Harry, "Do I need to carry you here?" Harry smirks and Louis smiles.

"Maybe" he leans into the wall behind him and Harry stands up and walks towards him. "Or maybe I wanted you to fuck me against the wall" Harry lifts Louis' thighs allowing the latter's legs to wrap around him.

"With pleasure" Harry whispers in a deep voice into Louis' ear.

▶⚫◀

"He doubts someone is leaking the information"

"But he doesn't doubt you?"

"No"

Agent V turns, "Louis is not stupid, and I assume you're not as well. Sooner or later he'd find out"

"True. But we still have time"

V takes a deep breath, "I like to think a step ahead of my enemy. We need to deliver a piece of information to Louis' men that removes the doubt from you completely"

"Like a Scapegoat? You want me to help you killing someone else?"

"You act like your hands are clean" Agent V raises her voice, "Should I remind you of why you're here? You owe me" She waits for a reply and when she doesn't get it she smiles, "You'll do what I tell you to if you still want your precious Zayn alive"

Harry narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything.

"I'll let you know when I think of something" She informs him, "Until then. Don't blow it up, Dr. Styles"

Harry leaves the tunnel and walks into the streets.

It's a fucked up situation.

▶⚫◀

_I still feel the blow, but at least now I know_


	6. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｆｉｖｅ

_And oh oh oh, I was a king under your control_

▶⚫◀

"Everything is going smooth so far" Niall informs V. He's able to see the situation clearly through his sniper lens.

It was late at night, there are dim lights, and the streets doesn't contain much people that cause any harm to the current deal. He is not here to kill unless needed. He is only watching, ensuring everything goes according to plan.

He spots a foreign figure that isn't supposed to walk into the scene and his eyes widen. "Fuck! Abort the mission!"

"Niall" V's voice is calm through his ear piece.

"Zayn is there! He'll ruin everything! He might get hurt! Fuck!"

"Niall" V's calm voice come again through his ear piece, "He is a well-trained agent. Even if he's caught up in a situation that doesn't fit him, he'll manage. Zayn might not be the best at physical contact, but he's got agility and good shooting skills"

Niall sighs, "We should've at least informed him"

"Stick to the plan and hold your ground until the mission is done"

▶⚫◀

On the scene. Harry was the one to seal the deal. Louis didn't like the idea at the first place, throwing Harry alone bothered him a lot. But he wasn't exactly alone, there were some of his men that would watch from afar, and Liam had to remind him plenty of times that Harry is not weak. He's proven himself worthy, and that he shouldn't worry much.

Paige wasn't the only organization running the dirty job in the city. There were another big one to match their own, and after taking down Paige, Louis wanted to take down the other one. Not that he expressed his intentions directly, but rather in his still twisted ways.

That's the reason Harry is standing in front of three men, offering them a deal in exchange for inside information about the other organization. And it's none other than its own agents leaking those information. Money could convince a lot of people, but threats and promises of power next to money is something to fairly consider a perfect deal.

And Louis' words aren't empty. He is planning to take control of the city's dark affairs. And once he succeeds, he won't be satisfied. Louis is greedy, and he'll put his hands on everything he can.

That's why after sealing the deal and both parties part ways. Louis' men began sniping the three men. If they accepted their deal and were okay with slipping informations to them then how are they supposed to keep their mouth shut in the future? Louis would blame it on their superiors. That they're not using the right attitude with them. But again. Louis hates rats. And he wouldn't want them in his team.

But what Harry wasn't expecting is seeing Zayn at the same place. He is calm, walking casually around, like it's his way home and he knows this district by heart. But that's just how Zayn acts, doesn't let it show on his face.

"You followed me here?" He asks once he's at a fair distance from Zayn who's giving him a blank expression with his hands in his leather jacket pockets.

"Why would I want to follow you?" Good question.

"To kill me, perhaps?" he mumbles earning a snort from Zayn.

"You'd be in your grave if I wanted to kill you" he glances at Harry's hand holding a suitcase that contains the necessary files that Louis asked for.

Harry feels eyes watching them and he glances around quickly. His job is done and he should go. And take Zayn with him, because he has a bad feeling about this.

"We shouldn't be here, come on" Harry moves forward and Zayn takes a step back. Right. Zayn doesn't trust him. "Look. I'm not here to have a fight with you"

But Zayn can feel it too, the same eyes that are watching them. "Would be a shame if Louis lost what he came for" he smirks glancing at the suitcase again. "I know you can feel them too. Should I leave you to your destiny then?" he tilts his head and moves backwards until he reaches the car that was originally there for Harry to use once he's finished, and gets inside.

Harry would ask how he managed to unlock it or how he's going to drive it without a key, but he feels someone approaching him from behind and he pulls his gun out turning quickly. He hears the car engine going on and then the sound is faint notifying him that Zayn left him alone with no escape route.

Four guns –He notices– are now pointing at him and even if he managed to kill one and avoid the other, there are still two others that can kill him next. But they're not shooting and he steps backwards until he finds a corner he can use to hide and takes his first shot. One is down, three to go but they're not shooting back and he knits his brows in confusion as he sets the suitcase on the floor.

A loud crashing noise startles him, and oh no. It's a car crash, and he knows exactly what to expect.

"We're not here to exchange gun shots, Dr. Styles" One of the men shouts. They know him. Makes it worse. "But you might reconsider your choice and come out instead" Harry takes a deep breath and takes a peek through the dirty glass pieces next to him. The remaining three are now close to each other but that's not what catches his eyes.

Next to them stands Zayn, a bit bloody –definitely from the crash– but judging from his appearance, he appears to have managed to get out the last minute and probably rolled on the floor and got scratches of some sort on his legs and arms. His gun is pointed towards the three but there are other four behind him and Harry can see he's nervous, like he can't decide whether to shoot who's in front of him or turn to the other four or just run away.

One of the three falls to the ground, then another, and Zayn takes it as his cue and turns around shooting two of them while they're startled. Harry almost forgot that Niall is still watching his back and releases a sigh of relief. Zayn gets shot in one of his legs and falls to his knees. Harry quickly shoots one of them. The remaining two finally snap out of their haze and manage to get to Zayn.

But Harry is still far and he freezes. "Drop your gun" One of them orders and Harry does.

Zayn's gun is now at the other guy's hand, and they make him stand on his feet, one is bent, and he winces from the pain. Another shot pierces through the man's skull –the one that was holding Zayn– and Zayn uses all his strength to stand on his injured foot and kicks the remaining guy with the other. He hisses in pain again and falls to the ground.

Harry picks his gun quickly and shoots the guy while he's still bent. He hurries to Zayn next. "You've been shot"

"No shit?" Zayn says in a sarcastic tone and rolls his eyes.

"Niall should be here soon-" Harry cuts himself off. He was not supposed to say that.

Zayn furrows his brows, "Niall?" Harry tries to focus on Zayn's leg rather than hold his stare, "Why the fuck are you … What on earth do you have to do with him?" Zayn hisses, "You fucking dragged him to your mess too?"

Harry stays silent and he remembers the suitcase. He stands up, turns, and walks away to grab it leaving a confused and a furious Zayn cursing at him.

Moments after, Niall arrives with a car and Harry uses the first aid kit that Niall brings along to get the bullet out of Zayn's leg then patch it up. None of them utter a single word. Niall drives quietly without one glance to Zayn. Harry stares out the window. Zayn sits on the backseat glaring at both of them.

▶⚫◀

Harry doesn’t return to his room, nor Louis'. He longed for some fresh air to clear his mind a little.

The one who was responsible for contacting the men from the other organization was killed under Louis' orders after hearing about appearances of more men. Harry didn't tell him they were a third party, he also didn't tell him about Zayn, or Niall. Louis' men that were there to witness the situation and stayed were killed by Harry afterwards.

Never in his life had he imagined himself as a killer. The same words he used to learn years ago are slapping him in the face.

_'We save lives, we don't take them'_

A heavy sigh escapes his lips and he closes his eyes, leaning his head on the floor that he's currently laying on. The air blowing over him feels nice, chilly in the cool night. Music is blasting through his ear phones to drag his mind out of his thoughts as he lays on the roof of the building. The song ends and another starts, and he finds himself relaxing.

_If I had it my way, I would take you down  
If I had it my way, I would turn you out_

_He's sitting on his desk, papers are spread, books are open and he has a pen in hand, hair pulled up in a bun, when he hears those words. Suddenly the lights are off, and what's left are faint ones. He can see, the night sky is sending light through the opened window, not enough to focus on what's he's been doing but he can still see._

_And if my body had a say, I would come again  
Scared of what I might say, cause I'm at the edge_

_His eyes shift to the room's entrance and he slowly drags them from the bottom to the top._

_There, leaning on the doorframe, stands Zayn. Wearing red heels, black stripped stockings that reach his mid-thigh, along with red silk robe that continues from there, closed and tied that hugs his body perfectly, but also hides whatever is beneath them._

_And our eyes are crossing paths across the room_

_Zayn's hands are at the wall as he slides slowly downwards._

_There's only one thing left for us to do_

_Zayn slides back up._

_You can touch me with slow hands_  
_Speed it up, baby, make me sweat_  
_Dreamland, take me there cause I want your sex_

_Zayn's hands slide through his thighs then up all the way until they reach his hair. His body is slightly bent. Eyelids are heavy over his eyes, and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth._

_If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away_  
_Touch, make love, taste you_  
_If my body told the truth, baby I would do_  
_Just what I want to_

_Zayn replaces his expression with a smile, his eyes are closed and his hands are locked behind his head, swaying his hips left and right._

_His hands fall to his sides as he half opens his eyes and starts walking towards Harry slowly in a cat-walk style and if Harry wasn't too caught up in the moment, he might have asked how Zayn walks so comfortably in those heels, as if he's used to wearing them._

_If I had it my way, I would take the lead_

_Zayn's knees are at each side of him as he brings a finger under Harry's chin to tilt it up._

_And if I had it my way, I would take you deep_

_He slowly sinks into Harry's lap purposely making his crotch rub against Harry's under the robe. And Harry is already hard, but he doesn't know if he's allowed to touch yet, which makes the anticipation even hotter._

_If my body had a say, I'd get it off my chest_

_Zayn turns swiftly in Harry's lap bringing Harry's hands on his belly._

_Show you all the red lace underneath this dress_

_Harry takes the hint and unwraps the robe allowing it to slide off Zayn showing indeed, red lace panties accompanied with matching bra. But before Harry gets to admire or touch the fabric, Zayn is getting off his lap and swipes the books aside then sitting on the desk. But not just sitting on it, because he then stands on it._

_And our eyes are crossing paths across the room  
There's only one thing left for us to do_

_Harry would usually complain about his books being thrown aside, but he doesn't at that moment, not when Zayn is staring into his eyes behind his lashes, not is a shy way, but in a sexy way and his mouth parts a bit._

_You can touch me with slow hands_  
_Speed it up, baby, make me sweat_  
_Dreamland, take me there cause I want your sex_  
_If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away_  
_Touch, make love, taste you_  
_If my body told the truth, baby I would do_  
_Just what I want to_

_Zayn starts dancing again, occasionally turning and bending forward so Harry gets to see the full shake of his ass, or crouching in front of Harry, his legs are wide spread, and his hands are teasingly touching places that Harry wants his own to._

_My mind is getting in the way. Can't feel what my body say  
I'mma tell you anyway, I'mma tell you anyway_

_Zayn slides his hair to the side just the way Harry likes it and gets off the desk to stand closely in front of Harry. Practically jumps. And Harry would –again– wonder where Zayn learned such moves but the thought disappears with the next move of Zayn's hips._

_You can touch me with slow hands_  
_Speed it up, baby, make me sweat_  
_Dreamland, take me there cause I want your sex_

_Zayn sits again in his lap and unties Harry's bun allowing his hair to fall down then stands back up, walking backwards as his hips keep swinging with each step._

_If my body had a say, I wouldn't turn away  
Touch, make love, taste you_

_Zayn mouths the last sentence as he smirks, leaning back on the doorframe and grinding his ass against it._

_If my body told the truth, baby I would do  
Just what I want to_

_He motions with a single finger for Harry to come and he does. Standing from his seat and approaching Zayn as the song ends. The latter smiles when Harry picks the robe as well on his way. Harry uses his free hand to hold Zayn's hip and brings him closer, moving him away from the door frame. He slides the robe over Zayn again but keeps it open earning a confused look from Zayn._

_"You're supposed to undress me, not the other way round"_

_Harry brings his hands to Zayn's ass, stroking it for a couple of times, under the robe, but over the panties, then slides it underneath his thighs lifting Zayn up and walks till he reaches the bedroom, dropping Zayn gently on the bed._

_"What have I done to exactly deserve this?" Harry asks as he takes his shirt off, followed by his pants._

_"You're still keeping those pictures of me" Zayn smirks as Harry slides his boxers off and returns between his legs, "But honestly" he hooks his arms behind Harry's neck as they kiss. "You're already doing so much for me and I know I can't pay you back, so … I just figured I might fulfill your weird kinks" he grins and Harry laughs._

_He knows it's only sexual. But there's more to it that just that. For Zayn to get out of his comfort zone and do this for him means that Zayn is actually desperate to show that he truly appreciates whatever Harry is doing for him. Not that Harry would ask him to, he'd do anything for Zayn without waiting for something in return._

_"You look very sexy. You don't even understand what you're doing to me" Harry bites at Zayn's earlobe and then sits back. "Turn around" Zayn does just that and Harry lifts the robe to his waist. He traces the red lace for a minute before sliding it to the side, not taking any item of clothing off. And it might be weird, but Harry wants to fuck him while he's still wearing everything. Even his heels are still there._

_He slowly brings his tongue to Zayn's entrance and swirls it around for a bit then pushes it inside. Harry is not patient, not when Zayn's wearing that outfit, not when he was teasing him for the whole song. And Harry had to restrain himself from touching._

_Zayn releases a gasp when Harry starts thrusting his tongue quickly, swirling it inside and flattening it some other times, or sucking at his rim, all too sudden, but he doesn’t speak. He just lets Harry have what he wants._

_Harry slides his tongue out although he was enjoying it. Tasting Zayn is always enjoyable. But he reaches for the lube coating his aching member. He doesn’t use his fingers to stretch Zayn some more as he slides the panties aside one more time allowing him to enter._

_Zayn buries his face into the pillows and moans loudly feeling Harry bottoming out. But Harry doesn't wait and he's thrusting at a moderate pace already. But that doesn't last either as he thrust harder, faster and deeper. Zayn is used to rough sex, he'd ask for it sometimes, but Harry is definitely wilder with his thrusts this time._

_Harry lifts him up so they're both on their knees. One of his arms is secured around Zayn's waist holding him still, the other travel to his nipples to stroke and pull over the fabric of the bra. Zayn's head fall backwards on Harry's shoulder and Harry sucks hard on his neck, leaving many bite marks as he could._

_Harry doesn't touch his dick but Zayn still comes with a loud moan in his panties. But that doesn't stop Harry's thrusts even when Zayn's clutching around him so tightly that his teeth bite a little too hard than he intended on Zayn's shoulder._

_It takes Harry a couple more thrusts to come inside Zayn then slowing his thrusts for another minute. The sensation becomes unbearable and Harry could clearly see how Zayn's thighs tremble and he can't stand anymore if it wasn't for Harry's arms around him. Zayn whines and his fingernails dig into Harry's arms. A Silent plea for Harry to pull out already, that he can't take it anymore, and that usually, Harry doesn't keep going like that. They'd at least pause if they're having a second round._

_"Up for another round?" Harry still asks despite all the signals that Zayn is giving that he's clearly not up for anything else. Harry's been too rough. He shakes his head and stops it when he's facing Harry._

_"S-Stop moving a-already" Harry finally snaps out of it and pulls out, placing Zayn back on the bed gently._

_"Shit! Sorry!" he kisses Zayn's cheeks, the side of his face and then his neck. "You want me to bathe you?" he asks softly earning a faint nod from Zayn._

_He smiles as well sitting back up and taking Zayn's heels off. He pauses, "How do you walk in these anyway?" Zayn blinks but doesn’t reply and Harry presses his mouth shut. There are still parts of Zayn that he doesn't get to know yet, and he's alright with that. Zayn is his, and he plans to keep it that way._

_He takes off his stockings next, kissing his way from his thighs down to his feet that Zayn smiles over his shoulder as he watches him doing so. He takes off the robe kissing his way to his lower back. The bra is next then the panties, and Harry stares for a while at Zayn's swollen hole. He worries that he over did it, but damn it was good._

_He carries him to the bath then back to bed, and he smiles when Zayn snuggles closer to him, placing his head on Harry's chest and his arm over Harry's waist as Harry stokes his hair softly placing kisses there often._

_"I love you"_

_Zayn smiles, "I love you too"_

Harry should probably smile at the memory, but he doesn't.

▶⚫◀

"Anything I should know?" Zayn asks irritated.

"No" Agent V says dismissively causing Zayn to gape at her.

"No? You're working behind my back!"

"It's not something that you should know" she raises her voice making Zayn close his mouth again. He is still glaring at her though.

"Fine" he gets up, winces slightly as he gets to his feet, "If I'm not that important to you, then I guess you don't need me here either"

She sighs but doesn't look up from her book as he slams the door behind him.

He sees Niall in the hallway and glares at him too, "And I thought you were different" he spits at him and walks past him.

"Zayn" Niall tries but Zayn cuts him off.

"Don't bother" he grumbles and continues on his way.

He returns to his room, slamming the door behind him and flops on the bed. Harry helped him. Again. Which he doesn't understand why. Even Niall and V had taken a liking to him now and he's working with them. Which probably should mean that Harry isn't a bad guy. But why on earth each time he sees him he feels like he wants to burn his body alive and watch till he turns to ashes?

He shuts his eyes tightly burying his face deeper in the pillows. Gosh, how his head hurts.

_He looks up from his sketch pad seeing a smiley Harry with both arms behind his back. He narrows his eyes. "What are you up to, Styles?"_

_Harry reveals a bouquet of flowers and he smiles, "Okay" he says slowly, "What did you do?"_

_Harry rolls his eyes, "Do I have to do something bad just to bring you flowers?"_

_Zayn thinks for a while then frowns, "You're not … You're not traveling away for your project, are you?" he looks down at the bouquet in his arms and Harry shakes his head sitting in front of him._

_"No, baby" he removes the sketch pad aside and Zayn puts the bouquet next to it, "I would bring you along if I had to travel. Not that I need to any time soon" he brings Zayn to his feet taking his hands in his. "You won't be able to stand having me away?" Zayn glares at him for a second then dropping his gaze down._

_Harry fights back a chuckle knowing very well it would irritate Zayn. He leaves Zayn's right hand and drops on one knee. Zayn blinks a few times then his eyes widen and his mouth gapes when Harry pulls out a small box and opening it, revealing a diamond ring._

_"I got it before I even know about you changing schools. I would've used that money for your fees instead, but things happened and … yeah" Zayn covers his mouth with one hand, the other still in Harry's own. "I kept it for a long time with me deciding on whether or not I should do it. And I'm not asking you to commit very soon. I know that you think you're still young and all, but I would never love anyone else other than you. I just want you to know that"_

_Harry drops Zayn's hand to take the ring out standing once again in front of Zayn and throwing the box away, "I'm not proposing, not that I wouldn’t. But it should be more magical than that, and like I said. I'm not rushing things. And I'll be getting you even a bigger one for our engagement, because I know you deserve more than that and-"_

_Zayn cuts him off with his lips on his own, his hand is behind Harry's neck, the other tangled in his hair, and Harry kisses back just as eager as Zayn._

_The finally part but Zayn doesn't move away, and Harry doesn't plan to do it either. "I fucking love you, you big idiot" he smiles, "And I wouldn't imagine myself with someone else either. And even if you proposed I'd still say yes" he drops his hands to cup Harry's face as he moves slightly backwards to properly look at him._

_Harry grins, his dimples are deep in his cheeks and Zayn pokes them, kissing Harry again. "A promise" Harry whispers as he slides the ring into Zayn's finger, "This would be my promise to never let you go" Zayn grins as well and actually blushes._

_"I would never let you go either" And that's when Zayn decides that he's keeping that ring no matter what._

Zayn clutches his head tightly. It aches so much that he can't stand it. He doesn't know why having these visions keep making his head hurt the way it does, but he wishes it'd just stop.

He glances at the nightstand and grabs the bottle that Harry gave him. Poisonous or not, he doesn't care, he just wants his head to rest. He opens the bottle taking three pills and he downs them along with some water.

He flops back on the bed and tries to go back to sleep. Maybe then his head would stop working. His mind wanders to the memories he had again. What if they're true? What if Harry does care about him?

But on the other hand. Why does it feel like he's watching some other life that doesn't belong to him?

Why does he still feel nothing but hatred in his heart towards Harry?

▶⚫◀

_Open your arms and pray, to the truth that you're denying_


	7. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｓｉｘ

_Get mad independent and don't you ever forget it_

▶⚫◀

"He just overdosed" Harry glanced at the opened bottle then back at Zayn. "It's not harmful, but he won't wake up soon. It's not that he swallowed the whole bottle … Probably three pills" he turned to look at Niall who nods at him.

"Wait. Why three?"

"Because I told him to only take it if he didn't feel well. And in Zayn's logic, that means he can take two a day, maximum" he smiles, "His conscious kicks in, and he guesses one more would do more than the required job but in the same time it won't kill him"

Zayn hasn't changed, not much. He might be a hit-man right now, but his character just grew its dark side more after he lost his memory. In Harry's guess, Zayn is probably confused so he's always on auto defense. And it's not that he hadn't seen Zayn's dark side before, it's just that he wasn't at the receiving end of it.

"Were you too married?" Niall asks, because Zayn has told him about what he sees, and Niall wants to be sure.

"I wish" Harry answers quietly as he looks down at Zayn's sleepy figure. He looks peaceful, unbothered. Throughout the years they had spent together, Zayn had never woken up before Harry, and Harry would get to see this sight daily.

But Zayn mentioned a ring, "Did he belong to someone else?" He asks carefully. If Harry cares so much but he wasn't _the one_. Then …

Harry frowns and turns back to Niall, "Like … Before he lost his memory or after?"

"Before"

Harry's frown deepens. _Was Zayn with someone else during their relationship?_ "I … hope … not?"

"People don't usually walk with a diamond ring on their left hand"

Harry blinks, "Oh!" he releases a sigh of relief, "Yeah … I gave him that"

Niall crosses his arms and squints his eyes at Harry, "Yeah, and what happened?" Harry gave him a confused look, "To the ring?"

Harry shrugs, "He might have lost it afterwards, I'm not sure" Harry would buy him a new one anyway.

"Lost it? Or you simply moved on?" Harry might have given up, Niall thinks. But he came back, and he has no idea why would he if he already forgot about Zayn.

"What are you pointing to?"

"Don’t act stupid. You're better than that. Zayn is my friend, and if you attempted to hurt him, I won't forgive you" Niall won't say it out loud, but he does care for Zayn. The two of them got along when Zayn first joined Paige, and if the circumstances were better, he'd happily admit it.

But Harry doesn't get it. "I would never hurt him!"

"Then why is Louis wearing the same ring?" Niall isn't blind. And he isn't the only one who notices how close Louis and Harry are. He guesses that something happened made Harry feel guilty about it, and decided to help Zayn. But everything is fishy in this world.

 _Why is Louis what?!_ Harry never saw him wearing it. "I should go" he mumbles as he stands up which gives Niall more reasons to doubt Harry.

Harry, on the other side doesn't waste time returning to Louis' place. He is thankful Louis isn't there when he arrived allowing him to search the flat.

_He finds nothing._

But If Niall and Zayn saw it, they won't lie, _would they?_

Harry calls Louis to see where he's at. If Louis indeed had the ring, he wouldn't leave it laying around in the apartment. Not if he knew that Harry might find it. Fuck … _Louis knows_.

Louis arrives at night, apologizing to him that he couldn't spend the day because he had to take care of some urgent issues. Harry forces a smile out, replying that he just 'missed him' and it played well. He got him to bed and got up to search his clothes once he made sure that Louis isn't waking up soon.

He finds the ring. _Louis knows._

▶⚫◀

_Zayn enters the room with a grin on his face._

_"You know that big art gallery that's being held downtown?" Harry smiles nodding, "Well, mister. You are invited"_

_"I am?" Harry raises his eyebrows._

_"My artwork is going to be hanging on a wall there. They choose my artwork to be displayed Harry!" He literally jumps and Harry can't help his own grin from stretching on his face as he picks Zayn up swaying him a bit then putting him back on his feet._

_"Knew you can do it, baby" Harry kisses his lips._

_"Oh my god. Oh. My. God!" Harry chuckles, "This is big!" then he shifts his gaze nervously, "You think I should call my family? Let them know that I've actually achieved something?"_

_"They would be proud" Harry agrees._

_"Oh my god" Zayn hugs him again tightly and Harry keeps the grin on his face, hugging him back just as tight, "Thank you for supporting me" he pulls back with a shy smile._

_Harry kisses him again, "Always"_

_A gun shot breaks through their window and they freeze. They exchange a look, and then there are other shots breaking throughout the room. Harry quickly leads him outside the room, but it doesn't help. There are still opened windows. Zayn drags him to the only closed place that doesn't have a window on the streets. The bathroom._

_"What the hell is going on?" Zayn whisper shouts once they're both sitting on the floor._

_"How am I supposed to know?" Harry whispers back._

_"Okay … We need to call the cops" he turns to Harry. "I still have my phone" Harry nods as Zayn pulls out his phone._

_A loud thump alarms them that someone got in through the window, and hearing footsteps afterwards confirms their doubts. If they made any noise they won't be sure if they'd stay alive, so Zayn does the only logical thing he can think of. He sends a quick message to one of his friends living nearby. And anyway, he's sure that their neighbors are hearing and witnessing this._

_The footsteps come nearer and they stand backing down slowly. A figure appears at the doorway and Harry stands protectively in front of Zayn. The person flicks the lights on and puts the gun down once he notices them._

_"Louis?" Harry questions, his eyebrows furrowed._

_Zayn looks between them in confusion, did Harry knew a gangster?_

_Louis's face breaks into a wide smile and he jumps on Harry kissing him. Zayn gaped at the scene playing in front of his eyes. He would call the said 'Louis' insane, he'd tell him to get the hell off Harry, he'd shout and maybe punch Louis in the face, he might even grab Louis' own gun and shoot him in the face if it means he'd stand back._

_But Zayn finds himself freezing on the spot. Because Harry is kissing him back._

_They finally pull away and Zayn puts on a blank expression. He was not going to break now._

_"Oh my god! I can't believe I get to see you again, babe!" Harry doesn't even glance at Zayn while Louis talks and keeps a smile plastered on his face. Zayn pushes a vase of flowers they used to keep to the floor earning their attention._

_"Oh, it slipped and broke" he says nonchalantly, "Just like other stuff" he says more quietly staring at Harry, "What a shame" Harry avoids his gaze and turns to Louis again._

_"This is Zayn, my colleague" Zayn doesn't even force a smile out as Louis nods at him then turns his attention back to Harry._

_"Well, I'll be on my way then. I have some business to take care of. But I promise I'll send someone to fix the damage that happened in your apartment" he leans in to kiss Harry again, "I'll see you soon, babe"_

_They both wait until Louis is out of their apartment then Zayn pushes past Harry quickly, heads to their bedroom, grabs a suitcase and starts filling it with his stuff._

_Harry panics and follows him, "No, Zayn, wait. You don't understand!" he tries to grab Zayn's arm to stop him but Zayn swats it away._

_"I don't understand? You fucking kissed him back!" He yells into Harry's face._

_"He had a gun!" Harry uses force this time to grab both of Zayn's hands, and he knows that his grip is too rough, but he needs Zayn to listen. "Just listen to me" he looks at him with pleading eyes and loosens his grip so Zayn could retreat his own hands._

_"Talk" he spits and Harry sighs._

_"Remember in high-school when you were dating Craig and he took you during the summer holiday to Hawaii?" Zayn used to date some rich people, enjoying his youth. "I had a crush on you back then … A huge one. And I ended up drunk, met Louis and … We might have been dating for a while"_

_Zayn raises his eyebrows, "Dating still?"_

_"No" Harry fights the urge to roll his eyes, "Louis was okay, but I couldn't get you out of my head. And when you broke up with Craig I jumped at the first opportunity I got" he smiled._

_"And the bastard?"_

_Harry's smile widens. He makes a self reminder never to get Zayn jealous again. "I didn't even bother to talk to him, I just left, he never tried to reach me afterwards as well, and life carried on" he starts taking what Zayn put in the suitcase and places them back in the room, closing the suitcase, and Zayn allows him to._

_"Still doesn't explain why you kissed him back!"_

_"There was this one time where someone flirted with me and ended up in a hospital" Harry turned to him, "He didn't have a gun back then. And I don't want to imagine what he'd do if he knew I have a boyfriend"_

_"So you're not going to tell him that I exist? That I'm not your fucking colleague?"_

_Harry sighs and sits next to him on the bed, "Louis is … violent, when it comes to people he cares about" Zayn raises his eyebrows, "We could move out. Go to another country even. I don't care where as long as you'd be safe"_

_Zayn narrows his eyes, "Or we could go to the cops and just have him arrested"_

_"Or that" he says slowly. Zayn inhales deeply and gets up to change into something more comfortable to sleep in. Harry smiles. At least he's not walking out of the door._

_The next day, Zayn heads to the police station and files a report about Louis and the incident that happened yesterday._

_"I'm afraid you're the only one who saw this, son" The officer informs him. What? Was he serious? "You're sure you wasn't dreaming about it?" He is sure as hell! What on earth is going on?_

_"No! I know what I saw!" And right on cue, he sees Louis walking with another officer. "That's the guy!" Zayn points out and the officer turns. Louis stops to look at him and smirks. Zayn frowns._

_"You must be mistaken, son" The officer shakes his head, "This is not a criminal. We know Louis. He is a good guy"_

_Louis approaches them and Zayn stands up, "Have we met?" Zayn narrows his eyes at him, "Right!" Louis snaps his fingers, "You're Harry's colleague … Shane?"_

_"You really want to start this?" Zayn balls his hands into fists._

_"Do you?" Louis retorts, his smirk is still on his face, "It won't be a smart move to start a fight in a police station. You might get to spend the night here for it. Not to mention it'd be put in your record"_

_Zayn glares at him but he knows it's useless to do anything now. It won't be in his favor. And as much as he hates to do his next move, he reluctantly walks away._

_He thought it'd be best if he calmed his nerves so he stayed late at the campus, painting whatever comes to his mind. Harry didn't call him the entire day and he began to worry, so he drove home._

_Zayn opened the door quietly and stepped in, but before he even sits his keys aside he walked towards the bedroom. Standing in the doorway, he didn't gape, didn't glare, didn’t do anything other than stand and stare._

_Louis was on the bed, probably blacked-out, and naked. Harry next to him, naked, but awake, with his eyes wide. Zayn pressed his lips together and nodded then walked away. Harry stumbled quickly to put something on and follow him._

_"Zayn, please" he called after him and Zayn actually stopped and turned._

_"Did he hold a gun to your head and asked you to do it?"_

_Harry looked down, "No"_

_Zayn nodded once, "And you're going to tell me that this was to protect me?"_

_"Zayn-"_

_"He's winning this, and you're allowing him to" Zayn's voice breaks._

_"I swear it didn't mean anything to me-"_

_"But it did to him … and to me" Zayn quickly cuts him off, "Louis might have a gun, but he choose to put it down, while you aimed straight for my heart and pulled the trigger" he shakes his head walking backwards._

_"Zayn, please, don't do this. Baby, I promise it'd end soon. We'll be off to somewhere else-"_

_"And I have to sit down and watch until then?" Zayn raises his voice, "Pretend to be your colleague while he has you?" He quickly wipes the tears that managed to fall on his cheeks, "I'm sorry. I can't" he opens the door but Harry quickly stands in the way._

_"Zayn, I'm begging you. Please, just, please, don't leave me. I can't live without you" He cups Zayn's face, resting his forehead against Zayn's, "Please, I love you. Only you"_

_Zayn takes a deep breath and pulls away when Harry tries to kiss him, pushing Harry to the side so he can leave, Harry still calls his name, begging for him to stay, that he'd find a solution, that he'd buy them tickets to some other countries tonight. But his words don't reach Zayn's brain. He's too heartbroken to listen._

_"Zayn-" Harry's voice is already broken, and tears are escaping freely, but Zayn doesn't look back._

_"I need some time to clear my mind. Just give me that"_

_Harry hugs him tightly from behind, burying his face into Zayn's neck, "Promise me you'll be back"_

_Zayn pushes Harry's arms off him and walks away. He himself doesn't know if he'd be back. He knows he's allowing Louis to win, but he can't do much about it. He had thought about killing him in his sleep, but that would lead him to jail. Plus, Zayn can't really kill someone._

_He gets in his car driving away until he reaches some place that he doesn't even know the name of and parks his car to try to think of something. He'd leave his studies behind, Harry would too, and he has no idea what to tell his family. 'Some maniac loves my boyfriend and he would kill me if he knew, so Harry is fucking him to keep him away. And then we kinda moved to another country so he won't get to us'. Yeah, that's some good explanation._

_Oh, and did he forget to mention? They can't turn him in. And he's probably in a gang that could reach them anywhere they go. Oh! Another thing! He would know about their traveling which would be impossible to even do that. And lastly, he nor Harry can do anything to stop it. Which means that Zayn would be the third wheel. If he is there in the first place._

_Zayn sighs and puts his face between his hands on the steering wheel. He looks up again and yells out of frustration. "Fuck him! Fuck both of them!" he turns the engine on and hits hard on the gas pedal. He doesn't care if he's exceeding the speed limit or that he took a turn into the wrong direction._

_A loud horn makes his head snap up and he hits the breaks fast but it isn't that fast. All he can see is a huge truck coming from his side. He manages to have a last glance at his ring before closing his eyes, accepting his fate._

Soft fingers are brushing through his hair. He knows who they belong to. Niall.

Zayn knows it's just a memory, even if it was true, he never lets it get to him. But he feels a burning sensation in his chest. No wonder he hates Harry as much as he hates Louis.

"You're awake! Finally!" Niall sighs and then the fingers are no longer in his hair. He still turns and sends Niall a glare. He betrayed him.

"I'm still mad at you" he pulls the covers over his face and Niall sighs.

"Agent V asked us not to tell you" he pauses, "But I think you deserve to know" Zayn pushes the covers away and looks at Niall, "Harry isn't on Louis' side. And as much as you hate him" he pauses again, "If Harry was here to hurt you he won't get away with it" Zayn smiles getting up and hugging Niall. He is in need of positive energy right now.

"Harry is giving me mixed feelings to be honest. I don't know if I should trust him or not. I mean, he didn't do anything against us so far. But … I don't know, there is just something behind his whole coming back here. And you. And Louis" Zayn's smile fades and he lets go of Niall.

"I don't know if it's true or not. But, I have seen another dream, and … Harry might be doing what he was still doing all those years ago" Niall gives him a confused look, "Trying to 'protect me' as he would say" Zayn rolls his eyes at his own words.

"What did you see exactly? I wanna hear all of it" Niall turns and crosses his legs. Zayn takes a deep breath and starts talking.

And just when he finishes, the door is flying open, revealing Harry. Zayn glares at him. Niall would understand Harry's position. If anything, the burden is on Harry, both emotionally and physically. And according to what happened from the day of the accident till now. Harry gave up everything just to be here.

"We were all played by Louis"

"No" Zayn fake gasps. "Don't tell me he dumped you" he bats his eyelashes at him.

Harry stares at Zayn for a moment then focuses his attention on Niall, "Louis knows why I am here. Probably even knew everything from the start. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one that caused that accident in the first place"

"Wait. Did he tell you this?"

"He wouldn't know about the ring unless he was watching or something. Louis played this game well. We were all just pawns in his hands"

Zayn laughs loudly making the other two turn to him in confusion. He finally stops and looks back, amused by the whole situation. "What? You actually though that Louis would miss something? That we would know something that he doesn’t? I knew I should've killed him when I got the chance" he shakes his head.

"So, what now?" Niall asks.

"He made us the prey" They all turn to see Agent V at the doorway, closing the door behind her, "He expects us to run away"

"Which we should?" Niall asks slowly. Because if Louis knew all of this, then why aren't they dead right now?

"Louis likes to win. But no matter how many men he could have or how wide areas he could lay his hand on. There is still one thing that he can't put his hands on" She turns her gaze to Harry, "We'll stay" she turns her gaze to Niall. "Have him going out of his mind for a while" her gaze shifts to Zayn who throws an uninterested look, "What? Don't tell me you've given up this round to Louis"

Zayn laughs bitterly, "Honestly, you irritate me as much as he does"

She smirks, "I'm glad there is someone to push at your buttons here then"

Zayn scoffs, "Don't flatter yourself" She turns with a nod then she's out of the door.

Zayn sighs getting up, "So we're one team now or you'll be heading back?" Niall asks.

"What's the point if he already knows?" Harry shrugs.

"All I know is that you're not staying here" Zayn says loudly, and it's meant for none other than Harry. "I still hate you. Nothing's changed. Wait, no. I hate you even more. So, no. You're not welcomed here" he walks towards Harry until he's close enough, "To me you're still nothing but Louis' slut" he spits and leaves for the bathroom. "I expect you to be gone when I'm out"

Harry sighs pushing his hair back. "He'd get used to you" Niall waves a dismissive hand, "You must know … he's moody" Harry smiles and shakes his head. Zayn is just blocking his emotions, he knows, Zayn won't let it appear on his face. And he knows, that behind that bathroom door as he turns his head towards it and his smile falls, Zayn is inside, probably on the floor, with his knees bent and his face between his arms on them.

Zayn rests his head on the bathroom door and stares into nothing in particular. Just too many thoughts invading his mind. Louis planned this all along. And he isn't the only victim here. Harry is suffering. The whole Paige group suffered. Too many people died because Louis was a selfish bastard that couldn't accept the fact that the person he loves is in love with someone else.

It's sad. Just sad. How he can have such a twisted mind and plan all of this.

But Zayn needs to make a decision. Now that he puts the pieces together, they're indeed losing to Louis in his own game. He hates losing. He'd lost enough to Louis. And he doesn't plan to lose more. He gets up pushing the bathroom door open.

"I still have a messy memory. And I might not be the best inside this room. But I'm willing to fight" he then turns to Harry specifically, "I can't say that I know you, nor that I can promise you that I might have feelings for you even if I had my memory back, which I'm not sure I would any time soon"

Harry smiles, "It's fine. As long as you're willing to give me another chance to maybe prove myself to you? We could always make new memories" Harry offers and Niall grins from his place on the bed.

"Should I leave?" Niall whispers. Zayn shoots him a playful glare and crosses his arms over his chest.

"None of us is leaving" he smiles to himself, "I'm done running away"

▶⚫◀

That night Harry doesn't return to Louis. He stays where the other remaining three are. He took the ring with him, and he knows Zayn wouldn't take it back. Not now, he tells himself, but soon enough.

His phone vibrates and he knows it's Louis. But he also knows that they would have this talk sooner or later anyway so he picks up.

_"You're doing a mistake, Harry"_

Harry sighs, "Actually, it's the first time I'm doing the right thing in the last couple of years"

_"You think that staying with them would get all of you to safety?"_

"I'm willing to take the risk"

 _"For yourself? Or for him?"_ Harry stays quiet for a moment, _"I'm doing this for your own good. Return, Harry"_

"I'm not coming back to you. And don't even think about touching a single hair out of Zayn-"

 _"You think this is about him?"_ Louis cuts him off, _"You never stopped yourself to think for a moment that maybe I'm doing this for you?"_

Harry's brows come together, "Stop this game, Louis"

_"You really think you have no enemies around … Dr. Styles?"_

"Why would I?"

_"You're very naïve. It's one of the reasons I brought you here, you know. I'm not an idiot. I know a threat when I see it"_

Harry shuts his eyes, "You're just saying that for me to come back to you"

 _"You'd be remembering this conversation when you stare at Zayn's dead body"_ Louis hangs up.

Harry stares at his phone for a couple of minutes afterwards. Louis is the bad guy here. He couldn't be the one protecting him, he basically ruined his life.

Right?

▶⚫◀

_I’ve been on my own praying like a sinner_


	8. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｓｅｖｅｎ

_You planned my life so carefully, sculpted me like clay_

▶⚫◀

Harry remembers the first time he ever saw Zayn. Sitting at his backyard, surrounded by kittens, ten at least, with the youngest in his arms feeding it himself, and the smile never leaving his face as he coos over them. He remembers him going out everyday to check on them, along with his sisters, because their parents apparently didn't want them inside the house. They were too many of them.

He'd occasionally see him walking his youngest sister to her school, or walking across the street to greet their old neighbor. He'd even bring her flowers sometimes, making her smile. Other times he'd be with the oldest of his sisters, the one he's mostly with, maybe because the age gap isn't that big. But Harry was used to watch, didn't even go out to greet him or to have a small talk.

He also remembers that one time Zayn wore a crop-top and was skating along with his friends. Harry was passing by and Zayn caught him staring, dragged his eyes over Harry's body once then one of his friends whispered something in his ear that made him laugh and turn away. It wasn't genuine though.

He met him again in high-school. But Zayn wasn't the same. Not inside the school's walls or whenever he was with his friends. He had a _bad-boy persona_ , had the looks for it, and the attitude. But Harry could tell, from how different he'd seem to act, that it was just that. _An act_. Not the same Zayn with his sisters that he'd see everyday.

Zayn ignored him at first, even when they shared classes. He was always with his group of friends, _if_ he'd call them friends anyway. Then at one day, when Zayn knew that Harry lived nearby and used to see him everyday, he opened up to him and considered him as a friend. Harry was even welcomed to get inside the Malik's household.

Harry knew Zayn would occasionally go to clubs with his 'crew' but never invited Harry along. And Harry found out later after the reason why. The drunken nights he'd stay at someone else's house, or he'd be too high on drugs not to see straight. Had even seen one time when someone was tagging with Zayn and saw Harry around, he'd whispered something into his ear that got Zayn on his lap and his hand inside Zayn's pants, then they got up getting some privacy. Harry didn't want to see it, but Zayn saw him too and turned away.

There was this one night that Zayn was at his door looking shyly at him behind his lashes, embarrassed even. He was still sober but the smell of weed was strong.

_"I can't go home like this" Harry sighed and steeped aside to allow him in. Zayn flopped on the sofa pleading him to call his parents and tell them that he's staying the night here. His parents liked Harry a lot, and they wouldn't mind._

_"You should stop" Harry spoke up as he took a seat next to Zayn. "They're going to know one day eventually"_

_"You'd rat me out?" Zayn turned to look at him, and he should know that Harry wouldn't do that to him. He sighed and closed his eyes, "I'll try" he mumbled before sleep took over him._

Zayn kept to his words, he tried. Snatched himself away from his group, and Harry could even see how his attitude changed slightly, revealing more of 'him' other than the pretended persona.

Harry could also remember that one night he asked Harry to inform his parents that he's staying at his, but didn't, and begged Harry to just let him go this time. It wasn't for drugs or sex. But Harry knew later that his sister came home crying, heartbroken, and Zayn knew the guy. He dragged the guy out of his group _seductively_ , and once they were far enough, Zayn kept punching and kicking him until the rest of the group was coming after him, but luckily, Harry was there, and managed to drag him away.

Harry didn't know when it went down, or did it ever change, but the next thing he knew, Zayn was off with some rich bloke to Hawaii. He didn't even know why Zayn would date someone like him, he didn't seem that interested in the guy, but went along anyway. It was their last year, and when Zayn distanced himself, he knew better than to expect something good. He was back to partying hard, drinking and drugs. Harry was not sure if he's still on the flings thing, but hoped not.

It was different from Zayn's prospective though. The first time he got to see Harry was in high-school. He seemed like a good kid, and Zayn didn't want to ruin that. But Harry kept pushing, and he eventually gave up and opened up to him.

He did enjoy Harry's company. He wasn't a nerd, far from it. And brought Harry to meet his family. They liked him, more than his other friends. His father even told him once to try to keep him, that he's a good guy. But that's exactly the reason why Zayn didn't want to keep Harry around. Because he was _good_ , and Zayn was the complete opposite.

He's not sure himself when he got in this mess and why, but he did, and he enjoyed it. It was driving him away from reality, the shit he is doing, and there wasn't anyone around to ground him, other than the guilt that he feels when he's home. But he was one of the bad guys around, and he knew who was like him, and it made him able to protect his sisters if anything goes wrong.

By their last year, he'd find himself staring too much at Harry. And that's when he decided that _this_ needed to end, or he'd drag Harry to the depths of hell. He was slowly back to his older-self. And Harry didn't even know about half of the things he used to do. Some guy offered to take him to Hawaii, and he found himself agreeing. But before their little vacation was over, he found himself booking a ticket back home.

Zayn remembers, that memory came flashing behind his eyes, the day he didn't even tell anyone but his family that he's coming back. It was still the summer holiday.

_He finds Harry sitting on the stairs, busy typing something on his phone. The park was nearly empty, with only a few people around. Harry looks up when he senses someone standing in front of him and Zayn smiles widely. Harry blinks at him, he wasn't expecting Zayn to be back by now but he is._

_"You're back early" He soon regrets it though, because Zayn's smile is fading, and he was probably expecting a warmer greeting._

_Zayn shrugs and sits next to him, there is a pause, and Harry was about to ask what's wrong but Zayn sighs and opens his mouth to speak, "My father heard some rumors … About me. He wasn't that much happy about it. Yelled at me a bit, said I was a waste of a son"_

_"You're not" Harry frowns._

_"I'm not blaming him, all that he heard was true" Zayn chuckles but it's a bitter one, "My sisters still believe I'm not the guy they heard about, and my mom doesn't say it, but I know she's disappointed too" Harry wants to say something, that Zayn isn't that bad, but Zayn is cutting his thoughts short when he speaks again, "Still got this scholarship thing. My dad thinks it's a good thing that I'm going with someone that isn't … like me"_

_"You're applying for the same collage?" Harry decides to ask that instead of digging more into Zayn's personal affairs and earns a nod in return. Just a nod. But he isn't sure if it's about the collage thing or the other._

_But Zayn shakes his head and turns so he has one leg under his other thigh, his hands are resting on it as he smiles mischievously, "So, any flings over the summer? Anyone I have to meet?"_

_"What happened to yours?" Harry cocks an eyebrow._

_"Wasn't my type" Zayn shrugs._

_"And what is exactly your type?"_

_Harry could swear Zayn's eyes roam over his body for a second but then he's shaking his head, "You're avoiding my question" he slaps Harry's arm._

_"Nothing worth the mention" Harry shrugs. He wasn't going to tell him about Louis, he can't even think about Louis when Zayn is sitting next to him, looking up at him with his beautiful eyes._

_"Liar" Zayn drags the word out and crosses his arms, "When are you going to tell me about your hook-ups? You're too hot to be turned down" Zayn wouldn't admit it, but Harry grew up, he's much taller now and well-built with a deep voice. And well … His personality is still as charming._

_Harry chuckles, "Looks isn't everything, but yeah, I do get turned down"_

_Zayn sighs, "He or she?" he presses to know who was his fling during the time he wasn't around, and he wants to know. Something itches inside of him._

_"He" Harry rolls his eyes, he knows Zayn isn't going to drop it, because he doesn't want to talk about his life right now, and Harry learned over the years that Zayn does it to distract himself from his own life._

_Zayn hums, "How did he look like?"_

_"It doesn't matter-"_

_"It does" Zayn quickly cuts him off, "It'd tell me exactly who's your type. Now spit it out" Zayn leans in closer, looking up at Harry with big interested eyes._

_"My type?" Zayn nods. Harry would lie, could say he loves blondes, perhaps a girl even, but he doesn't. "Someone who's … cute"_

_Zayn chuckles, "And what's your definition of … cute?" he mimics._

_"Someone who is … maybe shorter than me, with a narrow waist and big eyes. Don't care about the color, people can change that." Zayn blinks and leans back. "But that's just the looks, it's not permanent anyway. I care more about what's inside" Harry knows Zayn is attractive, but he also know that he has a good heart. Just needs someone to take his hand and lead him to a different route than the one he's in, "You?"_

_"Me?" Zayn looks back with wide eyes but Harry rephrases his question._

_"What's your type?"_

_"Oh" Zayn shifts his gaze to his leg and starts playing with a loose string. He'd be blind if he didn't notice already. Zayn knows, from their first year, but he didn't act on it, neither did Harry. And they were fine._

_Well, not fine. But neither talked about it out loud, even if Harry's eyes were giving away everything, Zayn would choose to ignore the hints he drops._

_"I think I can find someone … in collage. You know? Start a new life and all. I don't really have a type" Harry raises his eyebrows at that and Zayn rolls his eyes. Of course Harry had seen who exactly he'd go after, "Okay, fine. I do have a type. But like you said, looks can change. And all I want is someone that … hadn't seen my past"_

_"Wouldn't it be better if you have someone who'd seen your worst shit and choose to stay than someone who might leave you if they know?"_

_Zayn looks up at that, and he knows Harry is hinting for the millionth time already, but Harry hasn't seen his worst shit. Sure, he'd seen plenty and stayed, been there through his down turns, but Zayn doesn't trust himself to carry on. He needs someone to ground him, and Harry is perfect … But he's not._

_"No one would stay once he sees all my shit" And then he quickly adds before Harry could say 'I did' because he knows he would, "You haven't seen my worst shit, Harry"_

_"So?" Harry turns so he's fully facing Zayn, "You said you wanted to start a new life. Leave your past behind. It doesn't have to mean that you'd forget about it, but you can move on"_

_Zayn mentally groans. Why does Harry have to make it harder on him? He still smiles weakly tilting his head, "You'd hold me down?"_

_Harry smiles as well, "If you let me"_

_Zayn bites his lip and stare at Harry whose gaze follow Zayn's lips as well, and Zayn can't take it anymore, he reaches for Harry, cupping his face and attaching his lips to Harry's. He is technically in Harry's lap and Harry's arms wrap around him tugging him closer._

_Zayn doesn't know how long they stayed like this, with his hands trapped in Harry's hair, and Harry's hands stroking at his skin under his shirt at his sides. But they finally pull away leaning on each other, and his hands fall to Harry's shoulders._

_"Are you sure you want this?" He still asks though._

_"We've just kissed and you're asking me that?" Zayn bites his lip so Harry reaches and pulls it away, sucking at it and kissing Zayn again. "Stop biting your lips"_

_Zayn laughs, a genuine one that makes his eyes crinkle, and leans back so he's off Harry's lap. Harry's hands fall to his knees. Zayn licks his lips looking up at Harry again and he can see something flashes in his eyes because he bites his lip again making Harry shake his head and reach forward to catch his lips with his own one more time, biting at Zayn's lip harder making him gasp slightly._

_"You're going to kiss me each time I bite my lips?"_

_"You're a tease. Could've just asked me to kiss you"_

_Zayn hums, "But it's more fun that way"_

It's probably the first time that Zayn wakes up with more just a memory. He wakes up with feelings too.

▶⚫◀

Agent V was never the one to flinch whatever the situation she's put in. So she definitely doesn't even blink when a gun is pointed at her head. It might have put the slightest pressure if it wasn't one of her agents.

"You fucked this up!" Louis yells at her, "This was not what we had agreed on!"

"What did we agree on, agent Tomlinson?" She retorts, "You wiping the entire Paige organization, or you killing us in the process?"

Louis grits his teeth, "You broke the deal first"

"I did what's necessary for the greater good. Your feelings doesn't concern me"

Louis exhales sharply, "Your services are no longer needed" he's about to pull the trigger when he feels another gun being pointed at his head from behind.

"Drop it" Zayn says calmly. Louis does so and turns to Zayn. "You're unwelcomed here"

"Look who finally got some nerves" Louis smirks, and in a swift move, he bends Zayn's arm and his gun falls to the ground, shooting V once he gets a clear vision. He curses as she avoids it, reaching for her own gun.

Louis knows he's not better than her, and two against one wouldn't be in his favor. He quickly hides in a corner. "My men are here. You can kill me, but you'd be killed afterwards!" He shouts.

Zayn stands up, his own gun is back at his hands. V nods at Louis, "I'll go get Niall" she mouths at him and she doesn't need to say 'and Harry' because Louis would never harm him. She moves through the backdoor and Zayn points his gun towards where Louis is.

"It's over, Louis. You lost this" Zayn calls and once Louis senses V out of the room he bends down shooting at Zayn's injured leg. Zayn misses by a second late, and he ends up shooting the wall behind Louis. He still has his gun though and manages a second shot that hits Louis' arm.

Louis curses loudly and grabs his gun with his other hand, moving fast out of Zayn's reach. They both stick to their places, Zayn can't move because of his leg, and Louis can't show up in order not to give Zayn another chance to shoot him.

"You know, you're pathetic" Zayn laughs at him, "Should've accepted the truth and walked away"

"You think this is still about your pathetic life?" Louis retorts, "You'd never see the bigger picture. You're nothing but a selfish asshole" he spits.

"Me? A selfish asshole? Oh, look who's talking! The one who basically is the cause of why we're here!" Zayn raises his voice, "If it wasn't for you, I'd be perfectly living my life now! But no … you had to fucking show up!"

"For the last time, this isn't about your pathetic life!"

"So it's about _your_ pathetic life?"

Louis takes a deep breath, "I'm doing this for Harry" he says more calmly making Zayn snort.

"Harry was fine. _We_ were fine"

"Oh? So you have your memory now?" Louis yells, "You were far from fine. I was there to witness your shit … You don't deserve him"

"He saw … And stayed" Zayn smiles, because even now, Harry came back. Even when he'd lost his memory, Harry is trying. And he didn't even notice that his feelings are surfacing until now.

"He saw?" Louis echoes, "Did you tell him about your first year at college? Or do I need to remind you of that?"

Zayn frowns. His first year of college?

_They had separated dorms. They'd still see each other, but it was the same like before, and Harry got so busy with his studies, and even extra ones while Zayn had a wild roommate that dragged him down the old route again._

_He'd still go out with Harry, have late night conversations, or have the room to themselves. But that didn't happen much, and he found himself lying to Harry about his lectures and studies and go out with his roommate instead. He wasn't into him, he wasn't into anyone other than Harry but this college wasn't exactly his choice and he didn't like it, so at the very first chance he got to have fun, he took it._

_It was a drunken mistake. He got to know a group of people that used to have parties all the time, and he got so drunk he didn't realize he was dancing on a pole, and then was dragged to a room by someone he doesn't even know the name of, and had sex._

_He convinced himself that this was just a one-time thing, and won't happen again. He didn't tell Harry. But it happened again, and he found himself too ashamed to even talk to Harry about anything so he slowly drifted away, telling him more lies, that he needs more time to study and such or that he'd have an extra class._

_He found himself going to a specific club very often. A strip club to be precise. And soon after, he was joining the stage, taking random people who'd pay for a shag._

_Zayn wasn't exactly an idiot when it comes to studying. He did earn a scholarship. He'd wrap the book they're supposed to read in a week before the exams. It didn't get him very high marks, but he was passing, and that's all he cared about._

_But Harry noticed. He knew something was wrong, that Zayn was closing on himself again, and tried having more time for him, trying to get him to talk. Zayn would stay for a cuddle, even saw him once or twice shedding silent tears when he was in his arms, when he thought Harry was asleep. Was even hesitant when Harry would push him down on the bed._

"Can't believe you didn't have STDs" Louis shakes his head while Zayn puts his own between his hands. God, his head hurts. "You didn't even care if you accidently got them and transferred them to Harry!"

It's true. Zayn was too fucked up. He didn't think about what he's doing. But he also remembers what happened afterwards. How Harry came to him one night and suggested they rent a flat outside the campus. A place they could be together, on their own, and that they could keep each other close, and Zayn agreed. They found jobs and managed to pay the rent.

_Zayn remembers when they first walked into the apartment. It was nice, with a single bedroom, a small one, but they don't need the extra unnecessary space. He still remembers when he wanted to back away, to leave Harry. That he'd be better off without someone like Zayn._

_But Harry held his hands in his own and smiled softly at him, his eyes are carrying too much emotions in them that made Zayn doubt if Harry knows or not about his dirty deeds. He wanted to end this before it's too late. Before he breaks Harry's heart in any way. But he couldn’t. Harry was the only remaining thing that kept him grounded. Harry promised he'd do that for him. And he already drowned so deep in love with Harry that he can't back down._

_"Would you start a new page with me?" He hasn't realized he's started crying, but he's so desperate. Harry is the light at the end of the dark tunnel he's at. He needs him._

_Harry frowns and wipes his tears, his hands staying at the beginning of his neck and his thumb is brushing softly at his cheekbones. There are lots of questions sitting at the tip of his tongue but he doesn't need to voice them. Not that Zayn would answer them anyway._

_"Please" Zayn begs again, and Harry doesn't know what exactly went wrong but he can't stand Zayn's tears._

_"Sure" he answers softly, and Zayn kisses him hard. Harry holds him there, kisses him back, until Zayn is satisfied and he pulls away slightly, still panting against his lips._

_"I love you"_

_Harry smiles, "I love you too"_

Zayn remembers how their life changed from then. He cut off completely his previous relationships, and they were happy. Harry still doesn't know what happened, but Zayn figured that since he dropped his past and moved on, it doesn't matter.

"It was the first year, yeah. But we moved on. I stopped doing these stuff after we moved out together" he still doesn't know how Louis managed to know all of this, makes him creepy as fuck. But he knows, for the first time he's sure of one thing. "I love Harry"

Louis stays quiet for a moment, "Then we're on the same page" he slowly gets out once he notices Zayn isn’t pointing the gun at him anymore. Zayn looks up, too tired to grab his gun again and shoot Louis, and he's glad when Louis sits in front of him and doesn't shoot him, "You'd hear me out then"

▶⚫◀

_You see it's dignity and privacy that sets us apart_


	9. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｅｉｇｈｔ

_I gave it everything, everything. But we still lost the way_

▶⚫◀

Louis' words are spinning around his head, and it's too much honestly. He wishes he could just go out and get drunk or high or whatever that will make it stop. But he can't. And that's why he's stuck with Harry inside the small apartment.

The daylight is shining through the room, which is another reminder that he just woke up, and he doesn't want to sleep again. Just wants to rest his head for a while, but the day is still long, and he groans loudly hitting his head into the window's glass.

Harry looks up from his book –Zayn doesn't really know what he's reading about, and he isn't interested either. So he doesn't ask– and sends him a worried look.

"Does it hurt again?" It does, for other reasons. And Harry's probably going to suggest he takes a pill. But pills are like drugs, they should work if he took some. And by some, he means seven or more pills. But the problem is that Harry is here with him, and he won't allow him to take more than one.

So Zayn closes his eyes and inhales deeply, "Not really" He opens his eyes with his next exhale and stares. There's a girl standing there, with long black hair, and a very familiar face. It might have been quite a long time, but Zayn can't mistake that face for another.

_She's his sister._

There's a blond guy next to her, both smiling, then they kissed. Wait, when did his sister start dating someone without his approval? No, what on earth is she doing here? It's not the safest place around.

"What did you tell my family after the accident?" He doesn't get an immediate answer so he turns to face Harry. He tries to keep his face composed.

Harry avoids his gaze, "Well, um …" he clears his throat, "I had a report sent to them that … we both died in that accident, and that our bodies were … weren't exactly in a perfect condition. So two jars of ashes were delivered too"

Zayn stares at him for a minute then shouts, "You told my family I was dead?!"

"I didn't want to give Louis another thing to pull it against us" Harry raises his voice and properly meets his eyes, "I didn't want them to come here, you know why" his voice quietens at the end.

Zayn has to take another deep breath. Harry is right. His family shouldn't be here. He turns to look again at the window, and he sees that the pair started walking. He quickly pulls on his jacket, "If I ever died-" he goes for the door but looks back at Harry before he's gone, "Don't burn my body" Then he slams the door.

Harry doesn't go after him. And Zayn knows he won't. But he also knows that this isn't the plan that Louis told him. On the other side, his sister is there, on the streets of a not-so-safe city. He has priorities.

▶⚫◀

His phones doesn't stop buzzing. There are missed calls from Louis, along with some messages. And he doesn't need to open them to know their content. He does however get rid of Louis' men if they bothered him so much during his stalking.

It's not a first. Zayn does what he has to do to make sure his family is safe. And he doesn't trust the blond guy even if he looks sweet. Looks, words, and actions can all be just an ugly mask that is waiting to be pulled off. And Zayn won't allow it if his sister shows up again with tears in her eyes, because some dork broke her heart.

He follows them to a club, and fights the urge to go there and pull his sister away even though she's only two years younger than him, and basically is allowed to get inside. He just has bad memories that he could be repeating, he doesn't mind. But not his sister.

Someone drags him to the side once he's inside and soon, a punch is delivered to his face.

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" he shouts.

"The fuck is wrong with _you?!_ We had a deal!" Louis shouts back. Zayn's eyes try to find his sister again in the crowd, "We're leaving" Louis announces but Zayn pushes him away.

"You're leaving" Louis grabs him again, and Zayn realizes now that he was in a haste that he didn't bring his gun with him. Fuck. Not even a pocket knife.

"Do you want me to remind you again of what's on the line?" Louis hisses in his ear. And Zayn remembers but he also has eyes, and what he sees is his sister and her 'supposed to be' boyfriend taking some pills. _When did his sister start doing drugs?!_

He pushes Louis again harder but then a bullet is being shot in his already injured leg. He curses loudly.

"I didn't want to do this, but if you're willing to take that route, then I'm glad to take you back the hard way" Louis gestures for two other men to hold Zayn. He's fine with beating Zayn up till he passes out. As long as he's still alive.

Their little scene attracts audience, and Louis nods to the manager once he comes to see what's wrong. Clearly, he knows him, and let it slide.

But one of the audience happens to be a certain black-haired girl, and she quickly kneels in front of Zayn. Her eyes are wide, her hands are slowly going up to reach his face, and she looks in shock. There are other emotions there that Zayn wishes they weren't there in the first place. But it's bad. He was going to follow her without her acknowledging his existence. But now that Louis interfered, things are not the same.

In Zayn's mind. Louis' presence always ruin things. And he seems to prove it daily. _Perfect_.

"Zayn?" She barely whispers, but her soft voice reaches his ears clearly, and he doesn't know if he should hug her or just deny the fact that it is him. He didn't realize he missed his family so much up till now. It hurts.

But soon, Louis' men are taking him away, and his sister is slowly disappearing out of his sight.

"No, no, no" he mumbles, "Wait! Louis, wait! Please!"

Louis turns to him once they got to the car and just stares with an annoyed expression. He shouldn't be here if Zayn did what he was told. "She's your sister, I know. And I don't care"

Zayn pauses. It's his sister. And he doesn't give a fuck about Louis. And it happened so fast. How he managed to slip out of the men's hold and grab one of their guns, shooting both. Louis ducked down, but Zayn isn't staying behind.

He doesn't even know how he managed to walk with a bullet in his leg, but he did, and he guesses it was the adrenaline. But he goes back to the club, and pulls his sister away.

What Louis also didn't notice while he made a run after Zayn, is that he left the car keys inside the car. And while he walks inside the club to search for Zayn in the crowd, Zayn and his sister manages to get outside, and then inside the car. She drove, and Zayn didn't even ask where they were headed as long as it's far from here.

There's silence between them until they park in front of a building and she finally turns to him.

"You're going to talk to me now?"

Zayn turns his head and stares at her. She's grown up so much. He smiles, extending his arm so his hands could brush over her face. His leg doesn't go neglected, but he doesn't care about the physical pain right now.

"You look so beautiful" She blushes then laughs quietly. But his face turns into something more serious, "Why were you taking drugs?"

She stops and looks back at him, "It's just one pill-"

"One would lead to another and another and another until you can't stop" he pauses and she sighs, "I've taken that road before. Not that good"

"I should get you to a hospital" she glances at his leg but he dismisses it. They argue for a while until she drops it.

"So how are you? And the girls? And our parents?"

She smiles, "We're doing fine. I'm actually applying for a university here. I'm majoring in Business Administration" He smiles at that too. But then both their smiles fade. "My mom still keeps your room the same, even cleaning and tidying it daily" a tear escapes from her eye, "She would go there in the nights that she thinks we're asleep, but we actually weren't"

She looks up with a smile through her tears, "Me and the girls would sneak up at night to sleep in your room. Makes us feel you were there, like all those times one of us had a nightmare and had to crawl up to your bed"

Zayn looks down, it's too much, and he's about to cry himself, "Why?" The question brings his eyes up, "Why did you leave? Why did you fake your death?" she's full on crying now and Zayn has to take her in his arms to calm her down.

"I'm sorry" he repeats. As if the word could possibly mend what's been shattered, "I myself had no idea, I swear" he cries as well. Both are holding on tightly to each other. And they both missed it, the presence of the other by their side.

"Would you come back?" She asks quietly once they've calmed down.

"I wish I could"

"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" She chuckles, although it's not funny. They know it isn't. It's a bit forced, and Zayn sighs.

"A big mess" he smiles bitterly glancing at his leg. She got him some stuff, and he managed to pull the bullet out –he was used to it by now– then bandaging his leg, _again_. "You shouldn't be here, it's not a safe place. Especially not after what all of this happened"

She leans back and sighs as well, "Yeah" then she tilts her head, "If you're alive … Is Harry alive too?" Zayn nods, "Can I meet him too?" Zayn purses his lips together. "I don't think that would be a good idea"

She keeps quiet after that. By now she got it, that whatever mess they're in is a big one. She doesn't ask further questions because she knows that Zayn wouldn't answer her. But she also knows he's doing it for her own good.

"Will we see you again?" she glances at his leg again, "Alive?"

Zayn hugs her again, giving her a kiss on the top of her head, "Promise"

▶⚫◀

They depart. And he returns to the same flat he shares with the others, but not without another fight with Louis that gets his body in a worse condition. Harry doesn't talk about it. He did ask, but Zayn didn't answer so he kept quiet as he focused on healing Zayn's injuries.

Zayn managed to exchange numbers with his sister, to make sure she'd leave this city safely. Or to randomly text to just get some stuff off their chests.

Niall notices and teases him about it. He didn't know though who he's texting.

Harry notices too, and worries a bit.

V notices but chose to ignore it.

It isn't until he receives a call from his sister at midnight that he gets up and leaves the apartment quietly so no one would know who he's talking to.

"Hey" he says softly with a smile.

"Hello" He frowns when he hears an unfamiliar voice. Maybe her boyfriend that she mentioned. "I believe you're Zayn?"

"Yes" he answers slowly.

"Well, I'm afraid that you need to come here if you want to see your sister alive" Zayn starts to panic, "And bring Dr. Styles with you" the caller hangs up and Zayn stays in his position for a minute before hurrying back to the apartment.

On his way he stumbles into Louis who yells at him and throws a few punches at him.

"I fucking warned you! Now you got him in the mess that I was trying hard not to!"

"I would never pick any one above my family!" Zayn yells back. Well, Harry is also considered family. He is very close to him, and matters too much as well. But he just couldn't. It was his sister.

Niall and V got out once they hear the yelling. Louis quickly turns to stare between them, "Where's Harry?"

Niall frowns and turns to V. "Left, apparently"

Louis curses and stands up. Niall helps Zayn to stand up as well as Louis makes his way downstairs. But Louis isn't the only one who has someone important to him gone. Hell, he has two people now.

V stops Niall when he tries to follow Zayn. "It's their business. We better not get involved"

▶⚫◀

Zayn follows Louis downstairs, and to their luck, Harry is still out of his car. Louis shouts again but Harry's face stays composed.

"You're really walking towards this?"

But Harry ignores him getting inside the car. Zayn might be limping with his injury but he manages to get to the car as well pushing Louis to the side so he gets inside. Harry pauses to look at him.

"She's my sister. I'm going and you can't stop me" He eventually turns to Harry who sighs.

"You're not in a good condition"

"You think I won't follow you with another car?" Harry presses his lips together, and he looks unpleased but he turns away turning the engine on.

Louis gets in the backseat and crosses his arms, "I hate you" he glares at Zayn who rolls his eyes.

"Trust me, it's mutual" he mumbles.

They reach the destination in silence, and they walk towards the building carefully.

"Why are you doing this?" Zayn asks quietly.

"She's also someone important to me" Zayn looks down. They're reaching Harry because of him, and Louis could blame him all he wants. He hates himself.

"Thank you" he whispers but Harry doesn't answer. Probably didn't hear it, and Zayn should've said it louder.

Blood on the floor that belongs to the blond guy and his sister unconscious isn't the scene he was expecting as he tries to run towards her. He falls to his knees picking her up in her arms and checking for a pulse.

"I'm glad you could make it, Dr. Styles" one of the men that were inside the apartment starts and all three of them turn to him. Louis grits his teeth, Zayn glares at him. Harry's eyes widen.

"Dr. Evans"

Evans smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "We meet again"

"What do you want?" Harry asks quickly.

"I think you know what I want" his smile falls and now his face shows much hatred towards Harry. Zayn doesn't know the guy, doesn't seem familiar at all.

"After you left" Louis says to him. Makes sense.

"You shut down the project knowing very well the consequences. Because of you … My daughter died!" Evans shouted and Harry's frozen to his spot.

It was after Zayn disappeared to join Paige, he tried to track him and had to give up on the project in order to focus on one task. He didn't know this new information. He didn't want anyone to be harmed. But now because of his actions … someone died.

He's not proud of how he turned out to be, but he did it for personal reasons. Which makes the situation worse. He placed his own self above the life of another. He used to tell himself that he's probably saving another life. _Zayn's_.

"Now it's time for you to pay for your mistakes" he hands him a syringe with liquid in it.

Louis' eyes widen, "Do this and I'd kill all of you!"

Evans doesn't seem to be fazed by it and turns to Louis, "You won't, you wanna know why?" Louis' jaw clench, "Because you care about Harry. And as long as he's breathing, you'd stick to his side" he then turns to Harry, "If you didn't inject this into your body, another would" he trails his gaze to fall on Zayn and Harry doesn't need to look to know who.

Zayn's eyes go wide as Harry brings the syringe close to his arm, "Harry, NO!" but Harry doesn't stop, so he rests his sister to lean on Louis instead and tries to get to him.

Two men grab him and Evans turn to him, "Don't worry. He won't die" then he smirks, "Not now anyway" Zayn tries to fight but his injured leg isn't helping him too much. Louis was right. He should've stayed home.

Harry hisses as he pulls the syringe out once he's finished and looks up at Evans.

"Satisfied?"

"Oh, no. Not yet" he claps his hands together, "The same virus that my daughter had is now inside that little girl"

Zayn and Harry's eyes go wide simultaneously and they both gape. Zayn falls to the ground while Harry balls his hands into fists.

"This is about me! Why would you do that to her?!" he shouts but Evans stays calm.

"Because you need to suffer" he steps closer to Harry, "All those years I had to see my daughter suffering and now it's your turn. I know you're a good doctor. One of the best. But you see … The one that you injected yourself with isn't the same. It's yet another virus that we couldn’t find a cure for"

Harry stares. Because he can't do more, "It'll be either you work on a cure for yourself, or for her. But don't worry. I'll provide you a lab to work in, while you-" he turns to Louis, "Would be responsible to get us covered, since you have now the upper hand in this city" they he chuckles, "I mean … close to that. You see, I don't want to get my own hands dirty"

"What's your gain from all of this?"

"A virus suddenly spreading without a cure … How much are people willing to pay for that?"

"So you want money? You could've asked for it. I could-"

"No, no, no. You see, I used to be the best around. Until some student could overcome me" he turns to Harry, "I want my reputation back"

"You're pathetic" Louis spits at him.

"Call me what you want. But soon, I'll be without a competition" He smirks at Harry. He'd be out of the way once he's dead. And there's no way Harry would find a cure to both viruses in time.

"You know where to find me" with that the men leave.

Zayn finally manages to stand on his feet again. And it's all downing on him. He isn't the one with the pressure. He isn't the one dying. But the pain in his chest is present as he walks towards Harry locking his arms around Harry's neck bringing the latter's head to rest on his shoulder.

It's not enough, it doesn't do anything. But he can at least comfort Harry. "It'll be alright" he whispers into Harry's ear as his hand strokes Harry's back gently, the other brush through Harry's hair as Harry closes his eyes and brings his hands up to rest around Zayn's waist, hugging him closer to himself.

And Zayn doesn't know if his next words are meant for Harry or himself but he repeats them anyway. Maybe it's for both of them

"It'll be alright"

▶⚫◀

_I can't keep living on repeat. I'm a broken record_


	10. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｎｉｎｅ

_I know if I'm haunting you, you must be haunting me_

▶⚫◀

Everyone is born innocent. It's just the environment they live in that determines what they'll become.

Louis wasn't the same. Probably things would've changed if he lived in another country, with different people. But life doesn't work that way, and you can't change your fate. And that's exactly what Louis have put in mind since day one.

He never knew his mother, just lived with his father and a younger brother who soon died of a drug overdose. When he was younger, he could remember his father coming home each night drunk, and the house would be filled with empty bottles everywhere, and that's what his money was spent on. He despised him. Sometimes he'd hear unpleasant words, other times it'd be a few punches and kicks, and there were the night he'd spend on the streets.

He could also remember that one boy who used to bring him food when he passes by, offered a blanket, but never spoke to him. And Louis would always have his hoodie on, and his head ducked down so the boy won't know who he is.

Not soon after his father died in a street fight with a dealer that he had the house to himself. The dealer was caught and was put in prison, but Louis didn't care. Not a single tear was shed.

He'd occasionally pass by the same spot from before, see the boy, and he decided to go thank him for what he'd done. He won't admit he had a small crush on him though. But the problem is, that whenever he'd see the boy, there would be someone else with him.

But Louis had his share of knowledge of who is good and who is bad by now. And that other kid was not the best kind around. He'd see him getting high, drunk or dragged into someone else's house. Seen the amount of money he'd gather at night by ruining others' life. Seen his cold attitude and fights with people just because he felt like it. And most importantly, seen how he could easily change faces when he's around that one person in particular.

In Louis' mind, the dark persona was his true self, and he was probably playing around with his other side. Louis didn't know his intentions, but hated him nonetheless … He probably ignited jealousy inside of him too, because his little crush was growing despite the fact that he was aiming for something he couldn't have.

That's why he kept watching from afar. How one day they'd be laughing so brightly, or another where they'd just sit on the ground, with one head over the shoulder of the other, earphones tucked in, with nothing but the sound of the wind blowing around them.

At one summer vacation, he stepped in, dragged the boy out of a pub, spent most of the days together. But he didn't miss how his heart got broken because someone decided to come back and ruin their moment.

Louis didn't like how he'd come and go all the time, not even when they already got a chance to apply for a collage abroad. Louis knew it wasn't the best idea, from what he'd heard about the other country, a specific corrupted city, the one they'd go to. He found himself following there as well.

Because in Louis' mind, he was still going to be there. And in order to keep living inside such city, he found himself dragged into a secret organization. And people like him were exactly the type they're looking for. Someone with no past to return to. Someone who could still be violent if triggered. And he found himself agreeing to their terms.

Not in a millions years he'd thought he'd find the person who he despised the most stepping inside the organization's building. The one he tried so hard to throw out of a cliff. Not literally, but he did try to push him away, from himself, and from another one. Perhaps the violent route didn't work out, not even the 'calm talking' approach had worked out. Because at the end of the day, no matter what he did, it'd still lead to one route only.

 _Fate doesn't change_. Those words were deeply emblazoned in his mind. Because here they are.

▶⚫◀

Zayn sat quietly waiting for his sister to wake up. Harry thought it'd be best to apply the necessary analysis now since they were only given three months. The virus was already at an advanced stage when injected and they were not going to waste more time. For the time being –despite Zayn's protests– they'd agreed to work on his sister's case first, then his own, if they had extra time.

That's why Zayn was sitting there doing nothing, while Harry is inside the lab. It's not fair, really. This was not supposed to be happening, not to his sister, not to Harry.

A flutter of her eyes makes him lean in closer until she's fully awake. He smiles softly at her.

"Morning"

She smiles as well and stretches a bit then sits up mumbling a morning back. "How are you feeling?"

"Good" she glances around the room, "Where are we?" then she frowns, "What happened?"

"Um …" he trails awkwardly. Should he tell her if she didn't know? Or should he keep his mouth shut and not scare her? Yeah, he's definitely going with the second approach. "Go wash up, and I'll wait outside. I have a surprise for you" he winks at her and stands up leaving the room.

"Okay" she says slowly.

Zayn finds Harry standing in front of a monitor and he stands next to him for a moment looking at the results its showing then turns to Harry.

"She doesn't look affected. It's not what he told us it'd be like"

Harry nods, "She's more than fine. The virus isn't affecting her that badly because her body is stable" he pauses for a moment, "She wasn't his first target" he turns to Zayn, "It'd be like what he said if it was you. Your body is already damaged that it won't be able to handle the virus"

Zayn doesn't know if that's for the best that they have more time, or the fact that it was supposed to be him is meant to make him feel worse. "That means we have more than three months" Harry nods again, "We can work on you as well"

Harry sighs, "When we're done with this one first"

Zayn frowns. Harry looks tired, nervous, and maybe it's the virus that got injected to him and Zayn is worried. "What's wrong?"

Harry shakes his head, "There were twelve of us working on that project. And it's just me here-"

"You're not alone" Zayn interrupts him sternly making Harry turn to him, "I did study for two years with you, and even-" he bites his lip looking away, "I used to sometimes read your researches. And you might think I sleep in the back, but I was actually paying attention to what you say" he picks his head up, "I might not reach your … level. But I'm the best you could have right now"

Harry smiles. A gasp catches his attention and he looks behind Zayn to see his sister standing there. She hugs him tightly and he chuckles. He can see how Zayn rolls his eyes but a fond smile is present on his face. She pulls back and he can see how they so look alike.

"Look at you. All grown up"

"Me? You've gotten taller! Again!" she turns to Zayn and is about to say something but decides against it and turns to Harry again. "It's good to know you're alive"

"Yeah" Harry says awkwardly. She keeps glancing between the two until someone comes through the door.

"Thought you might need some food" Louis announces.

Zayn holds his feelings aside for now. He wants to reach across the room and punch Louis in the face, but he drags his feet towards him, snatches two boxes and grabs his sister next, pulling her away from Louis' presence.

Louis sighs and he wants to do the same as Zayn but also settles for just handing Harry a box, and keeping one for himself. Zayn should be grateful he even brought him something. Harry on the other hand keeps his mouth shut, he doesn't want more issues to deal with right now.

"Who's he? He looks cute"

Zayn scoffs, "He is not _cute_. He's the worst person you could meet"

His sister narrows her eyes at him, "What happened between you too?"

Zayn takes a deep breath, "A lot. Just eat your food quietly"

She stays quiet for a moment, occasionally glancing at the other two. She didn't miss that Zayn isn't wearing his ring anymore as well "Are you and Harry still together?"

Zayn stays quiet for a minute as well. _Are they?_ "I don't know where we stand"

"Is that why you hate that guy so much?" Zayn leans back in his seat, his appetite is no longer present, "Don't ruin it if you're out" she warns, "They seem happy"

Zayn takes a glance at the other two as well. _No_. "You don't know what Louis did. He is _not_ a good person"

"I know what _you_ did, and that never stopped me to think of you as a good person" she counters.

Zayn shakes his head, "You don't understand. He basically ruined our life. Louis is the reason we're fucking stuck in-" he cuts himself off. She doesn't need to know about this situation. He'll get her out.

"You're telling me that you weren't the cause of ruining other people's lives?" she whispers calmly. Zayn knows, he remembers, and she doesn't need to bring it up right now. He stands up leaving the room. Harry looks up but she shakes her head leaning back in her seat as well.

One thing Zayn's glad of is that the lab isn't being watched.

▶⚫◀

When night approaches, Zayn is satisfied that there is no one awake to annoy him anymore. His sister is asleep, after Harry somehow managed to explain to her that they're staying here … for reasons, Zayn didn't hear it and he didn't ask, all he cared about is that his sister still doesn't know anything about the situation they're stuck in.

Harry is still working in the lab, and Zayn is supposed to be there as his assistant, so he gets up of his bed and heads towards the lab.

Harry doesn't notice him, focusing on writing something. Zayn clears his throat to earn his attention.

"So, um … What do I exactly need to do?"

"Try to figure out an anti-formula" Harry mumbles, but Zayn didn't hear what he said clearly, "There's a list of the formulas we tried before, look through it before coming up with something similar" Zayn nods and picks up the file Harry points at.

An hour passes and Zayn huffs in annoyance. Are they going to stay like this for the following three months? No wonder he didn't like medicine in the first place.

"This isn't fair" he whines, "How come Louis is the only one that moves freely _outside_ this place?"

"Because his job requires him to" Harry replies in a monochrome tone, "Evans would keep the people I care about close in case he wanted to threaten me more"

Zayn smiles at that. But the first statement makes his smile falters. "She's going to know eventually" Harry informs him, "We need her awake and attached to many devices for tests"

Zayn sighs, "I don't want her to get scared" he turns to Harry, "She's my sister! I can't be the one telling her that she's dying! … I can't"

"At least you still have feelings towards your family" Harry mumbles as he returns to his work.

"I lied"

"What?"

"I lied when I said that my feelings weren't present with my memories. Louis told me that this" he motions around with his hands, "would happen, so I didn't tell you. We thought it'd work, but I blew it up"

Harry smiles and stops writing, "So your feeling towards _me_ are still there?"

"Can't shake them off even if I wanted to" Zayn smiles as well.

Harry stands up and walks to him, "Say it"

Zayn tilts his head, "What exactly do you want to hear, Dr. Styles?"

Harry shakes his head, Zayn would always be a tease. His hands are placed at each side of Zayn on the counter, but he isn't leaning in. Zayn huffs in frustration and cups Harry's face to bring him closer. It is a bit desperate from both sides, it's been quite a long time.

Harry picks him up, placing him on the counter so he can get between his legs as they wrap around him. "I missed this"

"I missed _us_ " Zayn replies then connects their lips again.

Someone clears their throat from behind and Zayn tries to pull back but Harry is having him in his place. He pulls back eventually and Zayn blushes, panting and blinking up at him with big eyes, then buries his face in Harry's chest.

Zayn is used to be the one who's teasing, never minded to show off, wasn't the type who wouldn't let people watch. But this is different. He'd never done it with someone that he actually _loves_. Not to mention, doing it in front of someone who's in love with the person holding him.

To Zayn, it's like Harry is confirming to him without words that he still wants this. Still wants _them_. And instead of being the one who watches, he's the one putting on a show.

"Yes?" Harry asks.

"If you have that much spare time, I thought you'd rather want to invest this precious time in something useful. Like, maybe, figuring out a cure to the virus that would cause your death?"

Zayn bites his lip instead of firing back at Louis. He doesn't plan to move. Unless Harry does.

"Working all the time would cause me a headache" Harry replies nonchalantly.

But Louis _is_ wasting their time, so Zayn picks his head up, "Unless you have something important to say, leave. We're actually in a middle of something"

"I do" Louis sits on a chair and Zayn sighs loudly. Way to ruin their first reunion. Harry kisses him quickly then steps away, leaving Zayn –still– flushed, but glaring at Louis at the same time.

"This place's security is shit. I can take them out-"

"Don't" Harry cuts him off, "I don't want to be the cause of another's death"

"Look, I know you feel guilty, but if we didn't do something about this, he's going to use it against many other victims. Deaths are going to happen either way"

Harry sighs, "I'm actually with Louis on this" Zayn speaks up.

Harry shakes his head, "He still has us here. I don't want to take risks"

Louis presses his lips together. He knows what Harry means, that _Zayn_ is still here, and any wrong move could lead him to get in the way. "I'll manage to keep all three of you out and safe" he still assures Harry, but Harry isn't convinced. One shot is all it takes. They all know it.

"Just think about it" he glances towards Zayn who he knows supports his idea, and doesn't care about him getting in the way, he's pretty much used to these kind of stuff anyway. He gets his sign when Zayn nods at him as a promise, and they might have bad blood between them, but they still care for the same person. He stands up and leaves.

Zayn hops off the counter and hisses in pain. His leg is still injured, he needs to put that in his mind, and walks towards Harry. "Right. Where were we?"

Harry chuckles, "You looked so beautiful when you were all flushed" Zayn scoffs at him but allows himself to be pulled towards Harry, "Should make people watch us while we're at it. Can already imagine how you'd look like"

Zayn blushes again, "At least they'd know who you belong to" he smirks bringing his hands slowly up Harry's chest. Harry smiles leaning in to catch his lips again. Zayn's hands travel downwards unbuckling Harry's belt. Harry quickly pulls back grabbing Zayn's hands to stop him.

"We can't" Zayn blinks up at him in confusion, "I might transfer the virus to you" _Oh_.

"That's why they invented condoms, you know?"

Harry shakes his head, "I don't want to risk it" Zayn sighs and drops his hands.

"Fine" he reaches for Harry's face again kissing him, "Doesn't mean I can't kiss you however I want" Harry smiles against his lips as they kiss again.

▶⚫◀

"Take a break"

"We're running out of time"

Zayn sighs and closes the laptop Harry's been working on. "You haven't been sleeping, you look like a mess, and you're starting to even make mistakes. Many"

Harry sighs as well, rubbing his face with his hands, "Zayn, we have less than two months"

"Louis has a plan to get us out of here. He'd already made the arrangements, then you could finally rest"

"Killing them won't help our case" Harry looks up at him, "Your sister-"

"Is fine" Zayn interrupts him, "And you know that. You weren't rushing this when you were first assigned to this project" He kneels in front of him, "Something else is bothering you, talk to me"

Harry stares at him for a while then shakes his head, "I'll try to get some sleep" Zayn smiles weakly at him as he stands up again, "I'll just finish this one. Promise" Harry smiles back but it's forced, and Zayn knows it's forced.

"Okay" he says quietly as he walks away.

There, outside the lab, Louis was waiting for him.

"So?"

Zayn leans against the wall hearing what Louis has to say, "They put the project under Harry's name, but not only the cure. They wanted him responsible of the spread of the virus as well"

"Of course they would" Zayn scoffs.

"The original papers were hidden in another country, so we won't be able to reach them. But they didn't know how far we could just go" Louis smirks, "V took care of it" then he shudders, "Sometimes I wonder how far _she_ could go. I'm glad that she's at our side at this one"

Zayn gulps, she _is_ good. "Yeah"

"Anyway, I sent my men to cut off any external links. All that's left are the ones here. Liam could take your sister away while you manage to get the necessary data for the case. Then you, me, and Harry could get out"

"Harry would protest"

Louis pauses to look at him, "And what on earth have _you_ been doing this entire month?"

Zayn sighs, "I've tried my best, but he won't listen! He doesn't even get much sleep!"

Louis shakes his head, "Utterly useless" he mumbles as he walks past him to enter the lab.

Zayn bites his tongue. He can't really deny that, but he just couldn't! Harry was so stubborn, and he can't even seduce him!

Not ten minutes have passed yet and Liam pops out, telling him that they're already proceeding with the plan. He takes him to his sister, ensuring her that Liam is a friend, then gets back to the lab.

To his surprise. Harry's head is in Louis' lap. And he's asleep. _What did Louis possibly do that he couldn't?_

Louis motions for him to gather the data and he moves quickly, "What did you use? Some drug?"

"Actually, he might have needed someone who doesn't _annoy_ him. And keep your voice down" Louis whispers.

"I don't annoy him" Zayn mumbles as he grabs a soporific shot and injecting it into Harry's body. They need to assure he won't wake up soon. "Okay, he's heavy" he informs Louis.

"There's two of us, and I'm not that weak" Louis stands up carrying Harry carefully making Zayn stare with a gaped mouth, "Well, I guess if you can't carry him, you could at least clear our way"

"Right" Zayn says quickly taking Louis' gun.

▶⚫◀

"I've seen this before" Zayn's brows knit in concentration. They've managed to get out with the necessary data, and Louis even provided them with a similar lab they could continue their work through.

They didn't want to put Harry in a temporary coma, but it was the only way they'd put him down so that Zayn could have a proper look at his condition. Not that he's a genius or anything, but at least know what they're facing since Harry didn't approve of it, not until they were already through his sister's cure.

And of course Harry was stubborn. His condition was already bad. His lack of sleeping and loss of attention was because of the virus. Zayn should've known that it wasn't just the pressure. Harry was suffering while working on another's treatment. It's just who Harry is.

But this, in front of him, seems familiar. The same condition. He'd witnessed this before. "Back in uni, he worked on a solo project. I don't quite remember why, but ..." he turns to Louis with a smile on his face, "Harry already got this one solved years ago"

"So this means-"

"Harry would live" Zayn leans back closing his eyes. At least one is safe now. Louis also releases a sigh of relief looking back at Harry. Once he wakes up he'd be able to craft the antidote, and he'd be fine. "He will live" Zayn repeats to himself.

▶⚫◀

"I didn't think you could be progressing this far. Who knows, maybe someday you'll even surpass me. Dr. Malik"

Zayn chuckles, "Learned from the best. Although you're exaggerating, I've just been helping around"

They still hadn't found a cure for his sister, and the symptoms are starting to show. The time they already had is now linked to how far the virus is spreading in her body. According to Harry, they still have another three months ahead for the virus to completely spread.

V went off to some place without telling them. Niall and Liam stayed around. Louis still had his business to manage so he stayed as well. Zayn didn't exactly talk to Harry about their relationship, didn't know where they stand, especially with Louis around all the time acting all friendly –to Harry– but it wasn't his priority either.

Plus, he didn't want to burden Harry more. And maybe he's annoying like Louis says. Maybe they've been drifting apart. Or it is actually a fact, it was just that from the start.

He'd been texting his family since his sister's illness excuse was used far too many times, and since she couldn't really talk without her voice breaking, or worse, she could faint at times. They kept her on her bed, attached to devices and monitors to check on her by each second that passes by. He hadn't told his family yet that he's still alive, or Harry. He's still working on how to explain all of this mess to them. In time.

_"She'll be fine"_

It isn't Harry who comforts him, it's actually the other way round. The burden is still on Harry, and no matter how many times he'll try to diverse Harry's attention, his mind would still not be with him all the time. Zayn kind of blames himself for it. Harry is still doing this for him.

_"I know you can do this, have seen you succeed too many times to count. I believe in you"_

He'd get a smile out of Harry, but Harry would still go back to the lab with his head in his hands, trying to figure out what he's missing on.

Zayn on the other hand, would find himself next to his sister's bed. Sometimes he'd be doodling on a notepad, other times he'd be staring at her, hoping that a miracle would happen. Or maybe he'd wake up from this horrid nightmare.

She blinks her eyes open slowly and turns to him. Zayn is on his notepad again, he'd tell her that his sketches aren't that good, his memories are coming back, but he feels his art is still missing. But she'd still praise him.

"Did mom call again?" Zayn picks his head up to look at her, "Last time I checked there was a voicemail … She's worried, Zayn"

Zayn sighs, "And what do I tell her?"

"The truth?" Zayn stares at her for a minute then returns to his notepad. "She might want to see her daughter before another jar get sent, you know?"

"There won't be another jar" Zayn raises his voice, "We'll work something out" his voice quietens, "You'll be fine, and then we're all going to get out of this place"

She turns her head again to stare at the ceiling. "Just you and me?"

He knows what she means, and he doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't answer either, just looks down at his notepad and hopes that they _will_ return home. Both.

▶⚫◀

_Two months pass, and Harry feels useless._

He is still stuck. Didn't come up with anything, his head is filled with so many assumptions building, but none of them is working out. He still sees Zayn's face when he's sitting next to his sister, noticed how he doesn't eat properly, but eager when he sits with him to try coming up with a cure. He's become distant, and he doesn't know if it was his sister's illness or another thing that's been on his mind lately. Perhaps the same idea that invades his mind as well.

"I think you should get some rest"

It's Harry who tells Zayn this time. Zayn looks up at him and shrugs so Harry sits next to him near his sister's bed as well. "I'm doing all I can-"

"I'm not blaming you" Zayn shakes his head, "It should be me, not her"

"Well, be grateful. You've probably died months ago"

"Deserve it"

Harry frowns and turns to him, "Zayn, we all make mistakes. Doesn't mean that you need to die for it. At least live to mend it" he turns to face the bed again, "You're not the only one who made mistakes anyway"

They stay quiet for a moment, listening to the beeping voice of her heart, until Zayn's eyes close and Harry feels a weight on his shoulder. He smiles down at him, wrapping his arm around Zayn and placing a kiss on top of his head.

He glances at the opened notepad and smiles. Zayn put some chemical formulas together to form some random shapes. It's stunning actually, he missed seeing him draw, it used to relax him all the time, perhaps why Zayn was doing it. But something else catches his eyes as well. There, between all the combined shapes that was merged together, somehow his mind was able to process one formula. A one that could _work_.

▶⚫◀

The next morning, when Zayn wakes up in a bed –Harry moved him there last night– and his notepad opened next to him on the sheets. There's a handwritten sentence that isn't his at the bottom of his sketches.

_'You're a genius! xx H'_

He frowns getting up and reaching his sister's room. He finds Harry there, standing in front of the bed, smiling widely. He turns to him once he notices Zayn and hugs him, kissing him quickly.

"You should've totally completed your medical degree!" Zayn still frowns at him in confusion, "You … found a cure for your sister. A virus that no one else could find an antidote for. This should be written under your name" Harry smiles proudly.

"What?" Zayn manages to say after a long pause.

"Between the lines of your drawing, there was a formula that was written among others, I tested it, and it worked!"

"It was a sketch" Harry nods, Zayn laughs, "Yeah, sure. If this is supposed to make me feel better about myself, it doesn't work, Harry" his face returns to something cold and Harry frowns.

"If you want to see it yourself, be my guest. But I _am_ serious. You might have done it randomly, you might say it was just _luck_. But this sketch might have been thrown away the next day. And I think it's fate that I was there to notice it" Harry smiles at him.

Zayn stares at him for a minute, "Your sister is healing. You should be happy"

"Pinch me" Zayn says slowly. This can't be happening, right? It's some fantasy dream he'd always thought about. Harry sighs but reaches to pinch his ass. Well, he didn't specify where. Zayn takes another minute to process. "My sister is fine. She's not dying anymore?" Harry nods at him again, "Did I mention that I love you?"

Harry laughs and pulls him in for another kiss. "I thought I'd never hear those words from you again"

"Why? Planning on dumping me already?"

Harry was going to laugh again, but Zayn isn't joking. He pulls back to properly have a look on Zayn's face, "I don't know why are you putting these ideas into your head. But I'm never going to"

Zayn pulls away completely, "You like him" he states quietly and Harry sighs.

"I have tried for two years to think of anyone else, but my heart always leads me back to you. Why can't you just understand that?"

"But you like him" Zayn repeats.

"Zayn, why are you doing this?" Harry's brows knit together.

"You're not even denying it"

Harry takes a deep breath, "I owe Louis a lot. We might have been close for a while. But I love _you_ "

"You gave him _my_ ring! It was supposed to be a promise between us! How is this nothing to you?" Zayn raises his voice.

Harry shakes his head, pulling something from his pocket. Zayn could clearly see it's the same ring. He frowns. "I never gave it to Louis. I don't know why he took it, and I don't care either-"

"You're honestly arguing about a ring?" Both turn to see that Zayn's sister is awake, "You're giving me a headache"

They both mumble their apologies, and Zayn steps closer to her. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm about to throw up" Harry also comes closer, "Better actually" she corrects once she notices the worried faces. "For how long do I need to stay on this bed? My mom is going to kill me if I didn't call her. Can I have water?"

Harry gets up, "I need to make sure you're 100% stable before leaving that bed" he says as he makes his way through the door. Once he's out she turns to Zayn.

"Honestly, you're the dumbest being I've ever seen" Zayn gapes at her, "You don't know but there are nights when I'm awake and Harry and Louis are around"

"If you're going to tell me that they're _in love_ and I should step back. I don't want to hear it"

"Louis loves him, he'd do anything for him" Zayn groans, "But I don't know what spell you used, because Harry doesn't care about him as much as he cares about you" Zayn looks up at that. _She's not going to tell him to back off?_

"Harry had been in love with you since your first year in high-school. And he's still in love with you. And if you need a hit on the head to get that I'll be happy to apply" Zayn looks down and she sighs, "You're my brother. And I've seen your worst and your best. Zayn, you're not a bad person. And Harry sees that in you … Don't lose him"

Zayn chuckles, "My father told me the same" she smiles, "I really wish I could rip off my past life and start a new one"

"People learn from their mistakes" She shrugs, "I guess it's better that way. That you've already done the bad, it's time for you to make the good … Perhaps even try to teach that to your children"

Zayn laughs, "You're talking about something _so_ far, I even doubt-"

"Oh please, you'd jump in his arms once he kneels before you" Zayn blushes and smiles. He would actually.

▶⚫◀

Zayn knocks on Harry's room afterwards. He needs to clear things up.

"Separate rooms problems" Zayn smiles, "I thought that knocking was a thing of the past between us"

Harry chuckles and allows him in. Zayn doesn't sit, just turns to him once Harry closes the door. "I'm sorry I doubted you" he starts playing with his sleeves, pulling it to go past his knuckles, "I shouldn’t. You'd never, and I … I was being jealous"

Harry leans back on the door, his arms crossed in front of his chest, "I would try to accept Louis as a friend if you consider him as one. Only if he didn't try to pass his lines" Zayn looks up at Harry then.

"And what if he does?"

Zayn approaches him so there's little space between them, "Then I need to put my trust in you knowing you'll push him away if he tried anything, because …" he unlatches Harry's arms, "I love you, and I should know that you love me too, and that you belong to me like I belong to you" he brings his gaze up slowly and blinks at Harry waiting for a response.

"I'm not better than him, you should know that too" he adds as his gaze falls downwards again.

"I didn't ask for someone who's perfect" Harry replies quietly as his hand move to brush at Zayn's cheek, "I could remember well that I chose you with all your flaws" his other arm wrap around Zayn's waist making him smile, "And I would still choose you" he tilts Zayn's head up with his fingers then leans in for a soft kiss.

"Can I do something?" Zayn whispers against his lips and Harry pulls back. Soon Zayn is out of his arms, picking up his phone and playing a song.

"You will dance for me?" Harry raises his brows.

Zayn rolls his eyes, "With you" he corrects offering his hand for Harry to take.

 _I'd stroll into a bank and put a ski mask on_  
_And walk out with a million bucks_  
 _Then I'd burn it in a pile out on your front lawn_  
 _Just to prove it didn't mean that much_

Zayn mouths the words to him, but Harry laughs at him. It's not sexy, he is doing face expressions along with the lyrics as they move around. It's not even a dance song.

 _I'd sell everything I own, take a pile of cash_  
_Walk into the casino, bet it all on black_  
 _Then blow all of my winnings on a limousine_  
 _To make out with you in the back, hey_  
 _I'm not afraid to look insane 'Cause I'm crazy about you_

Harry shakes his head and mouths 'stop' at him but Zayn pouts at him and keeps dancing around. He is still a good dancer though.

 _There's nothing that I won't do_  
_Just to make you love me, love me, love me_  
 _Throw away my pride for you_  
 _Just to make you love me, want me, trust me_  
 _Baby, I know I'm not ashamed_  
 _Just need you and I could care less_  
 _If everyone knows that I'm your fool_  
 _Girl there's nothing I won't do_  
 _Just to make you love me, love me, love me_

He is not sure when exactly he'd grabbed Zayn to stop, but it turned into a make-out session.

 _I'd buy a couple red-eye one-way tickets to Paris_  
_doing first class ride_  
 _Then I'd carry your body to the top of the tower_  
 _to kiss your lips at midnight_  
 _Then we'll wander through the streets, and drink champagne_  
 _Get drunk and start singing in the pouring rain_  
 _I'll acapella karaoke "Sexy Thing", 'cause baby I feel no shame_  
 _Say this whole world can know you're all I need_  
 _'Cause baby someday I'll drop and hit one knee and tell you_

Zayn does drop on one knee.

_I'm not afraid to change your name 'Cause I'm crazy about you_

"You told me before that we were young, and you don't want us to haste things, but we’re not young anymore, and I honestly won't wait any longer, because it turns out that waiting only makes things worse. And since you're not doing it, I don’t mind kneeling before you. I don't have a ring, but would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

Harry smiles brightly at him, "I would have done it in a more romantic way-"

"This _is_ romantic" Zayn insists.

Harry laughs but nods, "Yes, I would love to be your husband"

"Good" Zayn smiles widely as he stands up, cupping Harry's face and kissing him.

Harry pulls back and picks up the ring once more, "It belongs to you" he tells Zayn as he slips the ring back on his finger. "Only you"

 _Throw myself out of Jedi plane_  
_Hundred feet a second just screaming your name_  
 _I'd steal a cop car turn the blue lights on_  
 _Pick you up and drive it around ‘til dawn_

This time Harry mouths the words to him and Zayn laughs, then closes the distance between them.

▶⚫◀

_I'm climbing up the walls cause all the shit I hear is boring_


	11. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｔｅｎ

_But baby running after you is like chasing the clouds_

▶⚫◀

Zayn doesn't have much to pack. All his stuff got shoved inside a backpack, all but his weapons. Harry wouldn't allow it, and also, they wouldn't take it very good at the airport.

"I'm happy for you" Zayn turns to smile at Niall, "You're having a one-way ticket out of this place"

Zayn sits next to him, "Yeah. What about you?"

Niall shrugs, "Guess I'll just stay, do the usual"

Zayn tilts his head slightly, "You can come along" he offers but Niall seems uncertain, "Start a new life too"

"You're going to your family, Zayn. We don't all have this luxury"

Zayn rolls his eyes, "You're my friend, Ni. Besides, we're going to work something out … Like, you must have wanted to do _something_ other than _this_ "

Niall smiles, "I wanted to be a singer, not a job, I know" Zayn was about to protest at that but Niall dismisses him, "I know how to play a guitar, can write some lines too. But, you know …"

Zayn sighs, "We both know that this place is killing whatever spark is left inside people. Come along" he offers again. "My home town is … well, not as bad" he chuckles. "I can't quite remember it, but I wasn't exactly the perfect guy you would meet out there"

The door opens and V walks inside.

"Going without saying goodbye to me? I'm disappointed" she fakes a gasp.

Zayn smiles and stands up to hug her. Despite everything that happened, and everything she'd done, she was still someone to rely on, someone who gathered him from the streets, and taught him pretty much everything he knows about fighting. He'd still lose to her in a one-on-one. She and Niall are the two people who he considered them as friends inside Paige. Despite her harsh attitude, she'd been the big sister around too.

Zayn's not quite sure if he had seen such genuine smile on her face very often. "I was just going to pass if I knew you were here"

"A word from me … Don't come back"

"So much for missing me" Zayn mumbles as she pulls away to look at him. She's an inch taller, still having her hair up in a tight bun and wearing formal clothes. But her face is softer.

"I wish you a happy life, Zayn. Truly"

"You too, Viola" it feels weird to call her by her first name, but she nods at him in approval. And Zayn doesn't know why but he feels like she is a mother looking proudly at her son. He offers a wide smile. "Hope that you keep Louis under control"

"Oh! I'm not staying with Louis. He could do whatever he wants for all I care"

"Then, where are you headed to?"

She smiles again. That tight one that doesn't reach her eyes, a secret still hidden. "That is for you to not worry about" she squeezes his shoulders once then turns to Niall. "Been a pleasure meeting you, Ni. Hope you achieve your dreams" she smiles sincerely then leaves.

"She's a good person" Niall tells him after she's gone. Zayn turns and smiles. She is.

▶⚫◀

"So, you're going to carry on this … job?"

"I don't really have a better field that I could fit in" Louis replies. "And it's better that way … Us apart" he doesn't look sideways at Harry, he knows he can't have a goodbye kiss or anything like that, and he convinces himself that he'd go over it. "It was always meant to be. Fate doesn’t change"

Harry does look at him while he talks. He has Zayn, but Louis did so many stuff for him. It's not fair, how life works. Maybe he'd love him in another world, where he didn't meet Zayn first. "I still owe you a lot. Thanks"

Louis nods, "This is farewell then" he turns to Harry, "I really wish you a happy life, with whoever that is. You deserve it"

Harry smiles, "I'm sure we'll cross paths again"

"Doubt it" Louis interrupts him.

"You're still a friend, Lou" Harry puts a hand on Louis' shoulder pulling him for a quick hug, "I'd be happy to see you again. Do pass by"

They pull back, Harry leaves and is met by Zayn.

"Don't" he warns once he notices Zayn's expressions, "He's a friend"

"I was just going to say goodbye" Zayn rolls his eyes, "A friend of yours is a friend of mine" he smiles but Harry knows it isn't genuine. "It's not like I'm going to kill him, Harry"

"You can be quite rude sometime. Actually, rude is not enough to describe you"

Zayn sighs and leans in to kiss him, "We're changing, right?" Harry smiles down at him, "I am" he corrects, "I'm trying my best here" this time Harry chuckles, pecking him again.

"Alright"

Zayn waits until Harry is out of sight then turns towards Louis.

"Always a showoff" Louis says loudly.

Zayn smiles, "A kindly reminder to fuck off" Louis rolls his eyes, "I'm only doing this for Harry. I don't like you, even if we owe you, it still doesn’t mean that I'll someday like you"

Louis pauses to look at him, "You're done?" Zayn narrows his eyes at him, "It's actually good to see you before you leave. Let _me_ remind _you_ of something important" he steps closer, "Harry loves you. But he doesn’t appreciate it when you're high, drunk, dancing on a pole or on someone else's lap-"

"I'm done with that. Long time ago" he interrupts Louis sharply.

"You don't know what you have until you lose it. Don't mess it up" Louis warns one more time and walks past him.

This was his moment to tease Louis, but apparently, Louis got the upper hand in their little argument.

He spots the one person that he doesn't really want to see before he leaves, and it's pretty much showing on his face.

"Grumpy as always" Liam smiles widely at him.

"It's good to never see your face again" Zayn fakes a smile. A bitter one.

"I'd always miss your ass though" Zayn shakes his head and walks away. "You don't have to be so cruel" he pouts and Zayn just turns to stare at him, unimpressed.

"Goodbye, Liam" he still says it.

Oh, how good it'd be to finally get out of this place. A dead place if he had to describe it.

▶⚫◀

"Oh god. They're going to panic. What if they didn't welcome me back? What if they-"

"Zayn" Harry cuts him off, "You're overthinking this"

"Easy for you to say. You don't have a-" his eyes widen and he turns to Harry, "Gosh! I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't mean it!"

"It's fine" Harry shakes his head but retreats his hands into his lap. They have already taken off. Zayn's sister and Niall are two seats behind them. And although Harry shrugs the subject, he still keeps quiet for the rest of the flight. Zayn doesn't try to talk again.

They land, and Zayn's sister calls their mother informing her of a 'surprise' even if Zayn wouldn't call it as such. He wanted nothing more than to crawl in a ball and disappear. They've been informed of their death two years ago. It's not like they can go in and say 'Oh, It was a big misunderstanding' and laugh it off.

He's thankful when Harry takes his hand in his squeezing it in assurance. At least he's not mad at him for what he said earlier. He could go out of line sometimes, which he makes a mental note to apologize properly to Harry later.

Zayn's sister go in first, then slowly motions for them to get inside.

Zayn tears up, his whole family burst in tears. And they don’t ask questions about it. Just glad that they're fine and alive. Zayn tells them about Niall, and they insist they all stay for the night.

His room is still the same, and they bring extra duvet for Niall. He and Harry settle on the bed.

"It went better than I thought" he whispers to Harry as he plays with Harry's fingers around him.

"Told you, you worry too much"

He turns to the other side so he can face Harry, "I didn't mean what I said on the plane. I'm sorry if that hurt you, but … You have us. I mean, my family basically loves you more than me" he chuckles, "I'm not envious, I swear!"

Harry huffs a breath, "I know"

Zayn smiles scooting closer to him, "Also … We're basically building a new family soon" he says carefully looking up at Harry who also smiles down at him.

"I like the sound of it. A family of our own" he tucks Zayn's hair behind his ears, "Which reminds me, that we won’t be living in your parents' house. We still have some savings that could provide us a decent place for the moment, and we can look for jobs for income"

Zayn closes his eyes, "Good. You keep on making plans and I'll sleep"

Harry chuckles, "But I was just going to talk about your wedding dress!"

Zayn opens his eyes to glare at him, "A _suit_ " he corrects, "Now hush. I don't like to put too many plans for the future"

"Actually you should" Harry says more seriously making Zayn groan and open his eyes again, "We're not going to live for the moment when we have kids!"

"Kids?" Zayn repeats. "Thank god I'm not going to produce them" he turns to the other side so that Harry could get the hint and sleep already.

"It's not physically possible. But I could imagine how they'd look like if we can"

"Keep imagining, and leave me to _sleep_ " Zayn mumbles.

"You're no fun, I was going to at least try" Harry pouts.

"Try what, Harry?!" Zayn whisper shouts. "For fuck's sake, just sleep. I swear you get the craziest ideas after midnight!" He knows Harry is just messing around and he would love to mess with him, but Niall is at the same room and he doesn't want him to see or hear them getting into _it_. Harry doesn't seem to mind though.

"Could you stop talking about producing babies?" Niall groans. Zayn sighs and flops back on the pillow, sending Harry a look before he does. "And please keep your clothes on" he pulls the covers over his face making Zayn blush and Harry chuckle. Zayn still elbows Harry until he stops and wraps his arms around him again.

▶⚫◀

Niall moves out to an independent flat. He surprisingly got to sing once at a pub and the owner liked him very much and offered him a job.

Zayn and Harry moved out to another flat together. Harry got a job at the local hospital, and they didn't even have a look at his certificate or doing an interview, his reputation was well-heard of and they were happy to accept him among their team.

_Zayn had a very hard time picking a job._

The problem is, many of the people he'd known before he left were bumping into him occasionally, and they were offering jobs … _not of his interest_ _anymore_.

He could've accepted just any job if they were available. And to his luck, finally, got a job as a tattoo artist. The shop was a bit far, but he didn't mind, as long he could pay his share of the rent, and provide enough income.

Harry still gets to see Zayn sleepy figure in the morning, with his head on Harry's chest and his hair messy, and his adorable pout. He moves his head carefully to get up but Zayn frowns and turns to the other side. Harry knows he's awake by now, or half-awake. Zayn doesn't process that much in that state.

He kisses his forehead softly, pushing the hair out of his face, "Babe, I'm off to work" he whispers in his ears earning a faint raise of Zayn's hand, something a 'wave' like. "When do you start your shift?"

Zayn doesn't open his eyes to see what time is it and mumbles 'after noon' as he pulls the covers further over his body.

Harry dresses up and leaves, deciding he'd call him when he's fully awake.

Three hours pass by and Zayn wakes up by the sound of his phone ringing loudly. He curses and squints his eyes to see the caller. His eyes widen when he sees it's Harry and glances at the time to see it's already 1 pm.

He sits up suddenly groaning. He knows he told Harry that his shift starts after noon, but it really doesn't and he's screwed up. He still gets up, washes his face and tries to make his voice as 'not-sleepy' as possible as he dials Harry's number back.

"Hey! I was just doing a client, that's why I didn't pick up" he pauses for a second, "That didn't sound right"

He hears Harry laugh at the other end, _"I got it, no worries"_

He tells Harry that he needs to go, and sits on the bed for a few minutes deciding what to do. He could still make a lie to the owner and have his job back. He dresses up quickly, making himself presentable and heads out.

▶⚫◀

"Traffic" He says once he enters the shop. The girl on the counter doesn't seem impressed at all and points to the owner's room. He takes a deep breath walking past her, "Is he in a good mood?"

"It's not about that. It's just that you made a first bad impression, and he doesn’t like people getting late"

"Oh" That doesn't look … good.

He still enters the room to be faced by the back of the owner. He didn't see him when he first applied here, there was another person that talked to him, and he isn't sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

The owner turns and Zayn finds himself half-shocked, half-relaxed, or not.

"Zayn! I didn't know you're the one who applied!"

"Thomas … Didn't know you owned a tattoo shop!" his brows knit together but he fights to keep a smile.

"Yeah, decided to leave the drugs for a long time now" Zayn nods and stands awkwardly. At least if he was an old friend. Well, not exactly a friend. But he could still have his job. "You're fired"

Zayn blinks, "Excuse me?"

"Zayn, you know me" Thomas smiles, "I'm very strict when it comes to business. _My_ business"

"Look, it was just-"

"Don't wanna hear it. Not interested" He raises a hand in front of him then shoos him away, "I have more than one applicant that are waiting" Zayn still stares at him in shock, and Thomas leans in on the desk, "Unless you have something to offer"

"I stopped doing drugs long time ago"

"I wasn't talking about drugs" he smirks.

"It was a displeasure meeting you" Zayn says and leaves the office.

"Your loss!" he hears from behind him as the girl on the counter gives him a shrug while popping her gum.

▶⚫◀

"Mhm … And now you have no job?"

"I'm asking if you could do me a favor here" Zayn whines to his sister.

"You could've apologized" Zayn opens his mouth and closes it again, "We have been on the hunt for a job for too long, you know there is no other empty seat you can sit on"

"I'll just call Harry, see if he can seek me something"

"Burden him with your shit more" his sister says sarcastically.

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Go. Get. Your job. Back. It’s so simple" Zayn sighs and gets up.

It isn't _simple_. He doesn't want to do it. He promised Harry he'd change. On the other hand, his sister is right, he can't be some sort of a 'housewife' and he can't lay down and do nothing while Harry does all the job.

That's why he's back at the tattoo shop, standing in front of Thomas with a blank expression on his face. He just need his job here, it's not a constant thing, and no one would know.

▶⚫◀

_Bad idea._

It's been a horrible one. Zayn has to wear long sleeved turtle neck shirt and put his hair down so he's completely covered. That bloody guy just had to leave his _mark_. He could see Harry's questioning glances but he tries to act as casual as possible, diverting the subject to anything else. Also, trying hard not put Harry _off_. Just until those marks fade, god knows they'll take another day or two.

He makes sure Harry sleeps first, even wakes up before him the next day. He is determined to go on time, his alarm is set. He'd even show up earlier if needed.

His phone buzzes just as he finishes dressing. It's an unknown number, but he answers anyway.

 _"I warned you"_ Zayn frowns.

"Wow. Your stalking skills are impressing. Truly"

 _"You had your chance and ruined it. You think he won't know eventually?"_ Zayn sighs.

"It won’t happen again, and he _won't_ know"

_"Is that what you tell yourself each time? Cause it does happen again and again and again. Your words"_

"Stop this, and get the hell out of my life already!" Zayn hisses.

 _"I'll give you one day. Either you tell him … Or I do"_ the lines goes dead and he receives a message shortly after. Some photos. _Him and Thomas_ , with a caption.

_'Don’t make me send a video as well'_

Zayn deletes them quickly and throws his phone away. How does Louis know all of this? And how did he manage to get these photos? Unless …

He gets up quickly leaving for his 'supposed' job.

▶⚫◀

"Oh! You're early!"

"You work for Louis" Thomas's smirk grow, "He paid you to ruin my life?" Zayn grits his teeth.

"Relax. I was just paid. I didn’t see a harm in it, you're gorgeous! And _very_ flexible" Zayn balls his hands into fists but Thomas doesn't move, "You want to lose your job, Zayn?" he steps closer, "I was paid once, yes" he reaches for Zayn but his hands get swept away, "But you see, I'm the one holding the evidences. I'm the one who's keeping your life out of Louis' reach. You still want your happy life … right?"

Zayn doesn’t think it's a good idea. It's leading him to more lies, and god knows what Harry would think of him if he knew. But that's exactly the reason Louis did this, it's why Thomas is standing there knowing he'd accept his offer. Because if he needs to cover his little dirty secret from Harry, it'd just pile into more.

_He's sinking back._

"Louis already has the photos. What could you offer more?"

Thomas smirks again, "Louis has only _one_ way of reaching you. You can change the phone's number. But here …" he pulls Zayn harshly towards him. "I have the upper hand" he whispers in his ears. "You'd always been a pretty one" he smirks against Zayn's neck.

Zayn just closes his eyes.

▶⚫◀

Zayn does create an 'accident' where Harry's phone gets crashed and the SIM gets damaged just the night he comes back. Harry changes it and Zayn relaxes. Louis can't reach him in another country, and he could actually begin with a new page.

Only it isn't a clean one, and the number of pages he'd ripped off to start again are too many that his book is coming to an end soon, leaving only the cover with no content.

He made Thomas agree on not leaving marks on his body, and he'd always arrive home before Harry, so he gets to shower, and make himself presentable if Harry wanted to do anything. Not that Zayn doesn't want him to, it's just that he feels … just like Louis says.

 _Doesn't deserve him_.

And he must be a horrible actor. Or that his feelings are getting in the way too much that Harry started noticing that something is off between them.

"Niall is playing his new song at the pub, what do you say we go?"

Zayn honestly wants to clear his mind, or not, he wants to _shut it down completely_. Drinks and drugs are always his best friends to ease it up on him.

Harry agrees, a night off is cool.

Once they're inside, Zayn leaves to get some drinks. Harry stays sober after noticing Zayn's fifth drink in hand.

Someone walks past him and puts something in his pocket. Zayn excuses himself for the bathroom and pulls out the paper.

It's another picture, a clearer one. But Thomas promised he wouldn't. He pulls his phone out to call him but finds another unknown number calling instead. He answers quickly and he isn't surprised of who the caller is or what they say.

_"You know, you've been only delaying it. It's foolishness of you to think that I couldn't reach you through someone else"_

"Louis, please. Why are you doing this?" he's not completely drunk but he's partially sober.

_"Because you will always be you. And Harry needs to know that. And apparently, your 'one time' extended"_

"You love him!" Zayn shouts, "Why do you want to break his heart?! Can't you just wish him happiness with someone that isn't you?!"

The lines goes quiet for a moment, " _I do love him. And I would wish him happiness with someone that isn't me … But also with someone that isn't you. And you want to talk about breaking his heart?"_ Louis raises his voice as well, _"It's sooner or later, and you know that"_

Zayn leans his forehead against the bathroom's door, _"I'm giving you another chance"_ Louis speaks up again more calmly, _"Tell him, or when you both come home, you'll need to explain why your walls are covered with pictures of you and Thomas having sex"_ Louis hangs up and Zayn slides down the door.

_He's beaten._

He slowly returns to Harry and Niall who give him worried looks.

"Can I talk to you?" he asks Harry quietly, "Alone?"

Harry's brows come together but he nods and they both head outside.

"Weeks ago … I had sex with someone to maintain my job" Zayn doesn't look up as he confesses. But he knows that Harry is probably, certainly, having a hurt expression on his face.

"I was threatened … by Louis" he looks up then, because Harry also needs to know that Louis has a hand in this, "That he would send the video to you. So I went on with it for a few more times-"

"You mean daily?" Harry interrupts, "I'm not blind" Zayn's brows knit together, "Your body would have marks occasionally, and I know what's mine and what isn't"

"You knew?"

"Not at first, but I had my doubts, and you …" Harry takes a deep breath, "Just confirmed them"

"Harry-"

"You could've told me. We could've found a solution together, but you would still choose the shorter way!" Harry yells at him. "You don’t get it! No matter how many times it happens, you never learn!"

A silence takes over both of them, neither looks up.

"Back then when I did it with Louis you said it mattered to you even when it didn’t to me. It's the same" Harry says calmly, "But I did it in order to protect you … What did you do it for?" Zayn look up at that.

"For us" he states simply, "I didn't want to ruin our life by just one mistake-"

"One?" Harry interrupts him, "Zayn, you did it because you didn't want to put yourself in an embarrassing situation" Zayn opens his mouth but nothing comes up. _Did he actually do it just for himself?_ "Zayn, this isn't working" Harry takes a deep breath. " _We_ are not working"

Zayn doesn't know what to say. That he should've seen it coming? That _he_ is to blame? Should he cry? Should he chase after Harry as he turns and walks away? But say what? His 'sorry's doesn't solve this situation. And he surely doesn't own enough explanation for his motives.

Louis was right, he is _himself_. The worst ever he could be.

▶⚫◀

_I had a one-way ticket to a place where all the demons go_


	12. Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｖｅｎ

_I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist_

▶⚫◀

"I just need a place to stay the night"

Niall sighs stepping inside and allowing Zayn in. "Wanna talk about it?"

"We broke up" Zayn answers quickly before Niall could finish his question who in turn gapes for a second. He doesn't know who's at fault, but they both loved each other deeply. They just need time, so Niall just keeps his mouth shut.

Zayn flops on his couch, "I'll be gone by morning, you needn't worry" then closes his eyes.

"Okay?" Niall says uncertain. Zayn doesn't say anymore words so Niall lets him be.

▶⚫◀

Zayn is indeed gone in the morning. He didn't stay for breakfast, just thanked him and left.

It's not until a month later that he finds out that Zayn didn't go back to Harry, nor back at his family's house. He didn't even answer his phone when Niall called, but he'd send him a text after telling him that he's fine and was just busy.

What _'busy'_ Zayn meant didn't have an easy settlement over Niall. So he used his tracking skills to find him.

And his doubts were true when he found Zayn lying on the pavement at night, just outside an alley, blinking slowly at the sky.

"What have you done to yourself?" Niall kneels at his side checking for injuries.

"What time is it?" Zayn asks instead.

Niall sighs and glances at his watch, "10:30 pm"

Zayn clenches his jaw, "That bastard, shouldn't have stayed till this long" he mumbles and sits up.

"You're waiting for someone?"

"A reaper" Zayn answers sarcastically but Niall has a feeling that it is a _fact_. He turns to Niall and sighs, "Why are you here?"

"Checking on you. You're welcome" Niall mimics Zayn's tone making the latter roll his eyes.

"Never asked you to" he stands up and mumbles something under his breath. Niall catches on that and frowns. He can hear Zayn faintly mouthing _'Should've done it the old way'_

"Where exactly are you staying?" Niall asks but Zayn doesn't turn nor stop, just waves his hand and continue walking. Niall sighs and follows him quickly grabbing his arm to make him turn, "You think this is going to solve anything?"

Zayn shrugs, "Don't care"

"Making more mistakes won't cover your old ones. Zayn, you should've talked about _this_ , whatever it is. I'm sure the two of you could've worked it out"

Zayn looks down and stays quiet for a moment, " _I_ am a mistake" he says quietly as he pulls his arm from Niall's grip and walks away.

Niall doesn't follow right away, not when Zayn's in this condition. He waits then follows him from a distant that Zayn would probably notice him if he was his normal self.

They reach a bar and Niall follows him inside until he passes over a guy in a hall that leads to private rooms. Niall sighs, he hopes his doubts this time isn't true as he approaches the man. He clears his throat when the man raises his brows, "I'm with Zayn, he just forgot something and I was about to give it to him"

"You can give that to _me_ and I'll make sure it's delivered"

Okay, here goes the hard way. He glances around and quickly kicks the man between his legs and elbowing the back of his neck when he bends down. He runs down the hall once the man is on the ground. He is sure security is going to get him for that, but he can worry about that later.

A shout is heard through one of the doors then a women's cry, and other muffled noises that indicates a fight is inside. He quickly opens the door and gasps.

"Thought you'd be better than that!" A man laughs even though he's on the floor and got blood on his face. Niall gets a look over the room and he finds Zayn standing with a bloody face as well. There are two girls holding to each other on the other side of the room and once they notice Niall they stand up and hurry to get out of the room.

Zayn reaches for a broken bottle, not caring when the glass cuts into his hand and throws it towards the man on the floor. The man barely dodges it but Zayn approaches him again and keeps kicking until Niall holds him back.

"Maybe you're just meant to suffer. Those were the best kind" The man mutters as he smirks from his place on the floor and Zayn manages another kick to his stomach before Niall pulls him away completely.

Zayn doesn't talk to Niall, just calms himself down until Niall loosens his grip and he pulls away, walking towards the door. Niall sighs following him again.

"I don't know what you got yourself through. But at least let me help" Niall sends Zayn a hopeful look. Zayn stares at him for a while then sighs glancing at himself, all covered in blood. Not a good condition, which means he _can't_ have a place to stay at tonight.

Niall takes him back to his flat but Zayn doesn't let him do anything with his injuries. Just enters the bathroom and closes the door until he's finished.

"Are you hungry, or-"

"I'm good. I'll be off at the morning" Zayn repeats the same words he said the last time, but Niall shakes his head.

"You're not going anywhere" Zayn looks up at him with a tired expression but Niall keeps his serious face, "I don't have to guess where do you go, Zayn. I'm just going to let you sleep for now, but we _will_ have a talk in the morning"

Zayn blinks at him then leans back on the couch. Niall sighs and walks to his bedroom when he swears he heard Zayn mumbling something.

_"There won't be a morning"_

▶⚫◀

Niall should've known.

Zayn's body is pale, and no matter how many times he tried to wake him up, it's useless. And his heartbeat is so slow it's almost nonexistent.

He does the first thing anyone would do. Taking him to the hospital.

He finds Harry talking to another doctor at the hospital, with a smile on his face. He's not sure if he's affected by the break-up. Maybe Zayn was the one to run away and he just accepted that? Who knows?

Harry sees him once he's finished and turns to walk in his direction.

"It's good to see you, Ni" he greets him, "Something tells me that you're not here for just a small talk"

Niall sighs, "A friend of mine is an idiot, so I had to save his life by coming here"

"Zayn" Harry doesn’t ask, he doesn’t need to guess it either. Niall nods slowly, "Where's he?" Niall points to a room and Harry nods. "I'll see what I can do" he assure him as he walks away.

Harry enters the room to find another doctor with a nurse inside. "What do we have?" he asks as he glances over Zayn's body on the bed.

The other doctor turns to him, "Apparently a suicide attempt" Harry frowns, "Or it could be unintentional, but I've seen this drug before" he pauses to put the oxygen mask on Zayn. "There have been … some cuts over his body too. Some bruises as well. Suicide was my first assumption because of them-"

"I'll take care of this case" Harry interrupts him and the doctor looks at him for a moment then nods.

"It's not a serious one-"

"I have a free schedule today" Harry informs him and the two leave the room.

Harry stays at his place for another minute with his eyes closed then shakes his head and walks towards Zayn. He pushes his sleeves up and closes his eyes again. There are cuts, many actually, that covers his arm from the wrists to the elbows. He didn't think Zayn would be the one to self-harm but clearly he was wrong. There are some bruises over his thighs, hips, neck and face that were cleaned but fresh.

He made sure to inform Niall that his state is not good, but he'll live, and Harry is going to be at his side, so he could go home and have his daily life. And he hates the feeling he gets when Niall asks to make sure that Zayn doesn't have STDs.

He returns back to Zayn's room making sure his state is stable and took a seat beside the bed.

Four hours later, Zayn started to slowly open his eyes and he glanced around him taking in his surroundings. Clearly, he is in a hospital, he knows that much. And also, certain green eyes are boring into him. His mind takes him back to after the accident, and maybe deep inside of him, he wishes he's still there, but with his memories back, and he could see the sparkle in those green eyes.

But it's not, and those green eyes aren't sparkling.

"You planned to kill yourself" Harry starts calmly, "Have you ever thought of the people who are close to you?" Zayn closes his eyes for a second and reopens them to glance at his body. He hates how he's attached to some devices still and he brings a hand up to remove the oxygen mask.

The reason why Zayn hadn't stolen a gun and pointed it at his head to end his life is that each time he thinks of a regular way of suicide, a memory of his mother and sisters flashes behind his eyes and he ends up crying.

"There aren't people close to me" Zayn croaks out.

"Niall cares about you, he's a friend that actually saved your life. And your family-"

"My family hates me" Zayn turns to Harry. There's a part of him that wished Harry would say _'Me'_ but he didn't and he doesn't blame him for not saying it. Now that he thinks about it, he still has the ring. He should give Harry that back.

"Stop assuming that everybody hates you"

"Clearly you do too" Zayn fires back as he tries to sit up. And he isn't mistaken. His father heard about what he'd done which Zayn also confirmed that the rumors he'd hear all the time are also true. He slapped him in the face, called him a disgrace, even said that he was better dead, then kicked him out. His mother was shocked but didn't say anything to him. He could also remember the look on his sisters' faces, disappointed, but not hatred, sympathetic even.

"I can't let you simply go" Zayn might have heard it wrong, no he definitely heard it wrong. Harry isn't letting him go from the _hospital_ , not from him. "You still need to be under-" Of course. Typical Harry.

"Well, hate to bring it to you, but _I_ am leaving" he pulled away the different medical tubes then got to his feet. "You should've just let me die in peace" he mumbles before he steps in his shoes and Harry doesn't move from his place.

"Unfortunately, my job is to save lives, not the other way" Harry counters. Zayn sighs and turns for the door. He's dizzy, but he'll manage. Just one thing before he goes. He turns back and walks in Harry's direction where he is stood up by now and takes off his ring handing it to Harry. Harry grabs his arm, "You don't even have a place to stay" he reminds him.

"I'll manage-"

"By getting into somebody else's bed" Harry interrupts him harshly, "Seriously, Zayn? You're not making things any better!"

"And why do you care?" Zayn shouts back. He soon regrets it though, a part of him knows why, but he doesn't say it out loud. Never the one to say it out loud. "I'm a fucked up person, Harry" he says quietly as he slips his arm out of Harry's grip, "You'll be better off without me"

Harry had managed to be alright during the last month. He is the one who got messed up, but that's just who he is. He's already a messed up person.

But what Zayn didn't know, that night, when Harry walked away, he'd still wished Zayn would run back to him and beg him to stay, that they'll find a solution. _Together_. And what Zayn also didn't know, is that Harry would've actually _stayed_.

▶⚫◀

"You being dead is not paying for your mistakes" Niall informs him sternly.

For many reasons, Zayn didn't want a random place to stay the night at, that's why he ended up at Niall's door.

"I think … We should first get you to a healthy state" Niall looks over him, "Did you become an alcoholic or a drug addict or se-"

"No" Zayn cuts him off.

Niall hums, "Good" he takes a seat beside him, "I talked to Harry" he says carefully and Zayn turns to look at him, just looking, with no specific emotion on his face. "We think you should … see a … Psychiatrist"

Zayn then gapes at him, "I'm not some sort of a maniac!"

"No" Niall ensures him quickly, "You don't exactly need to be crazy to go to a psychiatrist. But you _do_ need help"

Zayn blinks at him, "No" he says and stands up, "Coming here was a mistake" he opens the door to find two big guys standing in the way. He turns back to Niall with a look of disbelief, "You wouldn't!"

"I'm sorry. This is for your own good"

▶⚫◀

"I want you to tell me how do you feel"

Her voice is smooth, calm. Very calm. The type that isn't comfortable at all. That's probably his seventh time sitting in that solitude room, with nothing but a soft mattress and covers for his body. He never expected to be inside a mental institution, but clearly 'The people who care for him' put him here. Seven times seeing this woman and not uttering a word to her that would be useful. He'd swear, curse, shout at her and then leaves. Well, she is the one who leaves.

Seven times, which means he's here for seven weeks. Alone in a small room. There are people who'd come and bring him food and water, but they don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to them either. No one has ever come asking for him, and he's literally being watched for 24 hours a day. Oh, what a life!

She sighs, "You know, Zayn. You're not getting out until I see an improvement"

"Not my problem you're blind" He smiles.

"Okay, let's take this differently" She takes a paper out of her notebook and hands it to him. "I was told you enjoy drawing" then she hands him a pen, "How about you _draw_ how you feel instead?"

Zayn takes the paper and pen scratching down on it. She waits until he stops and hands it back.

"Zayn …" She sighs again. He'd written 'Fuck you' on the paper. "I think that would be enough for today" She sends him a forced smile and he could tell she's tired. _Good_. She stands up leaving the room.

The next days are the same. She'd bring his family in the conversation, mention his childhood, his rough times when he lost his memory, and he could tell that Niall and Harry along with the rest of his family are the ones providing her with the information. She'd ask him about Harry, remind him of all the times they shared. But Zayn would keep quiet, unless she stepped over a sensitive matter, he'd yell instead.

Two months pass and Zayn would definitely call himself mad right now. There are no drugs or alcohol in his system to actually keep him sane. And he can't have a _good time_ with someone, and he also can't do anything to himself either. He'd be stopped right away.

A girl that's working here came to bring him food instead of the old grumpy lady that usually does.

"I'm new here" She smiles at him but Zayn doesn't smile back. "You look like a mess" she notes quietly. "You know, I can take you to a decent bathroom where you could shave and look … presentable" she offers. "Might get you out if they see you're improving" she shrugs.

Zayn's brows knit in confusion. "Why are you helping me?"

The girl turns to him and smiles, "Isn't that why we're all here? To help those who get in?" She steps closer, "I read your file. You sound normal to me. Just had a tough life" she pats his shoulder. "I don't think taking you away from the world helps" she shakes her head. "You should blend in … Starting a new life-"

Zayn laughs interrupting her, "I don't think there is a _new_ life for me" she frowns, "Have tried that a couple of times before"

"So?" she asks raising her brows, "I believe you're still living for a reason" Zayn stares at her for a minute until she speaks up again, "Come on! You need to give yourself a makeover! At least impress the next psychiatrist who comes in!"

Zayn's mouth quirks up. _He's given a life for a reason_.

▶⚫◀

"So … How're you feeling today?" Dr. Rodger asks him, or simply, Stan, his current psychiatrist.

Zayn smiles, a genuine one. "Ready"

Because he's living for a reason. And he's ready to move on. He's ready to let go of his past and move to something new. Because for the first time, he doesn't have a wine glass in his hands, or a head high on drugs, or someone else's dick shoved in his ass. He doesn't have a gun in his hand, and he doesn't see blood in front of his eyes. His mind is clear … He is _clean_.

He convinced himself to give himself another chance. And to give the new psychiatrist a chance as well. That maybe he was indeed in need of help. Harry had left him here and never asked about him once, which means that he already forgot about him and moved on.

Zayn doesn't blame him, he completely understands. He and Harry were not meant to be, and that's okay. Many people meet and don't have to carry on. Maybe they're just one of those.

Zayn knows he can't forget about Harry. He'd been a big part in his life, has been the one always grounding him, but that never worked either. _They_ never worked.

He didn't mean to flirt with his psychiatrist. He didn't want to be that awful person who leads people on to nothing, and has told him as much, but Stan shrugged it off. Even told him that it was actually a big step to express his thoughts instead of keeping them like he always does. Zayn had a glimpse of a thought that Stan might be the one to help him move on, but Harry's face pops in his head every time, and he honestly doesn't know what to do.

▶⚫◀

Two weeks later, Zayn is out, and got a work as a bartender.

When he first found out that Niall was singing there –regularly– he wanted to turn the offer down, but Stan showed him a log that shows who came into the institution to check on him and Niall was there once a week, he recognizes the dates after his one-time meeting with the psychiatrist, probably to check on his progress.

What also caught his eyes that Harry also came, more frequent that Niall. And he doesn't know if it was out of sympathy or that he genuinely cares. There's a tiny part inside of him that pushes the thought of Harry came because he never moved on. But the bigger part tells him that Harry is just a good guy, and a doctor that cares after his patients.

His thoughts are even messed up more when Harry comes in with a group of friends to celebrate someone's birthday. He looked happy, but Zayn choose not to be bitter.

Harry notices him and sits on a stool across from him, "You cut your hair" It's still long, but he got rid of the excess that reached after his shoulders. He can't pull it with a hair tie anymore so he puts a headband on when it bothers him too much. "It looks nice on you" Harry says softly while smiling.

Zayn smiles as well, "Thank you. What can I get for you?"

Harry bites his lip taking a moment to just stare into Zayn's eyes then orders. Zayn doesn't say anything about his order, but he still smiles at the faint memory when Harry would order non-alcoholic drinks to stay sober while he gets drunk off his ass, just to make sure he's okay.

Stan smiles brightly when he reaches him as well and he's a bit tipsy when he orders another drink. Zayn tries to tell him to stop but gets ignored.

"You should have a time off as well!" Stan shouts over the music but Zayn shakes his head. He has work to do, and he also promised himself that he wouldn't get drunk again. Not alone, not in a bar, just to make sure he makes no more mistakes.

When his shift is over though he grabs his jacket and leaves as soon as his co-worker gets there. He tries to get to Stan to tell him that he's done and they should leave. Stan offered him a place to stay at his house just until he's good to go on his own. He never tried anything, giving Zayn his time and space, and Zayn appreciated that.

Stan nods at him and it's Zayn turn to try steady him as they walk out. Harry's eyes were on him the while time, but Zayn kept pushing whatever ideas that came into his mind away. _They're over_.

Once he's outside, Stand stumbles and his back hits a wall then they both fall on the ground. Zayn sighs while Stan giggles then standing up again.

"Wait" Stan starts and Zayn turns to him. "You look so pretty … Always actually" he steps closer licking his lips and Zayn takes a step back. His back hits the wall again then he's on autopilot. The first thing Zayn's learned from V while he was at Paige, is to never wait, be always on defense stand. And Stan isn't the one to do these move normally but he's drunk and Zayn can't risk anything.

Stan grabs one of Zayn's arms but Zayn pulls away and pushes Stan instead. He tries to bend Stan's arm behind his back, but for the love of god, his physical strength couldn’t betray him at a better time. They both stumble to the ground when Stan resists and Zayn falls first leading Stan to land on him.

He's heavy, and Zayn can feel the impact of his back hitting the floor with additional weight on him. It hurts. He's startled for a second and he's shocked to find his hands above his head pinned to the ground next. His legs are restrained by Stan's weight on him.

"It's been hard desperate nights when I had to restrain myself" Zayn's eyes widen and his first reacting is to turn his head when Stan forces his lips harshly onto his neck.

"Get off me!" he tries to break free once again but fails and he ends up accidently pushing his hips upwards making Stan moan. Fuck.

He forces his eyes shut as a tear escapes him. He tried. He tried so hard to not have another mistake, but it appears that misfortune haunts him wherever he goes.

It also appears that his prayers might have gone through for the first time in his life as the weight on top of him fades and he opens his eyes to see Harry, on top of Stan who's now on the floor receiving punches on his face.

"Never touch him again!" Harry growls at him then stands up and helping Zayn to sit up. He's about to speak but Zayn beats him to it. He's not really sure why, but he learned to let his feeling out. And he is.

"Where were you all those times before?" Harry's brows furrow as more tears start to run freely over Zayn's face. "Where were you each time I get pulled out?"

"Zayn-"

"No!" Zayn shouts, "You blamed _me_ for our fall, when _you_ never tried to get a hold of me!" Zayn's voice cracks and he takes in a shaky breath, "You would always watch when I slip away and never tried to pull me back … I was a fucked up person, but you promised to hold me down … You didn't … You let go" Zayn ducks his head and cries into his hands.

Harry slowly reaches for him bringing him closer so he could cry onto his chest instead, between his arms.

"I'm sorry" he whispers into Zayn's hair as a few tears of his own escapes as well.

▶⚫◀

Zayn wakes up and blinks his eyes slowly glancing around. It's familiar. So familiar. It's his and Harry's flat, the one they rented when they move here. And nothing's changed, everything is placed neatly like he's been here yesterday. There are soft fingers playing with his hair and he turns slowly to see Harry sitting next to him on the bed. _Their bed_.

"I just want you to hear me out, then you can do whatever you want" Harry retreats his hands and Zayn doesn't plan to move from his place on the bed. It's so comfortable, brings back so many memories, and it doesn't matter if they're good or bad. They've been with Harry. _Their memories_.

Harry takes a deep breath. "You were right. Half right" he starts as he looks down on his lap. "Whenever I'd watch you slip away I'd stand still. I promised you to be the one grounding you and I swear I've tried!" Harry turn his gaze to land on him, "I was there whenever you needed someone by your side. I was there to help you move on with your life and forget your past"

He averts his gaze again. "I wasn't there when you'd plan to get back to your usual habits because … I was scared" he picks his gaze up again to meet Zayn's, "I thought if I pushed too hard on you … you'd leave me"

Zayn sits up slowly, "I'm sorry I didn't hold on to you like you asked me to" he takes Zayn's hands in his gently, "But those past months have been hell to me" Harry starts crying and Zayn is about to pull away, because … Harry looked just _fine_. "You know why I had a free schedule to look after you at the hospital?" Zayn just blinks at him. "They had to put me away. I was not to be inside an operation room until I recover … I've messed up five times and gladly there were others to cover for me. No one died, so I guess that's good"

Zayn wouldn't call Harry a liar. Ever. And he doesn't need to look up after him either to know that this is true. Well, at least they've been _both_ suffering.

"I don't mean to brag, but I did call everyday to check on you when you were at the institution" Harry looks up at him for a brief second then his gaze falls down again. "And I'm definitely proud to say that I've never felt more alive when I punched Stan right then" Harry looks up at him again and keeps his gaze. "I just want you to know that I'm ready to fight for you through whatever it is if you gave me another chance. I'm ready to do whatever you want if you _spoke up_ your feelings"

"Then hold on to me and never let me go" Zayn breaks as well and Harry smiles widely through his tears, hugging him so tight to himself. Zayn holds him back just as tight.

"Don't regret your words then, because I'm very possessive" Harry says once they're both calmed down making Zayn laugh quietly into his shoulder.

He pulls away to look at Harry's face and smiles, "Never" his hands come up to cup Harry's face, "I might say the same. I like my belongings to be mine and mine only"

Harry's wide smiles is about to break his face any moment by now, "Never been someone else's" he says softly.

"Kiss me"

"That came out of the blue" Harry chuckles.

"You told me to speak up my feelings, now kiss me"

Harry sighs and leans in connect their lips. It's soft, nothing rushed, even if they spent too much time apart. And Harry doesn't plan to do anything more, well, if Zayn asked then it's another story, and it's not that he doesn't want to take it further but it just … It's a moment for them to gather up their feelings without sex involved.

"I've missed you" Harry mumbles against his lips.

Zayn smiles, "And I love you"

Harry leans in again for another kiss. "And I'm falling for you all over again"

▶⚫◀

_My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing_


	13. Ｅｐｉｌｏｇｕｅ

_I lost my faith, you gave it back to me_

▶⚫◀

"This is beautiful"

Zayn says while glancing around. "But it's so big …" he turns to Harry, "This has three rooms, Harry"

Harry bites on his lip and turns to stand in front of him, taking Zayn's hands in his. "Well, I was thinking that maybe we should have a guest room. If any of our friends passed by ... Or a family member" he says carefully. "Or … our future kids, since we're getting married and starting a family?"

Zayn smiles, "You've been very eager to have kids" Harry's expression doesn't change so he keeps going, "I also don't mind. I'd love to. I promised you a family"

"Which also reminds me" Harry starts again. "That you have a family of your own-"

"Stop" Zayn cuts him off trying to slip his hands away but Harry doesn't let him, holding into him tighter. Zayn glares up at him.

"You spend your nights stalking your sisters on social media. Zayn, I'm not blind. I know you miss them" Zayn avoids his eyes but keeps glaring at the walls instead. "Baby, I know how much your family means to you, and I know what you mean to them as well … That's why I invited them over-" Zayn gapes at him and Harry could feel that Zayn struggles harder against his hold, "Zayn, I'm not going to stand by and watch you lose something so important to you. I'm done with that. I care for you, and I do believe that's the best for you"

Zayn sighs, his shoulders slumping. "They …" he bites his lip looking up at Harry behind his lashes, "They said they'll come?"

Harry smiles widely. "I told you they love you just as much as you love them"

Zayn quit his job at the bar, and settled for doing art commissions from home. Surprisingly, his sales were big. He had some contacts that he still remembers from back when he was at collage and they were happy to recommend him to people. They even offered to have him back at the collage to continue his studying but he politely declined. He didn't want to return to that city no matter what. He did plan to have some courses here if available, or do some online in order to improve.

He and Harry saved up an amount of money and he begged Harry to move to another place, just far from the previous place, away from his dark memories. Harry agreed and they moved out.

▶⚫◀

"They're late. They're late, Harry. They won't come. I should've known-"

"Zayn" Harry interrupts his rambling, placing a hand on his knee to stop them from quivering. "They're _two minutes_ late. Which might be due to traffic, or one of your sisters didn’t know what to wear … They'll be here" he ensures him with a smile. Zayn sighs and leans into Harry's side for comfort.

Five minutes later they hear the door bell and Harry stands up to open it, finding Zayn glued to the couch. He is soon greeted by gasps and hugs from the girls while Zayn's mother shakes his head with a fond smile at her daughters' behavior. They love Harry very much. She hugs him too when the girls are done and they step inside.

Zayn stands up slowly, biting on his lips. His anxiety is starting to form, and he doesn't know if his sisters accepted the invitation just because of Harry, or they still see him as a brother as well.

His thoughts completely dissolves into thin air when they smile brightly and engulf him with a crushing hug.

"We missed you, you idiot" The eldest of his sister mumbles into his chest and he finds his own arms around them as well.

"I missed you too, so much"

"I didn't" a tiny voice speaks up and he looks down to see his baby sister crossing her arms and pouting, fixing her glare on his feet where her eyelevel reaches. He didn't have much time to spend with her, and he missed two entire years when he lost his memory. She must be five by now.

"When she finds us in your room she asks about you" His other sister tells him, the middle one. "And we would tell her about the time we shared together … I think she's jealous" she whispers to him.

Zayn coos at her as he kneels down to lift her in his arms. "I'm so sorry, my sweet little princess" looking at her big eyes and adorable pouty lips made him actually think about having kids of his own. He can really see Harry's point now. "I might've moved a bit far, but I swear I'll call everyday, and come visit you every weekend, then we can do whatever you want, okay?"

His mother chuckles and leans in closer to Harry to whisper in his ear, "He spoils them too much. I hope you'll be the strict parent"

Harry smiles. He knows Zayn loves his sisters dearly and would do anything for them, but Zayn is also the type to be overprotective. "He practically raised them" Zayn's mother continues, "They would go to him if they had a problem, and he'd listen. They barely used their room." She chuckles again, "They literally lived there"

She sighs happily and turns to Harry completely, "I've known about what he was doing back then, but he choose to ignore the subject whenever I try to talk to him. I know that he also did it to run away from his burdens. He's not a bad person, but he was just with the wrong people" She turns to look at Zayn, sitting now, with his sisters around him, smiling at their stories.

"The extents he was ready to throw himself at for us were unbelievable … And I was so happy when he met you … I know he might not really say it, but I believe that everything happened just brought you too closer, and he wouldn't trade you for the world" she smiles softly, "Thank you for being in my son's life"

Harry shakes his head, "No need"

Zayn approaches them, his mother specifically. "He didn't come, did he?"

His sad expression gives it all but his mother places her hands on his shoulders and squeezes comfortingly, "It was a moment of rage that he regrets. The girls were devastated when you left … You know they don't really listen to anyone but you inside that house" she rolls her eyes forcing a genuine smile out of Zayn, "You both share the same personality traits" she nods her head outside the door and Zayn smile grows.

Zayn is soon out of the door staring at the figure coming out of the car.

"Dad" he still bites his lip and looks down once his father approaches him, sticking to his spot on the ground. "I-"

"You're making this too emotional" Zayn finds strong arms hugging him as he blinks and hugs back tightly. "I know you made mistakes … but who doesn’t?" he pulls back looking at Zayn's eyes. "When you become a parent you'll understand these stuff" he whispers his last words making Zayn laugh.

▶⚫◀

"Zayn!" one of his sisters whine, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Zayn rolls his eyes, "No. You look beautiful" he sends her a smile then goes back to styling his hair.

"It's _his_ day, not yours" The other sister speaks up. "Which reminds me … where's Harry?" she frowns. "He better not be bailing out!"

"That's not helping!" the first one sends her a look once she finds Zayn frowning and stopped what he's doing.

"First time I actually see you dressed in all white" a voice startles all of them and Zayn's sisters send Zayn a confused look, but Zayn smiles.

"Glad you could make it, Viola. It's nice to see you again" he turns to the girl, "She's a friend. Now, shoo" he tells them making them groan but leave the room anyway. "No to mention … you're wearing a dress!" She arches an eyebrows, "Which seems lovely, I swear … Mam"

She laughs, "What's with the attitude?" she takes a seat, "I got your text. Figured it'd be my duty to secure the life of my agents" He chuckles. "Might as well sit here for a bit … Create a dramatic scene where you don't show on time"

Zayn rolls his eyes, "I'm not doing that to Harry"

"Be the first" Zayn frowns, "Kidding" she raises her hands. "Just letting you know" she stands up again, "I'll try to mingle with the crowd. I promise. No guns this time"

Zayn stands there still frowning. _She meant something_. He glances at himself one last time at the mirror. He looks great. He might be early as well.

He leaves the room, heading outside the house. There isn't much crowd, just his family and his and Harry's closest friends. But there, getting inside through the gate, stands the one he despises the most.

 _Louis_.

Zayn hurries to him to block his way.

"I don't care how you found out. I don't care about your feelings. And I don't care about anything that comes out of your mouth next. Get. Out" he points to the gate but Louis doesn’t move.

"Oh, well this is a show" Viola's voice come from next to him and she smiles the same smile she used to wear all the time when they were at Paige. An emotionless one. Zayn doesn't want to deal with Louis, not on his wedding day, not when he can ruin his life again. But V places a hand on his arms and tugs him away against his will.

"You want to live peacefully of troubled?" Zayn stares at her in confusion. Of course it's the first! "Just lay back and watch" she smirks and he has no idea why but he follows her back into the house. They peak out of a window at Louis once they're inside and Zayn watches as Harry notices him and starts walking towards him.

"What are you doing here?" Harry's brows are knitted together as he approaches Louis.

Louis smiles, "I thought I would be invited. Aren't I a friend anymore?"

Harry sighs, "Very well. You're allowed to stay if you want" Louis nods once and Harry turns to leave. "Sorry, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a wedding to attend to … _Mine_ " he throws a smile over his shoulder and Louis opens his mouth to speak but Harry suddenly turns again, "Oh! And thank you, by the way!"

Louis's brows furrow. "Um … for being here?"

Harry still smiles at him, "Being here actually proves to me so much. But that's another reason. All that you did to break us apart only brought us back stronger. And honestly, we wouldn't have reached here if it wasn't for your attempts. And your presence right now makes me feel absolutely …" he takes a deep breath, "Nothing"

Louis' face fall. "Now if you excuse me, I have to take my place waiting for the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. The person I _love_ dearly that soon is going to be my _husband_. The one that I share a simply _unbreakable_ bond with … Have a good day"

This time Harry leaves Louis standing there without hearing whatever else he has to say. Zayn watches with a warm feeling in his heart and a soft smile plastered on his face.

"He won't be bothering you anymore" Zayn turns to Viola, "You have my word on that" she smiles and his grows, hugging her tightly again.

"Thank you"

"Now come on. Your prince is waiting for you" Zayn pulls back and takes a deep breath. He's not worried, he's not scared. It's just him and Harry, and he can't ask for more.

▶⚫◀

Harry sold the ring he previously gave to Zayn, guessing it held too many _unpleasant_ memories, and he didn't want Zayn to look at it and think that it was even on someone else's hands, so he bought a new one.

Louis left after they said their 'I do's' clearly annoyed. But again, Louis believed in fate, and theirs didn't change … They were just meant for each other. It was written long before they met. And Louis couldn't erase that.

Their family and friends left late at night after the party which left Harry and Zayn alone in their new home.

Harry carried him inside bridal style despite Zayn's protests that made his cheeks turn red. He slowly put him down on the bed and took off both of their shoes off along with their socks, then hovered over Zayn.

"What do you want?" he asks softly, still not making a move yet.

Zayn bites his lip looking up at Harry, "Make love to me" Harry chuckles.

"More specific, babe"

"I want it gentle … And slow" Zayn smiles tilting his head on the pillow and Harry leans in to kiss him softly on the lips then pulls back getting Zayn to sit up so he can take off his clothes first. He does it slowly, taking his time undressing Zayn while he's still fully clothed, but Zayn reaches out to undress Harry as well once he's shirtless.

Harry kisses him deeply while he does so, still slowly, just like he asked. Then trails light kissed over his jaw, neck, chest, then his stomach until he reaches his pants and starts undoing them. Harry blinks twice at the white lace panties Zayn is wearing and he looks up to find Zayn still biting on his lips.

They haven't had sex since the last time Zayn got back home after the scene at the bar. Zayn shyly asked Harry, and Harry didn't want to push him so he agreed. Zayn wanted a time off from sex, proving to himself more than to Harry that he could stay sober, no drugs, no drinks, no sex, and he could still work their relationship. It went smoothly.

Having Zayn wearing _this_ now is taking all of Harry's self-control _not_ to roll Zayn on his back and just fuck into him senseless. _Gentle and Slow_. Zayn wants that, and he would give him that.

He just continues to slide his pants down, delivering kisses along from his thigh to feet, then back to kiss Zayn on the lips. He slides the panties off as well making Zayn raise an eyebrow.

"Thought you liked to fuck me while I'm wearing it?"

"True, but we're not fucking. And you're beautiful in each state"

"Not because you're afraid to lose control?" Zayn teases and Harry looks up again.

"Don't" he just settles for that and Zayn tries to suppress a laugh.

Zayn reaches next to him to grab a lube and hands it to Harry which in turns coat his fingers, inserting one carefully inside Zayn making him release a soft moan. Harry kisses him deeply as he thrust his finger ever so slowly, feeling how tight Zayn is since they had been off for a long while, _and it turns him on_ , his dick is hard against Zayn's, sliding in time with his finger.

Another finger slides in, then another and he could feel how Zayn's hips are moving in sync as well as his hands move from Harry's curls to his neck, his biceps, and settles on his chest, rubbing down to his abs. Harry stretches him out slowly until he feels he's about to burst if he didn't get inside Zayn already and pulls back his fingers.

Zayn's breath hitches when Harry's tip goes through his hole and he starts inching in slowly, putting a hand on Zayn's hip to steady him, as the other pulls Zayn's thigh until his leg is over his shoulder.

"Stop, fuck!" Harry does and waits for Zayn to adjust, he's not even all the way in. "Have you fucking grown?"

Harry chuckles, "It's just been a while … Relax, take your time. No one is rushing you. I can keep going all night at your tempo"

That gets a blush out of Zayn and he rolls his hips to adjust until Harry moves in again. "So … Full" Zayn mumbles as Harry leans in to kiss him again, then sucks at his neck, no teeth, no marks, _gentle and soft_.

They might have taken actually longer time that they usually do. Zayn closing his eyes enjoying how he could feel every inch of Harry as he thrust inside of him so slowly, hitting all the right spots. The hand that was keeping his leg up is now at his dick, brushing softly at his length, teasing touches at the tip. And he likes it. He enjoys the rough sex with Harry, but this is his new preference.

Harry is surely throbbing inside of him. But as Harry just looks at Zayn, face flushed and in complete bliss, long eyelashes shadowing his cheeks as his eyes fall shut, soft little moans escaping his lips along with his tiny gasps and breath hitches, and his legs wide spread in an angle that makes him just obscene. But Zayn is his, and he is the one who gets to do that to him now, enjoying the view. Harry finds himself not minding at all doing this everyday if it meant to see Zayn like this.

Harry adds just enough pressure on his hand making Zayn release a long moan when he keeps brushing at the tip just in time his thrusts speeds up a bit.

Zayn gasps, "That's cheating!"

Harry smirks, picking his head from where it was buried in Zayn's neck, "Tell me to stop if you don't like it" he's still being gentle, not thrusting hard, and his pace isn't considered fast, just above slow that doesn't reach a moderate pace. Zayn bites his lip bringing Harry down to kiss him deeply again.

Zayn's breath hitches and his insides clutch around Harry as he wraps his legs around Harry's waist to keep him close. And with Zayn being so tight around him, Harry settles deep inside of him as he releases, and Zayn's hips stutter from the hot sensation making him come as well. Harry thrusts a few more times slower than before then pulls out watching as his cum leaks from Zayn's swollen hole.

He strokes Zayn's thighs softly as he kisses him again.

"I feel like I'm in a dream" Zayn starts and Harry opens his eyes to look at him. "I'm having a happy ending with the man I love" he smiles softly and Harry smiles as well, "My husband"

Harry kisses him again, "Your husband"

▶⚫◀

Zayn leans on a wall with his arms crossed. He is not angry, or upset, not at all. He's just watching with too much fondness in his heart and a permanent smile on his lips as Harry talks about this new project he's doing.

Harry didn't force him to come, he knew Zayn would be busy with a client, but he did tell him. Zayn still wouldn't miss it. He might be a bit late, not getting a seat at the front, but it's been always like this. With him at the back, listening to every word Harry speaks.

He doesn't know why he still doesn't have the courage to sit up front, watch Harry glance at him every once in a while. Maybe he fears that someone would recognize him and judge Harry based on that, or that he'd make an embarrassing partner. Either way, he'd still be there for Harry, with him, in each step they take, and he's happy with that.

Harry finishes and he applauds along with the crowd. He waits for Harry to come down, and finish his small talks with the many important people so he could congratulate him privately. Harry's gaze picks up and he notices him, smiling widely when he does, as he excuses himself from the circle of people just to walk towards him.

Zayn stands up as Harry approaches him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"You came!" Harry says. His tone carries confusion as well as happiness, like he didn't expect him to be here, but he's happy to see him nonetheless.

"I was here the entire time. You were amazing, babe" Harry grins when Zayn's hands go to cup his face, and for a second, Zayn forgets where they are or who's watching as Harry's arms wrap around him to bring him closer. All he can see is Harry's eyes sparkling so brightly before he flutters them closed and their lips meet.

"Dr. Styles, that was- Oh, sorry!" someone says from behind him and Zayn jolts back, and Harry turns to the person. "I didn't know that this … is the lucky person" The girl stares at Zayn in rather a shock, but keeps her smile still, like she wasn't expecting Harry to be with a guy.

"Yes. This is my beautiful husband, Zayn" Zayn blushes and greets her. One of Harry's arms is still at his back.

"Nice to meet you" she greets back then turns to Harry, "So, we're throwing a party for your big step! Everyone is going"

Harry turns to him, asking him to come with a hopeful silent look. But Zayn can't say yes. He can't be with all those strict geniuses and be himself. He can't embarrass Harry.

"I have some work to do tonight, the deadline for the commission is nearing and I haven't started yet" he apologizes, "But you go have fun! I don't want to spoil this"

Harry looks at him for a moment, _through him_ , then nods turning again to the girl, "I'm sorry, but we won't make it"

"Harry-" Zayn frowns, his expression is similar to the girl but Harry shakes his head apologizing to the girl again. "You should've said _yes_. Go, have fun! I don't want to be the one holding you back" he says more quietly.

"What if I wanted to be held back?" Harry counters softly, his arms returning to their previous position around Zayn. "I'm not going to be the one who runs this time while you stay back and watch. If we're doing anything tonight to celebrate, we're doing it together. And if we're not, we're still be together. And I wouldn't ask for more"

Zayn opens his mouth to counter but can't come up with anything. And if he's being honest, he actually wants Harry to be with him instead. Call him selfish, but they already talked about possessiveness. Besides, he _did_ give Harry a chance to go. And he wouldn't have been bitter about it. He's happy for Harry, and he knows that Harry won't do anything against his likings. Well, nothing to ruin _them_.

"Fine" Zayn answers and for a moment of courage between Harry's arms he's the one who closes the distance this time dragging Harry's hands down. Harry gets the hint and he lifts Zayn up against the wall allowing the latter to wrap his legs around him. If they get a few heads turned then he doesn't care, because, "At least they know you're mine for tonight"

Harry smiles against his lips, "Yours _every_ night"

▶⚫◀

_Through the lies you were the truth_

▶⚫◀

**A/N**

**No more drama!**

**I'm glad to say that this is it folks! Thank you so much for sticking around with me! I love all of you <3**

**And now I can officially announce that I'll be moving to continue writing my other fictions, that includes a new one called 'Royals'**

**Hopefully no new ones until I finish ALL. Leaving people hanging is not a good thing (´°ω°`)**


End file.
